How to keep the dialogue interesting

I was wondering if you guys could help me out m. Every time I started my story I’m never happy with it. I feel like the dialogue seems bland/boring. This is the cover and description. I screen shotted it to make it easier. Ps credit to @Leanne4590 for the story cover :slight_smile:

This is how my current episode has started

Set the scene: You, Sargent Jones and your partner Liam are on a Train traveling back from the detectives exam.

You: Thank god that is over!

Sargent Jones: Honestly (name) the exam wasn’t that bad. You and Liam did great in there.

You: easy for you to say you’re not the one who had to do it.

Sargent Jone: Maybe not, but I’ve attended no end of these exams with people like you wanting to become detectives. It’s my job to tell them when they have succeeded or not…
Well congratulations detective!

You: wait… did you just call me…

Sargent Jones: Yes I did, like I said you and Liam did great, welcome aboard

Your phones buzzes and it’s your boyfriend

You: Hey Mark!

Mark: Hey babe how’s London?

You: well I didn’t do much sightseeing if that’s what you mean but I passed the detectives exam.

Mark: That’s fantastic! Why don’t I take you out to celebrate. We haven’t spent much time together lately and it does give you the opportunity to dress up.

You: You’re such a gentleman, I should be home soon can you pick me up at 8?

Mark: sure see you soon.

I feel like it’s too bland for a scene?


Sargent, is spelled wrong, so be sure to fix that.

So, maybe as they’re heading back from the exam, their first test as detectives would be to stop a crime that’s happening right in front of them?

Thats a good idea :slight_smile: I like it

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