I created my first story and I would be happy if I would get any feedback

Hi so I posted my first story and I would be so happy if I would get any feedback. So the story is called Love Dance Duel.

If you will read it, please send me feedback.

Will do

I read the 4 chapters and I think the concept is good. There are good choices in the episode such as outfit and CC. I will say though that you may want to draw out the scenes a bit more. For example, put more detail and more emphasis into scenes that are big such as her dad being dead. I think the initial realisation could have been ‘bigger’. I kind of think that it’s slightly underplayed (not to be rude). However, with all this said, I think it’s a good story.

Thanks, I appreciate you read my story, hopefully someone else will do it too. But thanks for advice. :slight_smile:

No problem!

Hello @tiaembersic, I’m Sydney the moderator. Welcome to the forum! :smiley:

I’ve moved this thread to Share Feedback since you’re looking for feedback on your story. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics, and feel to PM me if there are any questions. :wink:


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