i’m tired of feeling like i’m being stalked all the time. i’m tired of people telling me what my race is. i’m tired of being harassed for my race. i’m tired of people fetishising my race. i’m tired of doubting my talents. i’m tired of feeling like an attention seeker. i’m tired of feeling like i am always copying people. i’m tired of school. i’m tired of not being able to achieve my dreams. i’m tired of not being able to live alone. i’m tired of having a transphobic, racist, homophobic, xenophobic family. i’m tired of not having any freedom. i’m tired of having to close out instagram everytime i hear my mom coming because she doesn’t let me have it. i’m tired of being bullied by my brothers. i’m tired of not being able to meet my real family. i’m tired of feeling like the most annoying person ever. i’m tired of feeling ugly. i’m tired of feeling talentless. i’m tired of feeling and looking fat. i’m tired of eating unhealthy foods even though i shouldn’t be eating at all. i’m tired of having to bite my tongue all the time, for fear someone will do something bad to me if they don’t like what i say. i’m tired of people assuming my gender. i’m tired of not feeling welcome here because i don’t play episode. i’m tired of feeling like a crappy friend. i’m tired of having no irl friends. i’m tired of having depression. i’m tired of having ocd. i’m tired of having anxiety all the time. i’m tired of being called toxic. i’m tired of people saying shitty things about me. i’m tired of feeling stupid. i’m tired of other people calling me stupid. i’m tired of being bullied for my age. i’m tired of people combatting racism with racism. i’m tired of receiving sexist comments. i’m tired of sleeping. i’m tired of waking up with cramps everyday because of the way i sleep. i’m tired of wanting to die everyday. i’m tired of eating food. i’m tired of everything going wrong. i’m tired of nothing falling into line. i’m tired of thinking i will never reach my goals. i’m tired of feeling alone. i’m tired of everyone in my real life being so unlikeable. i’m tired of having nightmares. i’m tired of feeling like a colourist person. i’m tired of people insulting my ancestors’ culture. i’m tired of feeling like an embarrassment. i’m tired of being verbally, emotionally, and physically abused. i’m tired of feeling unsafe. i’m tired of being sexually harassed. i’m tired of people telling me what my gender is. i’m tired of my so-called “mom” invading my privacy and personal space all the time. i’m tired of living with a bunch of hypocrites. i’m tired of not being able to do or say what i want. i’m tired of having blemishes all over my face. i’m tired of people abandoning me. i’m tired of feeling like i’m gonna be attacked all the time. i’m tired of offending people when i really don’t mean to. i’m tired of not being able to be myself. i’m tired of only having access to the internet when i’m at home. i’m tired of being insulted for my nationality. i’m tired of feeling like i’ve been lied to my whole life. i’m tired of not being able to do anything without my dictator parents knowing. i’m tired of being called ugly. i’m tired of feeling like a liar. i’m tired of feeling like a hypocrite. i’m tired of being treated differently because of my skin colour. i’m tired of people getting pissy at me when i use british english. i’m tired of people assuming the dialect of english i speak. i’m tired of people assuming my weight. i’m tired of not even knowing what my weight is anymore. i’m tired of not knowing my height. i’m tired of being treated differently because of my height. i’m tired of feeling like a crazy weirdo all the time. i’m tired of having to type all this out for hope that someone will pity me for my pathetic life.
i’m tired of everything.