Helpful criticism...I don't mind

How do I see if anyone read my story??? Also please check out my first story!! It has 3 chapters so far! I need someone to give their opinion so I can improve in the following chapters. Chapter 4 is gonna be much longer btw :smile::stuck_out_tongue:
Ig: @__qeen_episode
Title: The Precarious Betrayal
Genre: Romance
Author: Queen
Style: Limelight
Description: Queen Robinson thought that her life was falling apart. Trust was broken and it may be hard to build back. Will she love another? Or fix her marriage? A love story turned bitter.

Link to The Precarious Betrayal

You can go to this thread where Jade does these helpful reviews. It might take a while, but they give really good advice.

If you do check it out and want to try it, make sure to fill out the application, so Jade knows what you’re looking for feedback on.

1 Like

The Precarious Betrayal By Queen

  • Run Time: 3:45
  • Am I playing as myself or Queen Robinson? You use both second and third person when addressing the same character in the CC scene.
  • Grammatical errors.
  • Missing punctuation in almost every piece of dialogue.
  • Few directing errors, including layering, speechbubble placement, and speechbubble tails.
  • There’s a delay between animations, dialogue, sound and the end of scenes
  • Show, not tell > Narration
  • Good use of music

Title, Description & Cover

Based on this definition, I don’t understand your title.

You should have a bar like this.
Image Credit ~ WeeBee

Further to the right, I believe it will say the number of readers.

In addition, to the right of your name it says the number of reads.

Ok thank you I will check it out

It’s supposed to mean something like unexpected!!! Yes you will be playing as Queen Robinson! Wow thank you thank you so much for the outline now I can fix certain things I didn’t notice… I will definitely go over the story and fix these errors!!!

Moved to Share Feedback since you’re looking for story feedback. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions. :wink:

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