Honest Opinion Needed - Urgent

Samantha: You’re pathetic!
Anna: I’m not!
Samantha: Why?
Mia storms over
Mia: I’m giving you 3 seconds to back off!
Samantha: Why?
Samantha: You don’t have to give me time, because I’m not going to back down.
Mia: Anna, behind me now.
Anna: Mia…
Mia: Anna, get behind me.
Anna: Don’t hurt her.
Mia: Why?
Mia: She is bullying you.
Anna sighs and does as Mia says
Mia: Listen to me, you little b*tch…
Mia: You better not hurt my sister, or anyone else for that matter.
Samantha; Why?
Samantha: You can’t hurt me.
Mia: You sure about that?
Samantha: Yes.
Samantha: You may physically bruise me, but not emotionally or mentally.
Mia chuckles
Mia: Says the one whose parents don’t love her.
Samantha looks away
Samantha: Deep down, they love me.
Mia: Oh, really? Where’s the proof?
Mia: At least my sister and I have loving parents.
Samantha: …
Mia: Now, do I have to warn you to leave my sister alone again?
Samantha: No.
Mia: Good.
Mia: NOW SCRAM!


Is Mia being too mean?

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yea. she’s combatting bullying with more bullying. the most she should do is tell samantha to scuttle off and then remove anna from the situation

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I agree, it’s kind of bullying Samantha, rather than teaching her a lesson.

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yes! i think a good rule of thumb when it comes to defending yourself is to avoid insults, because some of the insults may apply to those who agree with you… idk if that makes sense. but like, the part where mia says “no wonder your parents don’t love you.” what if someone who agrees with mia sticking up for anna has parents that don’t love them? idk just a thought

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yes, i think stooping down to the bully’s level just makes her a bully, too. i think maybe you could have mia give an intense stare or something and then walk away with anna, instead of bullying samantha back. or even keep the other parts of the scene where mia storms over and warns samantha, but maybe just leave out the part where mia mocks her for not having a loving relationship with her parents. these are just my suggestions, though, don’t feel obligated to comply to them :))

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Thanks! If I take this:

What all should I remove?

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no problem! honestly, i would remove this entire part

and maybe just have mia laugh and then say ‘whatever’ or something yk? but then again, it depends on the type of character mia is. if mia is meant to be anna’s friend, then I would remove it bcuz personally, I would comfort anna and walk away instead of threatening the bully and interfering. but if mia is meant to be a bad person or just really obnoxious and a loose cannon, then i think the scene would be find as is. so really it just depends.

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Mia is Anna’s twin sister. They’re very close. What would you suggest for that? @episode.myra

ah okay! i would honestly just have mia warn samantha, and walk away. but it’s your story this is just what I would do :))

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That sounds perfect. How does this sound to you:

Samantha: You’re pathetic!
Anna: I’m not!
Samantha: Why?
Mia storms over
Mia: I’m giving you 3 seconds to back off!
Samantha: Why?
Samantha: You don’t have to give me time, because I’m not going to back down.
Mia: Anna, behind me now.
Anna: Mia…
Mia: Anna, get behind me.
Anna: Don’t hurt her.
Mia: Why?
Mia: She is bullying you.
Anna sighs and does as Mia says
Mia: Listen to me, you little b*tch…
Mia: You better not hurt my sister, or anyone else for that matter.
Samantha; Why?
Samantha: You can’t hurt me.
Mia: You sure about that?
Samantha: Yes.
Samantha: You may physically bruise me, but not emotionally or mentally.
Mia chuckles
Mia: Yeah, whatever,
Mia: Come on, twinny.
They leave

1 Like

i like it!!

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