Honest Story Reviews: ALL GENRES! (CLOSED!)

Hello, everyone.
I created this Topic in order to help newcomers with their stories. Personally, I enjoy reading stories that heavily include the fantasy, action, adventure and drama genres. I will therefore create this thread for people to post their stories, and in return receive a star rating in addition to an honest description for the rating.
Note that I will only do three stories at once, which means that if three stories have been recommended beforehand, and I have not commented after the third person has recommended, I will not continue reviewing. Therefore, please wait until I have reviewed the three stories before you recommend your own.
This is done in order to make it easier to structurize the thread.
Thank you very much.
Note that the reviewing process will result on the features provided beneath this sentence:
Impactful Choices/Choices in general: Scale from 0-10
Grammar and Vocabulary: Scale from 0-10
Directing and the addition of overlays: Scale from 0-10
Plot and storytelling: Scale from 0-10
Character development: Scale from 0-10
Diversity: Scale from 0-10
In addition, there will be minor features that will be included in the review process:
Different backgrounds, overlays, etc.: Scale from 0-5
Chapter Length: Scale from 0-5
Creativity: Scale from 0-5
Story description: Scale from 0-5
Story cover(s): Scale from 0-5
A message will be posted once the three first stories have been reviewed
Anyone that posts their stories before the stories above have been reviewed will be ignored.
This is to prevent an illogical and long thread/topic.
Thank you very much!


You may use this format for your story:
Story Title:
Number of episodes:
Description of the Story
Link to the story itself

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story title: Forever and a Day
Number of Episodes: 3 (more coming)


Description: Their love ran deep, Forever and a Day they’d say. Who knew it was only temporary, certainly not Deja and Foster.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5002523768324096

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I saw that it’s only been two stories. So here’s mine. Ty for this!
Story Title: Remnant Past (LL)
Number of episodes: 4
Description of the Story: Lucy’s life takes a drastic turn after an incident that occurred in the past. Sent to New York, she tries to adjust to her new self but that proves difficult. Very difficult.
Link to the story itself: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4667930276331520

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Impactful Choices/Choices in general: Scale from 5/10. The reader can choose their outfits, nothing more than that. Some writers enjoy writing their stories from their personal point of views, and I can relate to you not using impactful choices. However, you are still giving the reader the choice of clothing.

Grammar and Vocabulary: Scale from 5/10. Grammar is mostly correct, but the punctuation should be improved. For instance, in the first chapter, Layla says “Mum stop lying to me!, what’s wrong ?!”. The thing with this sentence is that you are including an exclamation mark followed by a comma. At the end of the sentence, you have a space between the word “wrong” and the question mark followed by another exclamation mark. The vocabulary is not refreshing and you are repeating the same words multiple times. You use curse words, which gives the story emotion. You should not have spaces before commas or other forms of punctuations. Another example of the incorrect punctuation is “Hey Layla”. This should be rewritten to “Hey, Layla.”

Directing and the addition of overlays: Scale from 4/10. I understand that you are new to the Episode writing portal, but the directing needs to be improved in several aspects. Primarily, conversations and dialogue becomes less interesting when you are always using the same zooms. You should try panning the camera to the model who is talking at that given time. Moreover, you are still using overlays, which gives you a little bonus. You use background characters, which adds onto your points.

Plot and storytelling: Scale from 4/10. The storytelling is fine, with the Mother and her daughter showing real emotion throughout the very first chapter of your story. I expect a writer to make a clear statement as to what the plot will be in the first chapter. Nonetheless, I do not exactly understand the plot of the story after reading its first chapter, resulting in me not wanting to continue reading it. A story should be developed within its first chapter.

Character development: Scale from 6/10. The development of characters is excellent in some departments in the story. Some feelings and beliefs of the main character’s point of view are repetitive, but still, you are developing your main character in an alright matter. Try to work more on expressing her feelings to the readers by connecting her past to her present self.

