I have 5 chapters and I want somebody to review it

Hey guys, maybe we could review each other’s stories but I need a review for these 5 chapters so hmu if you can :purple_heart::purple_heart: and I’ll read yours since I have some free time
Title : Throne War

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I can help, if your story is published. Because links don’t work for me.

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It is published

Okay I will help you.

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Thank youuu, how can I help you?

You can read my story if you want.

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Sure what’s the name

It’s called SHADO

So, I completed reading your story. There is some minor errors, that can be fixed easily. I have pointed them out below. Overall I will suggest you to capitalize the “I” s. Focus on 's words. You are missing it most of the time. Try adding animation to each and every dialogue. Add animation when changing outfits. Otherwise the characters will seem robotic. And last but not the least add full stop after every sentence. And try making the chapters a little bit longer. Let me know if you didn’t understand something I stated.

Good luck with your story.


Add a “,” after back

Add “s” to hour as two is plural number. And here I come.

Add a “,” after waiting

Remove “no” Two negative words can’t be together.

Capitalize the "I"

Add ’ to its

Capitalize the "h"

He is hot

Remove the extra “p” from people

Remove the “s” from friend.
will be here too.

You can show me around


Beating so fast

Add “,” after going

Make Alaia turn Liam’s side in this scene

Let’s meet Ella

Add “,” after the first sister in the sentence. And she is in the area.

Capitalize the “I”

Big home he has got


How will an ordinary city girl fit in here?

Capitalize “I”

End up in

He is nervous

There is or there’s
Name is
Either convert the coma to full stop or make the h in smaller case.

Remove the end to

Focus the camera on the girl here.

Not the least

Heart is

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Awwh thank you so much, I appreciate it, it’s just that like I’m from South Africa so basically I type how we speak and it’s a bit new to me :joy: the English so I apologize, but I’ll try to change it soon :fire: and read your story as well :pleading_face:

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Happy to help.

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