Here's my story. What do you think?


#1

Hey everyone. Here’s my story. It’s based a lot on me and my experiences. I’ve only just started it and I’d like to hear what you think. Do you have any suggestions? It’s defined as a romance, but I at least know that I want my main character to end up realizing that she really doesn’t need a boyfriend.

Greetings TheGoodOne


#2

Hello! I would love to do a read for read with you!

My story is called The Hole and my author name is shanferg!

You can find my link on my linktree page!

I’d love to know after you read my first 3 chapters, then I will start yours!

:heart_eyes: xx


#3

Ok, I’ll do it.


#4

It’ll be in the next few days.


#5

Unfortunately, I can’t send the screenshots because I haven’t got Instagram, but here are a few things to notice:

  1. Right before Kevin hits Jenna, she’s smiling. Maybe it’s possible to change that?
  2. In the coffee scene with Lee, they walk with their cups horizontal when they’re supposed to be full of hot coffee. Maybe it would be possible to change that?
  3. In the same scene with Lee, he’s standing in front of Jenna when he pays for coffee. I just thought that maybe it would look more natural if he was standing behind her?
    These are just cosmetic suggestions, because overall I liked the story.

GOOD WORK!


#6

Thank you so much for reading my story!!! I’ll start reading yours ASAP!!!(:


#7

I’d love to do a read for read if you’re up to it :slight_smile:

My story is called Fantastical: Nature’s caprices, has 3 Episodes, genre is Fantasy, you can customize your character and love interests are male and female


#8

AWESOME! Love stories where you can customize that kinda stuff! I should point out that my story is only one episode :frowning_face::


#9

Ok, I’ve read the first two episodes and GOOD WORK! However, you might wanna check the mouth animations and character placement


#10

So I’ve read yours and it’s a little short but I know you are still working on it - however I like that you give the reader so many choices :slight_smile:
Keep it up!


#11

Thanks for that :smile: . Question: should I cut to the party? Or should I go on to describe class dynamics?


#12

Also: I don’t have the story written down. It’s all in my head.


#13

Maybe let the reader get to know the MCs friends a little at the class, maybe her crush as well :slight_smile:
I for my part would like that


#14

Okay thanks, but that doesn’t quite fit with where I intend for her to go. I want her to realize that she doesn’t need a boyfriend to be happy. But, duly noted :smile:. And… THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK! :blush:


#15

What do you say to this? You get to choose whether she’s into boys or girls. If she’s into boys, you get the message “Oh yeah, she’s definitely into boys!” and if you choose girls, you get the message “She’s into girls, but doesn’t quite realise it!”


#16

I definitely like that! Spread the love :heart:


#17

Awesome, gonna roll with that! :smile: Question: how do you make that little message that appears in the top screen?


#18

readerMessage :slight_smile:


#19

THANKS! :hugs:. But what’s the exact syntax for using that command?


#20

Notice: right now I’m using this board to figure everything out about my story.