Diversity: Scale from 8/10. Your story on the Episode app includes diverse characters from different origins. This creates a more realistic feel to the story, seeing as there are people of different cultures and ethnicities in every single country.

Different backgrounds, overlays, etc.: Scale from 4/5. Gorgeous and appealing backgrounds are used. Overlays, however, can be used somewhat more. Overall, great backgrounds are used thoroughly throughout the story’s first chapter.

Chapter Length: Scale from 5/5. The chapter length is not too short, nor too long, which gives it a 5/5 score.

Creativity: Scale from 3/5 . The first thing that comes to mind when I think about creativity is the use of music. Sound and music are important to create a creative energy in the story, but you are mismatching some of the music. With that being said, I am trying to point out that you may be using illogical music at the wrong time. Nonetheless, the fact that you are using music and sound, makes me more interested in the story.

Story description: Scale from 3/5. An interesting story description, to say the least. I like the fact that you are basing the description on just one sentence. However, there should be less punctuation in some places of the sentence, and punctuation on other places. “You thought Ansel Reynolds was a cure for your pain, but instead, he’s there to cause more trouble, be careful hunny.” You initial and original description’s last comma can be changed to a “.”.

Story cover(s): Scale from 2/5 The story cover is without a doubt different from others. You are using a more paint-like version of a cover, which is good, but the faces look somewhat unrealistic when it comes to the shapes of the faces. Nonetheless, it is a mediocre cover, and that is totally fine, because it is the story that we want to read.

Total score: 49/85

Star rating: :star: :star: :star:

Ah thank you so much, I really appreciate your honest comments I will make improvements thank you xx !

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You are very welcome! Have a nice day.

Thank you for taking your time to read my story and you too xx

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Hi! Would love to get a review from ya :hugs:

Tittle: Agent 66: Born to Kill (CC)
Author: xoRoséxo
Style: Limelight
Genre: Action
Chapters: 5
Description: Agent 66 is an infamous assassin. But when a mission gone wrong, 66 kidnaps Sasha - his possible witness, and sets to discovers the truth before it’s too late.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4722588854321152
Instagram: xoroses.episode

Story Title:
Total Control _ rise
Number of episodes:
6 out of 15
Description of the Story
This version of the story narrates the main story. I wanted to explain the events leading up to where the main story would begin.

A live tv interview with a talented young artist and a group of her high school friends are interviewed by a reporter. They speak about the events that took place during their time at school. A chaotic period where constant fights take place, students disrespect other students as well as teachers, the level of education has severely decreased and drug abuse. All this cause by one person and the your artist known as Shinee must take control of the school with the help of her friends and other leaders of interior gangs and change the state of her once great school.

A total on 9 schools in three different districts. Some are allies and others ar enemies. A war is taking place and Shinee must command her group accordingly to atain peace between all.

Every story has an avatar for the reader. I’ve planned for approximately 8 -10 stories regarding the same topic. 4 different school stories which shows the come up of each avatar for that school which also connects with the main story and others through multiple perspectives, 4 character short stories which shows life outside of school which also connects with the main story and the 2nd main story which shows the period where after the reader’s avatar has attained leadership now has to command against enemy schools.

Link to the story itself

Impactful Choices/Choices in general: 7/10. The addition of impactful choices gives your story review a plus-point. Personally, and according to a survey taken a couple of days ago, readers love stories that include impactful choices. Nonetheless, I spent some time reading the story before the first impactful choice showed up. The importance of the choices were not really that captivating for the reader, but the important thing to notice is that you spent time coding impactful choices. Nonetheless, using choices that later may return to the favor of the main character involves the reader further into the story, which already is well written.

