How to make my story less rushed?

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I want my story to be less choppy and flow better but idk how?
Anyone have tips?

My story if you wanna read it (1 episode)

http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5800354259861504

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Okay I read the first chapter and it was great directing and storyline both but as u said u want a better flow so maybe you can give pause between lines and when they are thinking zoom the particular person. But personally I think it was great and doesn’t need more to it :innocent:.

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