Hi everybody, I have directed, coded and read quite a lot of stories so I think I will be able to give honest reviews on your stories. If you would like for me to do a brutally honest (If that’s not your thing I recommend you go somewhere else) review on your story then please read the rules below and fill out the form.
If this flops then it never happened!!!
Use the password HoNeSt and blur it out
Be kind to everybody on the thread
Use the form
Don’t rush me, I will finish it when I finish it
Name of Story:
Shory Description (Cuz no one has got time to read a hella long description)
Story Card if you have one (If you don’t have one it’s ok)
How I will be reviewing it
First I will rate it in these categories out of 10
-Choices (If you have some)
Then I will give you an overall score out of 10
Then I will put specific details of what I think is good and what I think could do with some improvement.
If there is a certain part of it that could be improved I will put a screenshot on your review so you know what part.
This is an example review from @hannahfriend 's story
Good story would definitely recommend it!
Name of Story: 6 Months
Author Hannah Friend
Shory Description Simon Hale is paralyzed from the waist down. Now you have to be his caretaker for the next 6 months.)
Quick disclaimer, this is hannahfriends story card and I’m just including it so you can read the story if that’s what you like
-Grammar (8/10) Good grammar nothing really wrong, speech seemed flat sometimes though
-Storyline (6/10) I really like the plot and it seems really original but maybe work on slowing things down a little, you have tried to cram a lot of major things into 3 episodes.
-Engagingness (7/10) Good engaging story (the only thing that annoyed me was the intro because it was kinda long, but that doesn’t really affect it)
-Directing (7/10) Directing was pretty good, some places I think need changing such as scenes with cars when it looks like they are running over people, but overall not bad
-Choices (If you have some) (2/10) As far as I can remember there aren’t any and you should add some for an engaging story.
-Character Development (5/10) I think you went for very cliche ideas, like how Simon is super moody and the mum is stuck up posh but yeah, it’s your story so your choice how you present characters
Overall Score (6/10)
I like how your story (not like many on the app) includes more diverse characters such as a “disabled” character
I think it’s good how you said where you were from
I like how some of it is focused on the little brother
Could be better things
In the first scene when you are customizing, you should zoom in more on the characters face so you can see them better because it is quite small to be able to look at eye shape and colour and things like that.
You told the reader very much about your life from the start, you should use show not tell
A lot of the backgrounds that are not episode backgrounds are very blurry and pixelated
Quite Cliche characters
Episodes are very short, when writing I aim for around 3000 lines (excluding customisation) so maybe try to be around that they have a better episode length because when they are short it can throw the reader off and make them less likely to read your story.
If you are on the waitlist the I will read your story
1)@Callme_80 -In Progress-
When published waitlist