I need advice (mental health, i guess)

Yeah. ok, so. I need advice. Advice to do with mental health, and getting help :love_you_gesture:

Just realised, I should probably mention I’m 14 and live in the middle of nowhere, so trying to go somewhere myself isn’t really an option.

Basically, I came out to my parents as trans October 2018, and they just heavily insinuated that it was a phase (they’re docters, and apparently there’s been an incline in people detransitioning). I understand why they’re worried for me, but I have the same thoughts and it’s been over a year, and I’ve found myself so much more comfortable presenting male, being known as male online, and have become so much more uncomfortable being known and seen as female, and going to an all-girls school. I’ve also just started my GCSEs, which translates to ‘I’m stuck in the all-girls school until July 2021’. I really just want to talk to a counsellor or something, and I’ve told them [my parents] several times but always got the ‘yeah, yeah. we’re on it’ (they’re never on it). I really think I need to talk to someone, but I live in rural England, on a farm, and if I ever want to go anywhere I have to get a lift from either my parents or my grandma. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to go. Honestly, I’m kinda embarrassed asking what to do on the episode forums but it’s the only place where no one knows who I am.

This may get closed, I’m not sure. Again, I just don’t know where else to ask. Sorry to the mods if they have to close this :sweat_smile:

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Hi sorry to hear you are struggling, there are a few places to get support in the Uk.

Childline: offers support to children in the Uk not just with abuse or bullying but anything that’s bothering you up to the age of 18

The Mix: If your a bit older or prefer a more mature group the mix offers advice to people aged 13-25 on anything thats bothering you. They also offer a 1-2-1 support chat as well as group chats on Sun-Thursday.

The Samaritans: A call centre whom you call call and just talk to a councillor who can help you with anything thats on your mind.

Shout: these are like the Samaritans but they use a text service instead

I’m not sure if I’ll be aloud to post the links or not (I’ll check with a mod) but I could pm you the links if you like?

hope you’re ok

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Don’t worry about that, asking for help is never wrong, no matter when or where.
The person who posted before me already sent some stuff, I hope that helps.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here (just wanted to let you know).

I hope you’ll be able to get help and it will get better!

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Thank you, could you possibly send me the links? Sorry :sweat_smile:

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Thank you, and I hope so too.

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Hey :slight_smile: no need to be sorry at all Xx I just hope they are some help. I’ll pm you just bare with :smiley:

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Hey! I would like to help you, but I don’t know how to. If you want someone to vent to I’m here for you.

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Same as @lale, I’d love to help, but I’m not entirely sure how to be helpful.

For me (although I can’t directly relate to the root of your issue), I’m just essentially trying to make the most out of high school. For the most part, I can’t wait to get the hell out of my town full of snobs and ignorant gremlins. However, there is always at least one person who makes me forget about all the pompous clowns. There’s always the reminder of confidence that I can get a McFlurry because the ice-cream machine in my town generally works, or the convenience of events since it’s such a small town and everybody practically knows each other. There’s always some sort of a silver lining in things, but sometimes it’s incredibly hard to find it. I hope you find your silver lining. Until then, just keep swimming :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Need somebody to rant to? I’m here, and so are a lot of other people. You have a support system and we’re all here with you.

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@lale @epy.sarah

Thank you both. Really, thank you. :slight_smile:

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No need to thanks, I did nothing.
I can’t relate to your situation so I don’t feel like saying what you should do, but I’ll just say what I think. What others thinks does not define who you are. You are a boy? NO ONE can tell you it’s wrong, or that you’re not, and I know you can just stop care about what other thinks, it’s normal, but you’re still who you are.

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I really think that the most important part of overcoming a difficult situation is to talk about it, if not to people, even write down your emotions, acknowledge them, leaving them all inside will do nothing but hurt you. I’m pretty sure that you kept all your frustrations to yourself, this post clearly shows how uncomfortable you’re feeling with this situation and how scared you are in deeply thinking about your reality, you don’t have to excuse yourself for having feelings, you have a voice that is being heard! A counselor would be your best option, start by going by yourself, even without involving your parents at the beginning. Transitioning could be a really energy-draining period, I can’t even imagine how you must feel with your family situation as well.
If you still want to give it a try and talk to your parents again, you need to be ready to demonstrate them that you’re talking seriously. Parents never take their children seriously, especially if they don’t support a particular situation and most of the time we just find ourselves ignoring our emotions in order for them to be proud. This is your life, you deserve to be happy and comfortable with yourself.
I will never stop to repeat that: the only reason why LGBTQ people are more “common” now is because we’re finally living in a more supportive world, where people don’t get discriminated only because they’re different. So NO, THERE AREN’T MORE LGBTQ PEOPLE, THEY’RE JUST NOT SCARED ANYMORE TO COME OUT. They need to understand that, both for your well being and for the sake of their patients

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Oh, I’m sorry you are stuck. I don’t think it is a mental health thing because it’s completely okay and normal for some. (NOT saying mental health isn’t okay because it is) And it’s doubly hard that you go to an all girls school. Do you have to stay there until 2021? I think it is a good idea to go to a counsellor too. I hope this helps. Have a great day.

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