Grammar and Vocabulary: 6/10. In the first chapter, there is frequent use of misunderstood grammar. You continuously write “cant” instead of “can’t” or “cannot”, which makes the reader less captivated and enthusiastic about your story. Moreover, your language and vocabulary is basic. This does not mean that your story is less interesting, it just means that you chose to use an easier vocabulary. There is not nothing much to pinpoint about the use of punctuation, because it mostly used correctly. In the first chapter, you write; “I’ll just put my hair up” without adding punctuation at the end of the sentence. A survey has showed that readers refrain themselves from reading stories if the grammar is inconsistent, which results in people not wanting to continue reading the story if it has problems grammatically. The problem with the punctuation can be seen thoroughly throughout the story, especially when the main character is thinking. In addition, you write “You’re room is on the second floor, duh”. This should be rewritten to “Your room is on the second floor, duh.” Another example of the incorrect punctuation is “Goodnight dearest”. This should be rewritten to “Goodnight, dearest.”

Directing and the addition of overlays: 7/10. The directing in your story is brilliant. Your story is vibrant and the dialogue and conversations are interesting because you use frequent zooms and panning of the “camera”. However, I need to subtract some of the points because you are refraining yourself from using overlays throughout your story. In addition, I really like that you are using the directing to your advantage, and it feels as though you are succeeding in the experimentation of directing. You use overlays in the bedsheets, which shows that you are fully capable of directing a story.

Plot and storytelling: 8/10. The plot and the storytelling is without a doubt amazing. A well-written story contains flashbacks and interpretations of the past, something you excel in adding. This creates a stronger bond between a reader and the main character, which is something not many authors are capable of doing. In addition, you have written a well-thought out story with a brilliant plot. Romance plots are usually disinteresting, but it palpable (obvious) that you have spent time figuring out a story. Very well done.

Character development: 9/10. Character development is difficult to master, but it seems as though you have done your research on your characters. The addition of flashbacks and narration of a character’s past adds to your points. It explains the story further to the reader, making the characters relatable and believable. Telling and showing emotion is an important factor to captivate a reader, and you excel in doing just that. Our past may not define our future, but it is an important feature to add to a story. Well done in this department, too!

Diversity: 7/10. The diversity in this story is just enough to give you a score of seven. The characters in the story seems to be of different origins, which makes the story more believable rather than just including people of the same origins and skin-color. You include gay mothers, which is another point of giving you a score of 7.

Different backgrounds, overlays, etc.: 3/5 I like the story, but the overused backgrounds and the lesser used overlays refrains the reader from fully enjoying the story. Your backgrounds have already been used in plenty of other stories in the Episode app, which does not show that you are using your creativity fully. Nonetheless, this is totally fine, seeing as some writers are more focused on writing the story itself rather than spending time on backgrounds and overlays creation. If you add more decent backgrounds, I am quite sure that you, yourself will enjoy writing your story more, too.

Chapter Length: 5/5. It is palpable that you are enjoying writing on this platform. Personally, your story has the perfect length. You add the elements and scenes necessary to understand the plot as well as the story without creating overly long chapters. Perfect!

Creativity: 4/5. Nothing much to point out on your creativity, because the story description, the story cover and the addition of music accumulates to an excellent showing of your creativity. In addition, at the beginning of each chapter, you include a short amount of time to introduce the chapter. Additionally, you use several genres combined. You combine romance with drama as well as comedy. This is a common combination of genres, but you still show diversity in your creativity by combining these genres. Good!

Story description: 4/5. You are doing an amazing job with the first impressions. The story description does not tell the reader much about the story itself, which is why I took away a point. Nonetheless, it is brief and captivates the reader for the journey ahead of them.

Story cover(s): 4/5 . As soon as I had searched the title of your story, I was in awe of the beautiful art that you have used as a cover. Personally, I think that including the story title in its cover is a nice touch. The addition of the stars and the moon is brilliant. Overall, an excellent looking cover which draws the reader to your story.

Total score: 64/85
Star rating: :star: :star: :star: 3/4
Very close to a 4-star. Added it to my favorites!

Grammar and Vocabulary: 6/10. Your grammar is somewhat fine, but at times, it can become illogical and takes away from an OK story. Nonetheless, the punctuation is incorrect at times, which needs to be improved for the reader to fully acknowledge and understand the story.

