Honest Opinions Wanted!

EXT. ABBEY GARDEN - DAY
&CAMILA stands screen right AND CAMILA faces left AND CAMILA is idle_awkward_uneasy_loop
@ANNA stands screen left AND ANNA faces right AND ANNA is idle_armscrossed_awkward_loop
CAMILA (talk_shrug_neutral)
Are you ready, Anna?
ANNA (talk_sad_timid_loop)
Yeah, yeah.
ANNA (talk_exhausted)
It’s not like this is a new thing at this point.
@CAMILA exits right AND ANNA exits right AND ANNA is walk_sad_loop
@transition fade out black

INT. ORPHANAGE HALL - DAY
&MANDY stands screen right AND MANDY faces left AND MANDY is idle_armscrossed_neutral_loop
@ANNA enters from left to screen left AND ANNA is walk_sad_loop AND CAMILA enters from left to upscreen left
&CAMILA faces right AND CAMILA is idle_armscrossed_neutral_loop
@ANNA faces right AND ANNA is idle_armscrossed_awkward_loop
ANNA (deepbreath)
Sigh
MANDY (talk_excited_happy)
Welcome, Anna!
@ANNA is idle_happy_loop
@pause for 1
ANNA (talk_sheepish_rubneck)
Thanks…
@MANDY is listen_nod_neutral_loop
@pause for 2
MANDY (talk_unsure)
I know this must be hard.
ANNA

ANNA (talk_sad)
Why won’t anyone keep me?
MANDY (talk_sad)
I don’t know…
MANDY (talk_sheepish_rubneck)
I’d adopt you myself if I could.
ANNA (deepbreath)
Sigh
ANNA (talk_unsure)
I understand.
MANDY (talk_neutral)
Let me show you to your room.
ANNA (talk_sheepish_rubneck)
Okay.
@ANNA exits right AND MANDY exits right
@transition fade out black

What exactly do you want opinions on?

2 Likes

It’s hard to judge with not being able to visually see it but from what I have gathered she is looking to be adopted but is having trouble finding someone to do so… I think it would make a cute storyline

1 Like

She actually really wants to be kept, she’s been bounced around foster homes.

1 Like

I see as this is coded have you got this in your story already? If so we can take a look if you like?

1 Like

I haven’t :sweat_smile: I’ve only just started.

No problem, what would probably be easier is to copy and paste this into your script even if it’s not your opening scene it will help is take a look. Do you know how to share story links? (This does not mean publishing)

1 Like

I do. Why?

If would allow us to take a look. Totally your choice and I understand if you would prefer not to.

This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.