Honest review thread **open**

opinion

#1

Hey guys! I’m happy to say I’m starting a review thread. I’ll be reviewing 3 episodes of your story.
Please read the Rules and How I Will Be Reviewing up there first before posting your story on here

How I Will Be Reviewing

I will review based on:
First impression
Your characters
Actual story part of it
Directing
How I felt about it overall.
What I think the story needs/doesn’t need or any extra details

Rules

I need you to tell me the story name
The author
A short story description
The cover if you have one
What you want me to focus on in the review or extra things you want me to pay attention to… etc…
A story link (I use my laptop for this- not the actual app, so I don’t usually use the link unless I can’t find your story- or you’re not finished)
And lastly if you would like me to give you a number score for your story
IMPORTANT I like to feel like you respect the thread so I’d like you to follow the rules and not just copy and paste your story description that you put on other review threads (there’s nothing wrong with that) - but I want to feel like you’re reading this part and taking your time to talk about your story- because that makes it seem like you want a review and care about what I’m going to say. I’ll still review your story if you do that, but you won’t be getting the best review because these rules are in your story’s and your best interest.

If I get a lot of people requesting I’ll make a waiting list. Please be patient, I want to make good reviews and that takes time. I like to do it in my own time and make the best review possible, so please be patient. It makes me feel like I have to rush when you ask me to get to yours faster. BUT if I haven’t gotten back to you in like a month or something please feel free to talk to me about it.
There may be some spelling mistakes in the review- it probably will be long and I probably won’t pay attention to grammar in some places.
I’m not a PROFESSIONAL or anything like that- I just want to help out some fellow writers on here because I’ve been on episode for a while now. And the review is just my opinion and I can be a bit blunt sometimes. If you don’t like the review that’s fine! It’s your story- you can make the changes I suggested to it or not make the changes. Like I said, it’s just mainly my opinion.


#2

Hi thanks for adding me to this thread! I hope you enjoy my story :blush::blush:


#3

Up Next For A Review

  1. DEMIGODDESS - gisellec
  2. From This Day Forward - goth.gaia
  3. My Mysterious Lover - Laura_Episode1

Waiting List

  1. Girl Of Deception - IDONTKNOWREAL

#4

HEY!!:grin:

Can I get one?

HERE’S THE INFO!!

Story Name: DEMIGODDESS

Author Name: Giselle Crescent

Genre: Fantasy

Description: Being the daughter of Zeus isn’t easy. Add responsibilities and your mother having cancer topped on with a forbidden temptation to a boy who can rock your world , literally. CC

Small Cover:
5242e4c65aad4dc4eaa16195e5918d47b926391f_1_323x500-2

Large Cover:
78db2eb2c8938e3cb31cac097f4217fbc58fb39a_1_690x492

LINK:

Also, I would like a verbal review rather than a number review beaut!


#5

Ok! Will do!


#6

Thank you so much!!


#7

Could you review my story pretty please? :grin:

Title: From This Day Forward
Author: goth.gaia
Description: After your disastrous wedding day, you decide to start fresh: new city, new you, no drama- or so you hoped. Will you say “I do” to the chaos or leave it at the altar? CC
Cover:

What I’d like you to focus on: I’d really just like some constructive feedback. Nothing too specific! It’d also be cool if you could let me know if there are any errors that I may have missed.

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5073385564536832

A number score would be nice, but I’d prefer verbal!

Thank you so much!


#8

Hello! Thanks so much for reviewing our stories! It means the world to us! Can you please review my story? It would mean the absolute world to me!
Here’s the info!

Story Name: My Mysterious Lover

Author Name: Laura_Episode

Genre: Mystery/Romance

**Description:**After Annabelle’s best friend is murdered, her and a group of friends team up to discover who did this crime. Follow these group of friends who discover secrets, and romance.

Small Cover:

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6645480947056640

Thank you so much again! I would also love to have a verbal review if possible! Thank you again boo!:heart::heart:


#9

Hi! Thank you for creating this thread, it would be amazing if you could review my story! This is greatly appreciated :smile:
Here’s my story:
Name: Girl Of Deception
Description: Aria Lamar has is all. She’s rich, beautiful and smart. But she’s an arrogant jerk and has no compassion. Little does she know that’s all about to change.
Genre: Adventure
Btw: My cover is different, this one is being approved by episode at the moment.


#10

Review of: Trapped
First Impression:

  • The cover looks pretty cool, it already has me interested in the story. I know you said that you have a new cover coming, but this one still looks pretty good. I really like the lighting the most- it makes it look cool even though it’s kind-of a basic cover.

