Hi everybody, I have directed, coded and read quite a lot of stories so I think I will be able to give honest reviews on your stories. If you would like for me to do a brutally honest (If that’s not your thing I recommend you go somewhere else) review on your story then please read the rules below and fill out the form.
If this flops then it never happened!!!
Rules
Use the password HoNeSt and blur it out
Be kind to everybody on the thread
Use the form
Don’t rush me, I will finish it when I finish it
Form
Name of Story: Author Shory Description (Cuz no one has got time to read a hella long description) Story Card if you have one (If you don’t have one it’s ok)
How I will be reviewing it
First I will rate it in these categories out of 10
-Grammar
-Storyline
-Engagingness
-Directing
-Choices (If you have some)
-Character Development
Then I will give you an overall score out of 10
Then I will put specific details of what I think is good and what I think could do with some improvement.
If there is a certain part of it that could be improved I will put a screenshot on your review so you know what part.
Example
This is an example review from @hannahfriend 's story
link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5393279667077120 Good story would definitely recommend it! Name of Story: 6 Months Author Hannah Friend Shory Description Simon Hale is paralyzed from the waist down. Now you have to be his caretaker for the next 6 months.) Story Card:
Quick disclaimer, this is hannahfriends story card and I’m just including it so you can read the story if that’s what you like
-Grammar (8/10) Good grammar nothing really wrong, speech seemed flat sometimes though
-Storyline (6/10) I really like the plot and it seems really original but maybe work on slowing things down a little, you have tried to cram a lot of major things into 3 episodes.
-Engagingness (7/10) Good engaging story (the only thing that annoyed me was the intro because it was kinda long, but that doesn’t really affect it)
-Directing (7/10) Directing was pretty good, some places I think need changing such as scenes with cars when it looks like they are running over people, but overall not bad
-Choices (If you have some) (2/10) As far as I can remember there aren’t any and you should add some for an engaging story.
-Character Development (5/10) I think you went for very cliche ideas, like how Simon is super moody and the mum is stuck up posh but yeah, it’s your story so your choice how you present characters
Overall Score (6/10) Good things
I like how your story (not like many on the app) includes more diverse characters such as a “disabled” character
I think it’s good how you said where you were from
I like how some of it is focused on the little brother Could be better things
In the first scene when you are customizing, you should zoom in more on the characters face so you can see them better because it is quite small to be able to look at eye shape and colour and things like that.
You told the reader very much about your life from the start, you should use show not tell
A lot of the backgrounds that are not episode backgrounds are very blurry and pixelated
Quite Cliche characters
Episodes are very short, when writing I aim for around 3000 lines (excluding customisation) so maybe try to be around that they have a better episode length because when they are short it can throw the reader off and make them less likely to read your story.
If you are on the waitlist the I will read your story Waitlist
Name of Story: Before The Storm Author Mia Shory Description Raven was always feared and envied…that was until she started working for the ruthless Blaze monroe. With a mysterious past, a new romance and dangers will she make it out alive? Story Card if you have one (If you don’t have one it’s ok)
I haven’t published yet I’m still waiting for some backgrounds to be approved, I was wondering if you could read it anyway so i can get some feedback? I have finished first 3 episodes. Here’s the link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6384353052131328
password: HoNeSt Name of Story: 6 Months Author Hannah Friend Shory Description Simon Hale is paralyzed from the waist down. Now you have to be his caretaker for the next 6 months.) Story Card:
Author: Ava. S Story Name: Love, Hate Description:
Liam Johnson is a famous boy band leader. Because of an “accident.” , he switches bodies with a GIRL?!?!?! Is this an arrangement of fate? Will they fall in love with each other? Cover:
App Description:
You’ve got quite the reputation in your city, but what happens when your soulmate is the biggest baddie in the whole country.Who gets to dominate and rule the game?[CHOICES MATTER]
Story name: still strong
Author name: lyraE
A successful athlete and a CEO. A former quarterback; now her manager. Their worlds aren’t as different as they thought… Or will they both drown in their own darkness?LGBT+option
Link: Episode Writer Portal
Tysm!!
