I Need advice! ASAP!

So I’ve been recently working on writing a script for my school play. But I’m a beginner at writing and I don’t know if it’s good. So I wanted to make sure someone checked it out before I turned it in. Also I’m not fully done, It’s just a rough draft.
I would appreciate it if you point out any mistakes on sentences or punctuation.

The script


Make sure to reply quickly I have 1 and 1/2 weeks to get this done.

It looks like you have everything in order. I have a bit of knowledge of writing scripts, but I’m rushy.

Okay, thanks.

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If I’m not mistaken “your drooling all over him” should be “you’re drooling all over him”. Same with “Your just jealous”.

Your is possessive while you’re is a contraction of you and are.

Okay, thanks!

Wow! That first paragraph is amazing. It gets people’s attention. Good job! Anyway, I did catch a few things you can change. Instead of “a asylum,” you should put “an asylum.” The part where Moni says that people will only be sorry for Emma should say, “Maybe that’s what you should do because, no matter how hard you try, no one will ever want to trust you; they’ll only be sorry for you.” The part where Emma talks about dreams should say, “In your dreams, one day you’re gonna go to sleep and never wake up; then you’re gonna believe me. You’re gonna wish you had listened to me.” The part where Moni says she isn’t a freak should say, “I’m not a freak! I just don’t want to be bothered. What’s wrong with keeping to yourself?” I hope this helps, and I wish you luck for the play. :heart:

Thanks so much, this helped a lot.

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You’re welcome. I hope you have a nice weekend!

You too!!

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Also do check the wcuniforms

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