The story description: Your parents chuck you into Bellthorne Academy- a boarding school for only the richest. There, you meet a stranger who assigns you on a mission for millions of dollars. CC

  • I like how you used chuck in the first line of the description- it shows that they kinda forced her to go without her consent. And I also love the second line- it sounds so mysterious.

  • a boarding school for only the richest - this is just my opinion, but I think that you could’ve worded that differently because it doesn’t really sound right. Maybe: A school only the rich can afford
    Or: A prestigious boarding school for only the richest of kids.

  • A good first impression. Ok, it made me interested, I click to to view the first episode.

Characters

Rio

From the first episode I can tell she’s nice- and kind of bratty at the same time…
Like the scene where she saw her best friend’s crush- I kinda got the vibes that she was nice and mean at the same time. Mean because I feel like this is going to cause some problems later in the story…
I feel like you could show her personality a little more. Maybe show her feelings about the academy and why she wouldn’t like it. I also think it would help to have her look back on the days with her other friends before she had to leave for the academy.

Alexa

She seems like a great friend. I like how you really made her have her own personality. At first I thought
she’d become a fake friend to her or something- but I was convinced of their friendship by the end of episode 2.

I like her relationships with the guy characters. The student-teacher relationship just seems too cliche. I wouldn’t have them start flirting until they get to know each other. It doesn’t make sense at that time, since Rio wants to be on her best behavior.
I love the relationship she has with Ryan, he cares about her and is really nice. I feel pretty bad that he’s going to get broken by her in future episodes- (Maybe- I’ll have to see)
I like Grace. She is a great antagonist. Make sure she’s the villain around them and not the main characters.

Directing
I have noticed a few places where the characters are too big or are floating. There was an episode where they were sitting almost under the table. You should definitely look back on those places.
The choices didn’t really feel like they mattered- but the story part of it made up for it. If you’re having trouble with choices, there are a ton of help threads for that. You could always message me- I know a thing or two about some choices. But until you get the hang of it- I’d suggest taking some of those unessecary choices out of your episodes, so you can get the hang of it and your viewers won’t feel like their choices don’t matter.

First Episode Review

Message in the beginning:

  • It’s good that you put that it’s a pilot episode and that it’ll be a little short. But- is this the only pilot episode- or are there a few more? Some authors put 3- I feel like you should either say: This is the pilot episode or this is 1 of 2/3 pilot episodes. Just to make it a little more clear

  • The next message could make some viewers stop reading. People don’t like when authors say: This is my first story or I’m new at this so please excuse… It’s just better not to say anything like that. Yes, people on the forums have said these things so I want to warn you about it. I would continue reading though. I love the next message! Some authors don’t say that it might be our only chance to customize, and that personally really annoys me.

Introduction:

  • Instead of putting * angry knocking on door * I would try to find a sound of knocking on a door- if you can’t find that, I think a sound of something falling would suffice.

  • When they come in- she doesn’t look afraid and I feel like she should be. I feel like she should walk to her spot while they’re walking, maybe have them walk in faster because them walking in normally/slowly doesn’t suit the * angry knocking on door *

  • I liked the line: Let’s go back to when this all started, about two years ago…

The next scenes- end of intro

  • “We just clicked and were inseparable ever since.” More Show Than Tell what that basically means is: If you can show it to the viewers and not describe it- it’s better to show it. Also: If you’re going to be describing their friendship like that have the narrator say it- it’s unrealistic that Rio would say it.

  • “Hey mom.” I had to read the story again to find out that that was a scene in the past that Rio was looking back on. If that is a past scene- don’t keep her in the same clothes, maybe put a filter on it to make it really look like a past scene, or have a reader message or narrator saying: A few days ago…

  • In the scene where you have a choice to go to a party or stay home- I feel like there could be more interesting stuff that happens. Maybe something that happens at both the party and at home.

  • After that- there are a few scenes where you have to SHOW MORE TELL LESS

  • The first episode is supposed to show are start to show what’s in the description- I never met that mysterious billionaire in the first episode.

Episode 2

  • I liked that you had a lot more drama going on in the 2nd episode.

  • In the scene where Grace and the girls are arguing- I got more of a bullying vibe off the main characters- more than the antagonist. I got that vibe when they called her “a freak” I understand that you want to make clear that Gracie is not the brightest- but you shouldn’t have characters shame another character’s whole personality and NOT have Grace be affected by it or get sad, angry or seriously offended. At that point I felt pretty bad for her, and viewers shouldn’t be feeling that right? It’s good drama, but if you want the main characters to come off as nice, you can’t let them rise to her level.

  • I loved how you rose above that cliche of girl meets nice guy- I was SUPER surprised to find him straight up mean and cruel.

  • The ending made me want to continue reading. I have seen that kind of stuff like friends getting into fights over misunderstandings a lot on episode, so maybe you might want to change that if you don’t want to use something over-used. Maybe have her actually kiss him- or have her get mad that her best friend doesn’t trust her.

