I’ll read your Limelight story

limelight

#1

Hey, I’m looking for some LL stories, if your story is in the LL-style I will read at least the first 3 chapters, more if I like it of course and review it, if you like. (I am very honest so be prepared :no_mouth:)

This isn’t a read for read btw. :see_no_evil:


#2

Title: A SPARK OF HOPE
Cover:


Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5912047137980416


#3

Hey! :blush:
Feel free to check out my story! Thank you for your time!

Feedback is appreciated!!

Title : Stand By Me

Chapters : 6 and counting

Style : Limelight

Genre : Drama

Description : You’re teenagers trying to live a normal life but life isn’t always fair. Troubling pasts, deadly secrets, will they be bliss in each other’s harsh realities?

(Viewers Discretion is advised)


#4

Come check mine out if you’d like :slight_smile:

(WATCH NEW STORY TRAILER): [LINK TO TRAILER]

Title: Loving You Again

Author: Fluffy Rice

Style: Limelight

Chapters: 10 (Ongoing)

Genre: Comedy/Romance

Description: Childhood friends reunited after 10 years. Sierra and Peter reunite after an unexpected meeting. How can they mend their friendship to account for the missing years they were apart?

This story is based on a true story, my life actually.

Instagram: @fluffyrice.episode

LINK: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4771951097544704


#5

Hi! Please read my story, and review if you wish!

Title: Soul Snatcher
Genre: Fantasy
Only 3 episodes so far

It is a fantasy/mystery story, I think you will like it!!


#6

Mine is just a test story and only has customization and then choices and it’s over.


#7

Thanks for making this thread.
Here is my story info.
Story title:
“I will always find you”(Limelight)
Authors name:
Maria.StoryWritter
Story description:
My life takes a dark turn. When I meet him. My only hope is to get out on time. If that is even possible.
Who can I trust, Who should I fear? Please help me, Someone’s watching.
Amount of chapters:
12(ongoing)
link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5941749403746304



#8

yes sis thank youu


#9

Hay there! :smile:
Here’s my story:
Title : The roses killer
Author: Rosenspitze
Genre: Mystery/ Thriller
Style: Limelight
Number of episodes: 15 (more episodes coming soon)
Description: Will you be able to successfully complete this case, or will the demons inside you stop you? (3 Endings)(+ Halloween special ch.15)
Instagram: rosenspitze.episode
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6314642072535040

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#10

Title: Eternal Lies


Please review ^.^ I’m okay with harshness. I’d love to learn how to improve my story so I won’t get offended XD


#11

Here I am! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
I read the first three chapters yesterday and will most definitely continue. Even if you did’t specifically ask for feedback, here are some points that would (in my opinion) make the story even better or just some things I really liked about A Spark Of Hope

Nylahs Hair
So in the beginning the Reader is told to choose short hair because of the story and we learn pretty quick why this would make sense. Tbh if I wear you I would disable all long hairstyles or use the “remember choices” when someone is in fact choosing long hair to use the term “wig” in the Story. That makes the whole thing way more realistic and even if someone is forced to choose short hair, otherwise it would make no sense why her hair is 6ft long.

Also in Chapter 1, in the very first scene where Nylah and Ren talk she calls herself “smart blonde”. If she is supposed to be blond, disabled other hair colors or use - once again - the choices the game remembers so the hair color the Reader chooses will be known by the game. Or just replace this line with something else.

Character Customization
It’s nice that the Reader can choose Nylahs appearance but it was quite annoying to read the warning about her hair every time I was done with something (that happens during the mum’s customization too). To avoid this just put those lines above the label where the customization starts.

The Family: That maybe my preference but I dislike stories where I have to design my family. The easiest way to change that (If you like) and also let the family look like Nylah, is using the @FAMILYMEMBER changes into… just under @NYLAH changes into… in Nylah’s customization script. The best way to let them look alike is to give them the same eye color, hair color, skin color and nose. It makes the family feel more natural and saves one the time to customize every family member and remember which nose, hair color or exact skin color the Reader used in Nylahs creation.

The Music Is Great :musical_note:
Usually I don’t like stories with music. Not that I won’t read them, but most of the time I keep my volume down while playing. But for your story I kept it up and damn, I love the music and ambient-sound. Especially in Chapter 2 (I think) in the car where Nylah had her anxiety attack.

Zoom
I noticed that every once in a while the zoom is a little off. Either the character is not really in the center of the display, too far down or the zoom is just not close enough and you can see the character next to character-A in a weird way. The fact that the zoom is also very low, the speechbubble of the characters is often almost in their face which kinda disturbs the reading flow. To avoid this zoom a little closer in those kinds of scenes and sometimes a little higher.

Also the zoom is quite repetitive. It seems like you always have 2 seconds set to zoom from one character to another. This gets boring and a bit annoying fast. To improve the Readers experience set the zoom between characters just to 0 seconds from time to time. That makes for variety and the reading more exciting.

