Hi, first story and looking for critique on unfinished Episodes 1 & 2

So, the original post was about a month ago and I have learned a LOT in that time. I’m still hoping to get some critique from the pros re: characters and directing, especially how to make it more vibrant and intriguing. I’m probably editing the script as you read this, so please lmk if you plan to give it a look so I can patch any errors ^^;

TIA :slight_smile:


I feel this so much. :joy: Mine is turning 4 next month.

It’s a bit late here but I’ll give it a once over tomorrow some time and give you my thoughts. I’m pretty nit-picky so tell me in advance: do you want any and everything I notice as critiques? (I SS spots to help in my critiques so that it’s easier for coders to know where something is) OR more broad stroke/major issues that I see?

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I mean both if possible, I’ve previewed so much I’m sure my eyes are just glazing over some glaring issues re: coding (just fought with an open {} for 2 hours before I finally fixed it without knowing how). I could use advice on how to make things less jerky (you’ll know it when you see it) but also on how the pacing and characters are doing so far. I appreciate you and your time!

Okay. :slight_smile: I’ll probably read through the episode twice so that I can focus on the technical stuff only, then focus on the story the 2nd time so that I can give you my thoughts on pacing/character/etc.

I’m not sure when I’ll get it done tomorrow but I’ll send you a pm when I’ve read through so I can send the SS and thoughts :slight_smile:

Thank :3 I’ll have my speech bubbles adjusted by then lol

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Heyy, I’ve never reviewed for anyone before but I really wanted to help out. I don’t know much about coding on Episode so the best advice I could give would be purely from a reader’s perspective (storyline, dialogue, pacing, etc.). I’m not sure how thorough you’d like me to be though? Every few taps or overall scenes?

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Hey, that’d be swell :slight_smile: Be as thorough as you’d like, I’d defo like feedback on the characters and how well the animations fit dialogue. Also if someone like, leaps across screen or materializes out of nowhere bc I used the wrong character :sweat_smile:

okkk bet

Just a heads up that I consider it Mostly Done now :blush: I’m sure there’s room to improve but :person_shrugging:

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Sorry the last few days have been ridiculously hectic. I still fully plan to read through :slight_smile:

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no worries at all!! I hope it didn’t seem naggy I’m just super excited to say “dONE” :upside_down_face:

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No, not at all! I totally get that, I was the same. When I published my story a couple years ago, I ran to my husband and said “I’m done!” lol

bump :slight_smile:

bump :wink:

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