I am sorry but I can’t read stories that are unpublished yet (really sorry) I don’t have internet on my phone but when you publish it please let me know and I will read it.
Name of Story: i-Humanoids Author: Hazel J Shory Description (Cuz no one has got time to read a hella long description): With the increasing cases of missing people in the metropolis, you can trust no one. But can you trust a mysterious non-entity whom for all the while you thought is a human?
-Grammar (8/10) Good grammar nothing really wrong, speech seemed flat sometimes though
-Storyline (6/10) I really like the plot and it seems really original but maybe work on slowing things down a little, you have tried to cram a lot of major things into 3 episodes.
-Engagingness (7/10) Good engaging story (only thing that annoyed me was the intro because it was kinda long, but that doesn’t really affect it
-Directing (7/10) Directing was pretty good, some places I think need changing such as scenes with cars when it looks like they are running over people, but overall not bad
-Choices (If you have some) (2/10) As far as I can remember there aren’t any and you should add some for an engaging story.
-Character Development (5/10) I think you went for very cliche ideas, like how Simon is super moody and the mum is stuck up posh but yeah, it’s your story so your choice how you present characters
Overall Score (6/10) Good things
I like how your story (not like many on the app) includes more diverse characters such as a “disabled” character
I think its good how you said where you were from
I like how some of it is focused on the little brother Could be better things
In the first scene when you are customizing, you should zoom in more on the characters face so you can see them better because it is quite small to be able to look at eye shape and colour and things like that.
You told the reader very much about your life from the start, you should use show not tell
A lot of the backgrounds that are not episode backgrounds are very blurry and pixelated
Quite Cliche characters
Episodes are very short, when writing I aim for around 3000 lines (excluding customisation) so maybe try to be around that they have a better episode length because when they are short it can throw the reader off and make them less likely to read your story.
If you have any questions let me know,
Name of Story: Necromancers LL Author Madhu Shory Description (Cuz no one has got time to read a hella long description) Eve and Zeke are the last Necromancers. Demons ravel. Truths to be told. One big mistake can change everything in a few seconds. Remember, it’s just the beginning of the end…
Hello @Avags123! Thanks for creating this thread and reviewing our stories!
I would love to hear what you think of my story as well, please go ahead and go as brutal as you like I especially would love to hear any recommendations on how to improve especially for my first episode?
Name of Story: Call of Duty Author Katherine Evans Shory Description (Cuz no one has got time to read a hella long description)
Isabella has been assigned as an undercover agent to arrest a crime lord. With a materialistic, rich, and arrogant bad boy as her partner, can she succeed? [cc] Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5281177222316032 Story Card if you have one (If you don’t have one it’s ok)
I first wanna just to say that your story is awesome!!!
-Grammar 10/10 - I saw no errors
-Storyline 8/10 - Very straight to the point, could do with slightly more context in the first episode though about why she is there but otherwise great
-Engagingness 9/10 - Really amazing story had me gripped and I can’t wait to read more
-Directing 7/10 Really great directing that was quite advanced, I liked how you used lots of overlays to make it more your own.
-Choices (If you have some) 7.5/10 Maybe could do with some more choices (like one or two more an episode)
-Character Development 7/10 - Quite a cliche but I like how she doesn’t fall for Liam staright away (she probs will but nvm)
-Speech 7/10 - Very much like a normal conversation Overall score is8/10 What is good
-Points system
-Directing (really good)
-Customising available at the start of all episode
-Customizing screen is really cool
-Epibook minigame was awesome!!! What could do with some improvement
-The dressing games have quite similar outfits for Liam (Avery’s body)
-Avery is always so much smaller than the guys (represent a tall girl for once )
Kind of confused about this though
I just want to know why the black characters are the only ones who can have this, kind of confused but I’m open to hearing why.
I especially would love to hear any recommendations on how to improve especially for my first episode?
honey 
I just copied the script that the person who made it :3