Honest Story Reviews : By Katie (CLOSED)


#1

I can review your stories for you and I will be as honest as possible - I will only be reviewing the first chapter.
Please fill out this template if you are interested x

Story Name-
Description-
Author-
Anything you want me to focus on-
Other notes-
Small cover Art-

If you are wondering how i will review your story heres how::

First looks-
I will be looking at your description and cover in this bit. I will be seeing if they make me want to read your story or not and I will tell you how to improve.

Plot-
Is your plot interesting or not? How you can improve.

Directing-
I will see if there are any directing mistakes and tell you how you can improve your scenes. I will also look at your grammar / spelling.

I will review everyone’s story but it may take a while. Sorry
Anything Else:
Is there anything else I noticed about your story? I will also talk about the thing you asked me to focus on.

I will review everyone’s story but it may take a while as quite a lot of people have requested. Sorry :slightly_frowning_face:


#2

Story Name- Video Game Champion
Description- You are a gamer hoping to win the video game championship. Can you defeat your rival after a 5-year losing streak?
Author- Karlon Artis
Anything you want me to focus on- Plot and character development
Other notes- This story has mini-games.
Small cover Art-


#3

Story Name- Cupid’s Arrow: You Cannot Buy My Love
Author- GirlLykAnn
Anything you want me to focus on- Character developement
Other notes- This is a romance / drama / fantasy


#4

Hey, thanks for doing this! Quick side note: I’ve just been through my first chapter myself and noticed a load of directing mistakes. Still point them out, but yes I’m aware it’s not great and I will fix it…

Title: Reformed
Description: Reformed bad girl falls for bad boy who reminds her of her past - cliché, right? But what if Violet isn’t truly reformed? What if she’s secretly still badder than Carter ever was?
Author: Cordelia M
Cover:

Thank you! :blue_heart:


#5

Hey. Thanks for this!

Story Title: Soccer Moms: Blast to the Future
Author Name: Winter05 with Episode Royalty
Style: INK
Genre: Drama
Story Link:


Instagram: winter05.episode

I hope you enjoy my story! :wink:

~ Winter :snowflake:


#6

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Hi! I hope you’d maybe have time to review the first chapter of my story? Please and thank you♥️

Episode Name: Lydia
Author: Syd Ren
Episodes: 3 (More to come)
Genre: Action
Story Style: Limelight
Description: After the passing of her family, Lydia, starts going down a bad path, when a mysterious woman appears in her life, will she find out she gained more than she lost?
Episode Link:


#7

jFirst looks:
I liked the description - it gives me a good understanding to the story and is intriguing enough to make me click. Your small cover is good as a splash but it’s not very exciting and it doesn’t really want to make me click. If you are not very good at editing you can always ask someone here in the forums to make one for you - if you want.

Plot:
Your plot is different and unique! I think that a lot of people will be interested in it as it’s not something that you see very often.

Directing:
When introducing the characters i feel like I was told a lot about how they act - by a narrator - but I personally would have preferred to see it. I think that you should fade scenes out. If you don’t know how to do it here’s how:

@transition fade out black 2

BACKGROUND

@transition fade in black 2

when the MC was talking to Barry he moved up to the front of the screen. the MC did the same but she did it really quickly. I feel like it would have looked better if she did it more slowly. Also Sometimes when the characters were talking I think it would have looked better if it were more zoomed in on them.

Grammar:
I saw that a few commas were there when they shouldn’t have been, other than that I didn’t see any other errors.

Anything Else:
I like how you included the mini game. For the characters I feel like they lack personality. For example i feel like The rival - I named her Ew - is just there to laugh at the MC and be her competition. Also I think the Mc should have other hobbies and interests than video games - i get that’s what the story is about but it shouldn’t be the only thing that she likes.

But overall I do think that this is a good story and i see it going far in the episode app.


#8

Hey, thank you for this.

Story Name: Filling a Void
Description: An experience makes you shut yourself from the world, would you fill the void in you? Or miss the opportunity of a lifetime?
Author: Amber Thompson
Anything you want me to focus on- character development
Small cover art -


#9

Hi, @Katiee_S!

Thank you very much for creating this thread, this is very kind of you! Constructive criticism is exactly what I am looking for!

If you are interested in reading a story with several mini-games and where CHOICES REALLY MATTER then, please, give my story a try. I promise, the story will keep you hooked :blush:

My story details:

Name of story: H & V: Fate
Author: Alex Af
Genre: Thriller
Episodes: 4 (completed)
Summary of story: Young ambitious journalist hunting down a powerful tycoon who has made a fortune based on lies. But who really is a villain here? Choices matter.
Link to story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6548486212681728
Instagram: @episode.alex.af


#10

Hi!
It would be great if you could review my story. :slight_smile:
Title: “Love or Desire”
Author: FieryTenderness
Description: After a tragic incident during an excursion to ancient city Tiamon Tayra noticed some weirdnesses in her body behavior. Will this become an obstacle on her way to the true love?
Genre: Fantasy (but it also contains elements of Mystery and Romance)
Number of episodes: 13 (out of 15)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6274422373220352


#11

Hey everyone!
I’d like to promote my story called Complicated: with Bad Boy and Ugly Duckling here.
Below you can find the information you need to try it out.