Background
The background is always filled with NPC’s, adding the great ambient-sound, the background comes alive. Well done! :see_no_evil:

The Character Design Is Great
Everyone looks very well-thought-out. I mean: I have a huge problem with finding great or the right outfits but you nailed that one easily, everyone looks unique and even the NPCs leave a nice impression and go well with the background. :wink:

The layers are off
At first, I wrote down in which scenes the layers were not quite right, but this happens way too often. If you’re having multiple characters on the screen, you must use layers. Sometimes a character runs past someone in the front but runes behind the character model of Nylah & co. This looks a bit unclean, unfortunately. The best thing you can do is to use layers in most of the scenes where more than 2 people appear.

MICHAEL IS HOT
Sorry. Just wanted to put it out there. I mean he is an ass (kinda) but still. That character design made me scream.

Thing I noticed while reading
The first chapter should catch the Readers eye. But unfortunately, some dialogues in the first episode are very long, they almost seem stretched out and at some point become tiring because you just want to get to the next scene, this includes the first conversation with Ren. I understand that this scene reveals a lot including the close friendship between Nylah and Ren, but you can feel that also the other/upcoming chapters. Especially Chapter 2-3 caught my eye so that I could hardly stop reading. I also realize that you have improved a lot in Chapter 2-3. But here are some bugs that I noticed and maybe should be changed, so that impatient readers won’t directly lose their interest and miss out on chapter 2-3 which were great.

Chapter 1 / The Nurse Appearing: The zoom is off. First the zooms randomly resets, then it zooms in like before and that also in just a second. Also just after the Nurse (Karen I think?) appeared, the speechbubble became so small. Just add a @speechbubble reset in the line under Ren thinking “Please don’t see me”

Chapter 1 / In the cafeteria: Nylah and the food on the table appear with a delay which is a bit unpleasant to see, because it also happens 2-3 times between the zoom-switches with Ren. To avoid that Nylah and the food appear in delay to the background use &NYLAH or &OVERLAY. That way everything appears at the same time and the scene will seem more natural.

Chapter 1 / Ren’s scream bcs of the bacon: Just add 1-2 @pause for a beat after the zoo, switches to the shocked NPC’s. The switch between Ren and them is way to fast. The Reader can barely take note of the situation before the joke is already over.

Chapter 2 / Dad entering the examination room: It’s either the zoom or use of spot but Nylah’s Dad enters the room in a really weird way. Also while talking with Michael the Dad is way bigger than Michael even though
he stands behind Michael. Just make the Dad a bit smaller of Michael a bit bigger and the situation will seem more natural.

Chapter 3 / In the police station: The police woman walking by is one a wrong layer because she is supposed the walk by Nylah and Ren but somehow walks behind them.

Chapter 3 / After the Diner with Rens Dad: Somewhere in the lines you made the speechbubble smaller and forgot to reset it.

Chapter 3 / Speechbubble: The thing where you need to reset the speechbubble also happens in the scene where Nylah meets Michael in the pavilion and at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 3 / At the End: Nylah’s spot is just off. :joy: Move here in a zone that isn’t shown.

Characters running in general: If someone is running really fast, make them move from spot A to spot B faster. The way it is right now it’s kinda weird seeing them run fast as f* but move really slow. Avoid this by lowering the seconds they need to get from spot A to spot B.

Overall I will continue the story! :grin:
The first episode was a bit long-winded for me, but you could still adjust that so other Readers won’t lose their interest, because especially Chapter 2 and 3 are very good. Although yesterday when I stared reading it was very late and my eyes were constantly closing because of my fatigue, I could’t stop reading after Chapter 2 and started directly with the third chapter. I’m curious how it goes on and if you adjust the few mistakes I am sure more people will continue to read and be overwhelmed by chapter 2 and 3. :purple_heart:


#12

Mischief Night:vampire:t3::heart_eyes::jack_o_lantern::ghost::orange_heart::tada:

This Story follows Brooklyn, a girl who hates Halloween but soon finds herself in a world with Real Monsters!

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#13


Story title - Midnight Memories
Author - Evija
Style - Limelight
Genre - Romance
Episodes - 19 (more coming soon)
Description - Ayla flies all the way from Ireland to somewhere in America, when she’s supposed to spend a summer in some kind of rehabilitation center for people with anorexia.
My instagram - episode.evija

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#14

Story title : Vitamin C
Author : travelovex
Style : Limelight
Genre : Drama
Episodes : 3 (more coming soon)
Description : Are you ready to be a doctor at the North Side Hospital and having the boss his troubled son as your intern?
My Instagram : xtravelovex
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6115704899502080
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#15

Here I am! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

First up: I love your story. Besides the fact that I love the Limelight-Style, it seems like you know where you’re going and your directing is really on point. No scene or conversation between the characters seems unnecessary long or boring and I love the length of your episodes. They are certainly not too short but not so long that I lose interest. That the Reader can actually control a man/boy and even more characters at the same time who also have to do with each other, is SO awesome! Something that is really rarely seen in the episode-world. It’s so interesting to affect several lives at once.
Especially Dwight did it to me and I think he is, hands-down, my favorite character. The directing is like I said before really smooth and except for a few errors with the layers, really on point.
It’s also great that you added a message at the end of Chapter 3 for people with similar problems. I will continue to read the story in any case!

