Ok so I read your story I think it is pretty good for a first story. You have a plot, characters, and many scenes that connect so your on the right track.
I will break every element of the story into sections and rate you out of ten for each section.
I believe the plot is simple, and easy to understand. You want to be a doctor and you meet someone there that you are attracted to. And you went on a date with someone at school because he has a crush on you. Although, I believe you jumped to scenes too fast. You stated that you are hate the Niel in the beginning, but then you decided to go on a date straight after. I just thought Anneke could’ve gave in to him like two days after or so. Also I believe you could’ve mention the meeting between Anneke and Dr. Renaud before they went on the meeting because readers will be confused and wouldn’t even know why Anneke is going to the hospital in the first place. A way you can do this is by keeping the meeting in Anneke’s head for a while to portray that she is nervous. I also thought it seemed weird that they meant in a room instead of an office, but if you see it that way I will let it be. Despite all of that, I think Anneke is a lovable character because her sass at times and her attitude towards Niel, and also how she felt the connection between herself and Dr. Renaud.
Not many people use customization, and not many people use meaningful customization. In other words, the customization doesn’t really relate to people. Since I am a person of color, I would look for my details. Like in other stories they don’t have my type of hair, or eye color. BUT YOURS DID! I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. You included all my details and all the things that make me me so I THANK YOU! Also readers would like that.
Choice 10/10: Since you just started I won’t push you to make complicated choices, but your dressing game choices really hit the spot. There were no errors and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ALL THE OUTFITS!
Spelling/Grammar 6/10: I know you are dutch so I won’t penalize you for the mistakes. There were errors, but they didn’t bother me coming from a person who speaks english, and everyone makes mistakes. If you need help with spelling just ask me.
Directing 5/10: The directing was ok in this story. You added background characters which I love because it makes it seem populated and makes it more realistic. But I thought the charcters were a little too tall, and when they left to screen they went back to normal size. That can seem distracting, and will let readers shift off into the directing instead of paying attention to the story. It is your first story, so I don’t expect you to get everything downpact, but I am just giving you room to improve. I can always help you too.
Length 8/10: The length for episode I and 2 were good, but I thought episode 3 was a bit short. Like it was the date only. You can make it longer by showing scenes from Sabine and how she is feeling about Niel or Anneke, but the episode is not that short, so you can leave it as is. At least it is not long because that will make the story seem boring. I also love the cliffhangers because they leave the reader wanting for more. That is a great strategy for pulling readers in, and can help you keep your readers till the end of the story. Like I want to read episode 4:joy:
Overall 44/60 (73%): This was a pretty great story, and people should give it a read. Just shift the plot a bit and you will be fine, and if you need help with the plot just ask me. When I wrote my story, I wrote 3 episodes, then I rewrote them because my plot was not clear so you are not alone.