Author: Mona K
Story Title: Complicated: with Bad Boy and Ugly Duckling
Genre: Romance, Drama, Action, Comedy
Description: Cathyln is constantly picked on by her peers. Boys make fun of her and her “friends” make her do errands for them. Revenge her peers, betrayers and what if guy changes or not?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4830482803589120
Instagram: @monak.episode

Please make sure to follow me on Instagram to contact me or for sneak peeks of the story!
I’m up for read for reads as well, contact me on Instagram for that, please! :slight_smile: :two_hearts:


#12

Story Name- Good Behaviour
Description- Being independent is all what Silver believed in, “never trust anyone” is her #1 rule, but rules were made to be broken, right?
Author- Elaf

Small cover Art-
good_behavior_posterThumb_SAgmEzbNrN


#13

I will start reading yours now x


#14

first looks:
I liked your cover but it made me think that this was more of a romance story but judging from your first episode I would say it was more of a drama story. The description was good and it did intrigue me.

Plot:
I couldn’t really tell what this story was about. I feel like you should have a main plot in mind and make that the main thing about your story. Right now I couldn’t decide if it was about Holly and Bella (the Mc’s best friend), about cupid playing tricks on everyone or about the MC and her boyfriend. There were a lot of things happening in the first episode so it got kind of confusing.

Directing:
There were a lot of unnecessary zooms. Also a few of the times the zooms were extremely long. I think that you could cut out a few lines where the author is talking as Veiwers want to get straight into the story.
I don’t really like how we could get to create the 2 best friends because i think it just takes up time - other people may like it though, it’s just not my thing.
When you are playing music it would just cut on and off so i think you should make it fade in. Speaking of music after we got to create the characters, when the MC was talking on the phone, I think that you could have chosen a different song because that one doesn’t really fit.
When the MC first talked to her boyfriend i think it would have looked better if they were more in the center of the screen, but if you did that then when holly comes in her and her friends couldn’t stand anywhere… so i think you should zoom into them then when holly comes in you shou.d zoom out.
There were quite a few long pauses.
When Holly poured the drink on the MC she didn’t react. She was still doing the same animation before and it would look better if she did like the shocked animation or something. When Holly and the MC got into a fight o think Holly friends should have reacted more instead of just standing there.
When talking about how the MC and boyfriend would escape the class something went wrong with the speech bubbles because Mason was talking and he said…
NARRATOR katy and then said the text
And then Mason said the next speech bubble.

Anything Else:
I didn’t really understand Bella’s and the MC’s relationship. At first I thought they were friends but at the end it seemed like they hated eachother their whole lives. I feel like there is something off about the MC’s personality. Like she changes it a lot and it’s not very clear. I’m not sure if that’s just me though. Sorry for not explaining it very well. Also the relationships between character are a bit confusing. Like with Holly and Ivy, i’m not sure if they are friends or not and i don’t know what made ivy hate holly so much in the classroom. Same with MC and bella.

Sorry if this sounded a bit harsh/nit picky… :confused:


#15

Hey, thank you so much for all the constructive criticism :wink: I really appreciate it. I’m going to fix the errors.

By the way, I get that a lot, the story is a romance story however the romance forms later, along with explanations for things such as why the best friend and MC dislike each other. :wink:

Could you possibly elaborate? What do you mean about the MC’s personality?


#16

Hey @Katiee_S !

If you have a chance…

I would love a review on my newly published story "The Hole"

Here is my linktree, which has my link…

“https://linktr.ee/episode.shanferg”

STORY NAME: The Hole
DESCRIPTION Jenna’s whole world changes when her boyfriend abuses her and then disappears. In her search for answers, she finds herself in more trouble than she ever imagined possible…
AUTHOR shanferg

(SORRY, I only have my large cover art saved to my desktop because the small cover art is just a cropped version of this…)


#17

I feel like it changes a lot, like I can’t really tell if she is nice or mean, quiet or loud. I get that people react differently in situation but I feel like she reacts very differently in situations. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense x


#18

I will start reading your now x sorry it took so long :purple_heart:


#19

Hi, my name is Dani!
Here’s my story:
Title: Darkness
Author: Dani
Style: Ink
Description: If you can’t get away from darkness, you learn to live with it… A vampire story with action, adventure, mystery and, of course, romance!
This is not a cliche vampire story!
Episodes: 8 (more to come)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5439290271858688
Instagram: daniepisodewriter
I hope you like it :black_heart:


#20

First Looks:
I liked your small cover. It is nicely edited and it does make me want to click. Your large cover is simple but a I think it looks good and fits nicely with your small one. Your description is intriguing and leaves some suspense.

Plot:
So far I am liking the plot and excited to hear more about Violets dark past!

Directing:
When Violet sees Carter the second time I don’t think he should be standing at the back for 1 secend then moving to the front, instead he should just be standing at the front to begin with.
I don’t understand how Carter new Violet was a good girl if he was knew to the school. Unless we find out he knew her before or i might just have missed something.
In the kitchen I think Mel should have walked slower over to Violet.
I feel like he scenes were too short and it went from one place to another quite quickly.
Also this isn’t necessary but i think it would be more interesting if you added some music and sounds, obviously though this is optional.
Other than that I don’t find anything else wrong :grinning:

Anything Else:
I would have preferred it if it were a bit longer as I wasn’t fully hooked at the end. Maybe you could leave it on a cliffhanger or something.

:heart: :purple_heart: :blue_heart: