Hey DrJoje,
I’m going to start off kind of harsh (sorry) and say I hate your title. I see stockholm syndrome and I’m like NOPE. Is there a reason it’s not just called the broken one? Anyway, I’m not going to force you to rename your whole story, but something to consider is that there are a lot of people like me who will judge a book based off it’s cover, or in this case the name, and you could be missing out on reads because of it
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Jane’s first spot where she is sitting it looks like she’s sitting on air, maybe move her higher so she’s sitting on the car?
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I think a few of the characters move from one spot to the next a little too quickly. It would be a really tedious task, but worth it, if you went back and adding the seconds in to make their time walking look more natural.
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I’m already getting the feeling that it’s not a typical case of Stockholm syndrome, so again, I think your title is turning away readers because they would jump to assumptions
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This is not really a big deal, more of a personal thing, so I understand if you don’t change it because it’s probably a habit, but I notice you put a space before question marks and exclamation marks… I’ve literally lost friendships and even broken up with someone because they did that in their texts lol. So yeah, it’s painful to my eyes
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So I’m at the end of episode 1, and I’m going to take a guess that she’s now the kidnapper and Liam is going to fall in love with her, hence the title. And I am here for it. There’s a twist and I’m actually really interested now in seeing if I’m right about that theory
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Just a note before I start 2, is that it would be nice to see a bit of backstory between Liam and Jane. Especially because her uncle seemed to think it was weird for her to call him Liam. So was that because they had had conversations in the past? Had he opened up to her? I would have liked to see a little something in the first episode along those lines
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Episode 2 when you have the 4 women outside, it’s a little awkward because there’s four of them but only one can talk, so the rest are frozen in a pose from whatever the last thing they said was. Either animate them to do non-talking animations, or use some close-up zooms on the characters when they’re talking so we don’t see the others frozen
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Your episodes are a little on the short side, but you cover enough information that it’s ok. I do feel like I’m really paying attention too because I’m trying to figure out who tf is Liam and how they’re all connected, so you’re doing a great job at the mystery side of things and building suspense
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How is Jane actually controlling Liam? Is this going to be looked into further as I read on
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Careful with characters sliding on screen. Wait until they fully enter before making them talk
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I love the scenes with Carl and how the uncle/boss goes all smiley when he’s about to lose it.
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It was nice to see more of Liam and Jane in episode 4 and 5 I feel like I got some answers.
I’m ending there, because it’s late where I am and there’s no way I’m going to get to episode 16 right now, but I’m interested enough to read on. Please take into consideration the name change though!