  • I liked the humor with the teacher! :joy: :rofl: If possible though- I’d make it more humorous- like the whole class goes out of control and the teacher doesn’t know what to do!

Episode 3

  • I love that you skip to two years at the academy.

  • I like the drama with Grace! I love her character! She’s making me so angry right now! Viewers will be hooked on scenes with suspense and drama like the scene of her sabotaging Rio.

  • Slightly psychotic, scary, and rude, but no one’s perfect Ok, that’s now my favorite line

  • Yep I’ve been counting the months… another really good line!

  • The drama with the money and the stranger- I’m curious to what she’ll do! That’s the most original thing about your story!!!

  • It’s a bit cliche how you made her the bad girl, but it makes sense with the plot.

Overall
The episodes get better and better. The third one with the story line really as that wow factor that audiences get hooked on. That should’ve been in the first episode so you could get viewers to continue. To make the first episode better, I’d recommend putting in the boss talking with Rio about what she has to do and then go to the story, viewers will be wondering about that guy, and the other guys. I understand that it’s kinda hard to start drama on the first episode especially since it’s not meant for much drama yet. That’s why I’d put the boss talking with Rio as the introduction for the first episode. This story seems like it’s a drama- not a romance. There is so much drama going on, I really think that’s the main plot and that romance is a big subplot. I really think you need to make a few changes on the first episode so viewers can really get hooked.

Would I Continue Reading?
Yes! I loved that last third episode, it had drama, and a ton of suspense.


#11

I can do a number score with the verbal if you’d like, and yes, I will just focus on giving you constructive honest feedback.


#12

Sounds good!


#13

:blush::+1:


#14

Story name: Choose?!!!
Author: @ya
Description:
You aren’t a superhero, nor have magical powers! Just a wrong wish of your’s , causes Fate of whole human race to be in your’s hands!!! Will you Succeed or face defeat?? (2 ends)
What you want to focus: grammer
Link:


Number score: sure
Thanks for doing these :blush:


#15

Thanks so much for the review- there was so much feedback!!

Yes, I’ll definitely go back to episode 1 and clean up the directing and also add in a scene with Rio and Boss right at the beginning with the other flashback.

With the directing, this is my first story (as u know) so I’m still getting used to it, but I’m definitely going to go back and fix it using my newly aquired spot directing skills to make sure they’re not too big/floating/under the table!! Sorry about that! Even I thought it was quite annoying but I didn’t know how to fix it (now I do.) :joy:

I’ll take a look at changing the: a boarding school for only the richest- bit because I really like your idea of a ‘prestigious school for the rich’ etc (you have really great ideas)

I also like how you commented on some of my dialogue saying that you liked some of the lines :joy::joy: thank you!

I hope you enjoyed my story! Thanks for the amazing review- it was really constructive!

:blush::blush:


#16

Story title: H & V:Taming Him (CC)
Author’s Name: UnknownSnowFlake
Genre: Romance and Action
Story style: INK
Description of the story: You just find out that you’ve been betrothed to a sexy yet callous billionaire. But there’s just one problem. You’re a vigilante, and he’s trying to kill you.
Number of episodes: 6 [ONGOING]
Instagrams: @episode_snowflake
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6155554812329984

Cover:


#17

Hey there,
I would love if you could read the first chapters of my story.

Author: LeaHol
Name: Living With Wolves
Description: Claire seems to be a normal girl like you and me. However, she is to discover that she wasn’t meant to live this live from the beginning. Read and find out who she really is.
Genre: Fantasy


Thanks a bunch, even if you can’t make it.

Lots of love,
LeaHol


#18

Hello! It looks like you’re pretty busy with reviews at the moment but I would really appreciate it if you put my story on your waiting list. Thanks!

Title: The Kingdoms
Author: Peached Pie
Genre: Fantasy
Teaser: Lauren is heir to the human throne, the weakest of the 7 kingdoms. Will she be able to prove her strength in helping the supernatural realms, or will they all fall?
FYI: My cover art is still under review for episode!


#19

I’m glad! I’m always afraid that my reviews are going to offend someone because of the honesty! Thanks for your feedback! It really means a lot.


#20

Up Next For A Review

  1. DEMIGODDESS - gisellec
  2. From This Day Forward - goth.gaia
  3. My Mysterious Lover - Laura_Episode1

Waiting List

  1. Girl Of Deception - IDONTKNOWREAL
  2. H & V: Taming Him (CC) - UnknownSnowFlake
  3. Living With Wolves - LeaHol
  4. The Kingdoms - Peached Pie

Hey guys! Thanks for submitting! Don’t worry, I’m happy to review and will eventually get to yours!