Directing and the addition of overlays: 7/10. Fine directing, nothing of relevance to point out.

Plot and storytelling: 5.5/10. Try to connect the storytelling and the plot more for the reader to understand. It can be difficult to understand at points of the first chapter. Nonetheless, a brilliant plot with less distinguishable storytelling.

Character development: 6/10. The development of the characters is somewhat better that the story itself, which can seem somewhat difficult to understand from the reader’s point of view. Nonetheless, you are doing a fine job of developing the characters by involving and including emotional parts of their stories.

Diversity: 7/10. The story includes characters of different origins. Well done!

Different backgrounds, overlays, etc.: 4/5. The story indulges an array of backgrounds that have been used before, but still fit the scene of the story. Overlays are not used as much as a reader would accept.

Chapter Length: 4/5. Somewhat long chapters. If you managed to cut out some of the scenes, or add them onto the next chapter, it would make an impactful difference for the reader. Nonetheless, an alright length to the chapters.

Creativity: 3/5. I can obviously spot that you are doing an excellent job of incorporating many creative features throughout your story. The music is the main feature that I focus on throughout reading a story, and the music is thoroughly used. In addition to the music, I heavily rely on other parts in a story. For instance, you are using a different cover for each episode once you enter it, which is amazing. The music can be somewhat repetitive, seeing as there is not an array of sounds or music to choose between, but it is your job as an author to incorporate the music and blend it into the scene. Overall, an alright use of your creativity.

Story description: 4/5. In all honesty, the reader feels ready to read the story as soon as they have finished reading the description. Personally, I think that you managed to write a captivating description without spoiling anything for the reader. It was well-written, using simple, yet affective vocabulary. Good!

Story cover(s): 3.5/5. Personally, from eyeing the cover art, I do not feel entirely captivated on reading the story. The cover is very simplistic, but still shows a clear message. I like the addition of the letters that spell the title of the story. The added effect beneath the girl’s eyes is a nice touch to the story cover. Everyone has their own skills and their own budgets, and that is why I am giving you the benefit of the doubt by giving you a 3.5 on the story cover.

Total Points: 43/75
Star Rating: :star: :star: :star:

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You may proceed with your story suggestions and recommendations now that I have uncovered and reviewed the first three stories. The last added stories will be ignored, seeing as they ignored the fact that I hadn’t reviewed the first three stories.
Continue the story suggestions here:
Have a nice day, and happy writing!

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Hi! I would love a review from you if you get a chance!
I love honest opinions as it only helps us grow!

Title: Mysteria
Episodes: 6 and ongoing!
Description: Dragged into an unknown world, Amara must find her way home.
But with demons, creatures, and a secret destiny, it won’t be as easy as she thought.
(Female LI & All Genres).
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5109558371221504

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Hello! I’d like your review!

I would appreciate it if you gave mine a review if you get a chance :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Title- The Magic’s Death
Author- Neen.k
Description- Who would’ve thought that you, the most unreliable person, would be one of the chosen ones to save the entire universe.
Episode- 3 (ongoing)
Link- http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5401360979460096 treadmill


Deadly Secrets

Genre: Fantasy

Chapters: 8

Description: A vampire loves her. Her best friend’s a Werewolf. Her parents? Magically royal. Only one thing. Delilah doesn’t even know. Her world, is not as she knows. Will she accept fate?

I would like it if some of you added the fitting criteria for the story in order for me to receive some background information about your story. @TamiRose and @Grottino, I must have the necessary information and descriptions of your stories beforehand. Therefore, I must confiscate you permanently, at least until you fill out the criteria about your story. The first one of you to do that, will have their stories reviewed. The other must wait! If you don’t wait, I will ignore your story.
I don’t do this to be rude or to exclude anyone, I am simply doing it for the sake of my own ability of reading. I have other things to do as well, and it would mean a lot if you guys took that into consideration.

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Is that what you mean? My edited response…

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Yes, thank you very much.