My family is very very traditional, and sometimes they can be (I’m going to try to say this nicely) dismissive of people. Most of my family is very chill and laid back about things, but I know my sister never really was. My dad told me the other day that EVERYONE thought I was gonna be gay. XD That’s news to me. I didn’t think everyone thought I was gonna be gay. I mean, I’m a weird kinda person when it comes to sexuality, but that’s not what’s most relevant.
I remember a lot of times in the past when my sister would say stupid stuff to me, like the one I remember most was she told me, “You better not be gay.” She said it kind of scoffing at me cause I was telling her how I’d rather spend time with my best friend (another female) and how me and her would rather spend time together than with anybody else. We’re just weird like that, I guess.
So it consisted of this, “You two don’t act like regular friends. You finish each other’s sentences and you sleep in the same bed. That’s all things couples do. You better not be gay.”
To which my first idea was just…get over it! XD you know? First, I don’t think sleeping in the same bed with somebody automatically means you’re butt buddies. Dafuq? At least to me it doesn’t because of my nature, I’m just…idk, I’m kinda dense and stuff anyway.
But after she said that, I’d got a boyfriend and I mentioned him like it was nothing, and she was SOOO surprised and then when my best friend got a boyfriend, she told me her family was “proud” and “relieved” like…??? XDXD My first instinct is always just to tell them to get over it. Whether we were or not, why must I “better not be gay?”
Well, my dad told me recently that everyone thought I’d be gay and he told me that my sister and he argued about it. I was like O.O
He told me that she better leave me alone, don’t say anything to me because if I’m gonna end up that way, I’m gonna end up that way and she doesn’t need to say nonsense to me. Of course she listened, though XD He told me that she was livid, asking him “How could you be okay with it if she ends up that way? Are you really just gonna let her be that?”
I was actually really surprised. I know my family’s quite traditional but JEEZ. She seemed like she was so bothered at the idea the way he was telling the story. It actually made him mad telling me about it.
Whatever I am...
Just in case it’s relevant or if you end up ever being curious, I don’t mind sharing and then defending myself, but I’m a bi-platoniromantic asexual. Duh, best friend. XDXD Of course she’s more than my best friend, we’re just somewhere in between what my sister would consider “lover” and “friend” or even “best friend”.
My favorite community in the world is AVEN. A bunch of people like me? YEAH! I’ve always been okay with being a weird outcast, though, in my family or where ever else.
I’ve been very fortunate always knowing this about myself. It is very simple to explain to me, but I know, especially from AVEN, that it isn’t easy for a lot of people to come to terms with it especially considering the world we live in.
I hear this all the time, which isn’t helpful, from people everywhere of all kinds like, “That doesn’t exist, you’ll meet the right one one day and change your mind,” et cetera et cetera. Every time I tell someone, I hear that bs and I’m like. Okay. Shrug. Whatever you say. Doesn’t affect me like it affects others, though I did get sick of arguing and hearing that nonsense! So I stopped telling people for a long time until I became 19-20 and I got over it.
My very supportive dad still doubts me on that, though. Isn’t that funny?? Everyone doubts asexuality and dismisses it so much. Some people say we’re part of the LGBTQ+, and some say we aren’t. A lot of LGBTQ+ people dismiss me, too. XDXD It doesn’t bother me, I just find it hilarious that my sister could be so damn “YoU bEtTeR nOt Be GaY!” and then the truth just has everybody just dismissing me in a different way. (A much worse way, according to other aces, NOT ME).
But meh, that wasn’t really the point of this post. I just thought it might be relevant to the way my family looks at me and others, too.
Does anybody else have a similar story or situation? Are you a weird outcast from your family for more than just your dating preference (or non-dating preference XD)?