The Animations
Every animation for a text line seems perfectly fitting. Nothing more to say here. Well done!

The Background
I mean so far, there weren’t many scenes in rooms with many people but especially in school-corridor, the active background is noticeable. For example: As this boy passes the camera. I would definitely keep that use of NPCs for the upcoming chapters.

Some layer-issues I noticed that can easily be changed by adding or adjusting the layers for the characters.
Chapter 1 / Dwight phone call: The first scene-change between Quentin and Dwight moves Dwight to zone 2 instead of 3. It seems like he teleported and left me confused for a second.

Chapter 1 / Camille in the school-corridor: I think that’s a spot-error. After the school-corridor scenes starts, Camille stands above the ground, somehow on the wall and locker just before she is setback to the right spot and opens her locker. I mean I can’t see the script but maybe you can fix it by using &CAMILLE and let her open the locker while the camera zooms in on her?

Chapter 2 / Camille & Mecca in the Mall: Mecca comes in first but then walks, somehow, infront of Camille. It may be me but it seems odd to me the way Mecca walks infront of Camille. :thinking:

Chapter 2 / Camille and Dwight in the cafe: While Camille gives Dwight her number (or the other way around I don’t remember exactly) she shows him her phone behind his back. Just set her layer over his and the problem is solved.

Chapter 3 / After Camille made Tyson food: The zoom on the stairs is just wrong or Camille and Tyson are too small. They look like little dwarfs. :joy:

Character Customization
Instead of giving out a warning that the Reader should not change certain features (or be careful while changing), I would just set/lock some things, especially the skin colors. For example: Camille’s family would remain black if someone came up with the idea of making her Asian. I mean, I just left them the way they were, but others could come up with stupid ideas of changing essential things that gives the story (just my opinion) somehow, the realistic factor.

Anyway! That’s it. Besides the layer issues I find your story really great and can’t find anything that could bother me or maybe others. It seems like you already have the next chapter planned out in your mind and that makes the story so pleasant to read.

I’m curious to see how life will play with Dwight and Camille. :purple_heart:


#16

My story: Fallen Angel
Author: Rune
Genre: Fantasy
Story style: Limelight
Description: Rune Wolves is sent to a boarding school, and everyone there has some kind of powers, except for her. Does she find her powers? And what happens, when the evil is against them? CharacterCustomization
Episodes: 4, more coming soon!
Instagram: @runes_episode
Don’t know if the cover will show yet, but here it is in case


#17

I have 3 Limelight stories. Here are my stories:

Title: Projection!
Author: Karlon Artis
Genre: Comedy
Style: Limelight
Description: Harry Stevens is looking for his big break in the world of musical theatre. But what will it take to get there?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6046875219918848

Title: Publicity Problems
Author: Karlon Artis
Genre: Drama
Style: Limelight
Description: Samantha Xanders struggles with her fame after receiving unwanted publicity. Can she overcome the challenges of stardom?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4689222272417792

Title: Video Game Champion
Author: Karlon Artis
Genre: Action
Style: Limelight
Description: You are a gamer hoping to win the video game championship. Can you defeat your rival after a 5-year losing streak?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5634634595172352


#18

Omg girl thank you so much @Shayenne !!! :sob::sob::raised_hands:t5::raised_hands:t5:I really appreciate the in-depth review. I’m so glad you said something about the customization because I was honestly feeling indifferent about adding customization. My MCs are POC and I want them to remain as such, I only did the CC because I caved into trying to accommodate everyone but then I realized nahh so in my next episode I’ll be resetting it back and limiting the CC and changing it as well during chapter 3.

About the stair scene. :thinking:I couldn’t find a background in time to do the stair scene so I just zoomed in on a default one I found :sob:. I plan to update that scene as well with a real stair background. Thank you also for pointing out some of the spotting and layer errors. I’ll be sure to correct it. Im also having a horrible time getting my overlays the way I want them, I’m going to have to find a better tutorial or something because it’s like anything I do it just makes it worse, I really wanna do more with overlays especially the cars but they drive me crazy :joy::joy::joy:. Anyways hanks again for reading!! :kissing_heart::sunglasses:


#19

Thank you in advance and have the most amazing week, my dear! :rose::revolving_hearts:

Name: Law, Order & Love

Description:
Victoria, a promising graduate, gets a job at prestigious law firm. Though she is haunted by the ghosts of her past. Will she be able to fight her ghosts and also win cases?

Chapters : 10 (ongoing)

Genre: Drama/Romance

Style: Limelight

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4990083566272512


#21

Can i have a review? here’s my story