Hi would do you think of this story i have different scenes but i'm only on episode 1 should i just make a introduction of characters?

And also how is my story overall like coding and zooms? would apprentice it


Moved to Share Feedback since you’re asking for feedback. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics, and feel to PM me if there are any questions. :wink:

You have a few grammatical errors

—————————————————
You should say Tianna Petrov is from Russia
She’s the type of friend that’s got your back
Don’t tell me what the f*ck I need or Don’t tell me what I f*cking need
I thought you guys cared about me.
——————————————————
I don’t know what the stories about but your zooms and intro seem good.
——————————————————-
Also if you’re adding swear is up to what audience you want to target. Not adding them gives you a wider audience.

But you can have replacement words such as “ screw you” or “ You’re such a jerk/ass”

3 Likes

In which part and should i put f*ck ?

1 Like

what the zooms and directing is that good introduction?

1 Like

okay well i can give a description The mc samantha gets bullied because of disability and the kids at school make fun of it. But Nick the love interest also was previous bullied at school because he had cancer at 10 year olds he is trauma by that experiences and he couldn’t take it anymore so he had go to school home and his parents want him to go to school so he moved to New York and goes to Private School at there

But should i had more thriller and make it more adventure

Since it has a more serious theme I think using swear words would fit in with your theme.

1 Like

But is it too cliche i was going to had self harm and mental awareness because nobody seems to think that important

It’s not really cliche. There are a few stories about self harm but few make big compared to how many bad boy stories make it big.

1 Like

I know i can’t actually put the self harm but like in dialogue

what do you mean by how many bad boy stories?

Stories where there’s a bad boy and he’s a playboy, dangerously good looking and a jerk and the mc turns him good by falling in love with him and him falling for her.

1 Like

Or mafia bad boy and gangster

1 Like

Basically there aren’t a lot of stories where the Male lead is equally as average as our Mc.

1 Like

Should i change because i don’t want the Nick to be the like bad boy he’s like this way because he had a tragic past in his life

To be rude but a lot of the time the bad boy is a jerk because of happened to him in the past and the mc is the one who helps him. Hence the falling in love.

1 Like

oh yeah that’s true

Oh crap, Well the love interest is going though a life tragic event but MC doesn’t like him at first
i really hope this doesn’t sound like a bad boy stories
I was going to make the Nick the one who has cancer goes though depressed.

1 Like

DO NOT START WITH INTRODUCTION OF THE CHARACTERS!!!
99% of the episode readers hates it!

4 Likes