Help with story description!

hi so i’m currently making a new story about a dystopian rebellion/romance and i’m not exactly sure if my description is okay. this is it :

story description

Rayne lives in a seemingly perfect world. Then, she wakes up, in a dark room, with a note changing her life. The only way to get out of it? Rebelling against all she’s ever known.

story summary

So basically, everyone lives in a world that seems perfect. Like a utopian. The main goal for every person is to reach the age 17 (a year before adulthood) because they get to finally see the outside world. Trees, birds, other cities, that kind of stuff. But a girl does something to prevent her from living in this seemingly perfect society, and gets banned from existence, which leads her to the room and rebellion.

thanks! pls be honest BUT respectful.

I like it, the only thing I’d change is “Then, she wakes up, in a dark room, with a note changing her life.” - I’m not really a big fan of that sentence and I can’t really pin point why lol

I hope this helps <3

honestly same so i completely understand what you’re saying! thank you! <3

@Sydney_H or @Jeremy please close :slight_smile: i have the help that i needed


Closed by OP request. :smiley: