I need an opinion from someone

Hey guys I need ur help for writing


Can u pls b more specific :heartbeat:

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What is it exactly?

To write what will appen in the book

Wait, so is this an episode story you’re working on or it is just a miscellaneous project?
Do you have a general idea or plot set up, or is that what you need help with?

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        Thé  guardian love 

     Chapitre 1 

List of characters and their jobs/ roles: Asuna is the captain of the guard; Leafa is the princess; Anastasia is the queen, Kuroko is the king; Aria is the main character, daughter of Diane the hunter goddess, and immortal warrior; Kirito is the prince and main love interest; Queen Auriana is I believe the queen of where Aria’s from; Posseidon is the god of the sea.

Aria: Main character, daughter of Diane (the hunter goddess), and an immortal warrior.
Aria’s skills: Archery, fighting, cooking.

Kirito: second character, Poseidon’s son
Prince of sea and earth

Plot twist, the vampire, the witch, and the wolf try to kill Leafa, Kirito, and Aria to save her.

There was a war between the four clans 300 years ago, Aria survived the war, the fairy clan would be on her side.

The legend about crown, sword, neckless and scepter: the legendary objects are hidden in different kingdoms and each of the objects has a different power, two guardians are keeping there are two guardians keeping them from bad people, and only a true warrior can use them.

Once upon a time, there was a guardian named Aria, she was the strongest immortal girl, she was fighting like a goddess.
One day she fell in love with a human guy named Kirito. That the head of guardian that in fact the queen she told aria to come down to earth to protect one human in particular and she also told her to watch him from a far distance

Poseidon: Hey Aria, her majesty the queen needs to talk to you in the crown room.
Aria: did the queen tell you why she has to talk to me?
Poseidon: I have no idée why she wants to talk to you. Have a nice day Aria.
Queen Auriana: hey Aria I have a mission for u, I know that you are the best person to fulfill this mission.
Aria: What is this mission queen Auriana?
Queen Auriana: the mission is that you have to be the guardian of a young man named Kirito, and you have to watch him from a far distance, and you can’t be seen by him.
Aria: when do I start this mission, my queen?
Queen Auriana: you will start it Tomorrow have a rest Aria, see you tomorrow Aria.
Aria: see you tomorrow my queen.
Aria went to her house and she relaxed in her bed while she was relaxing she was having dream of Kirito and she fell in love of Kirito in her dream, then she woke up and changed her clothes then she join the queen at the gate that is near the human realm
End of the first chapter

two guardians are keeping two guardians are keeping

         Chapter 2

At the gate to the human realm
Aria: curtsies my queen
Queen Auriana: nods Aria
Queen Auriana: Aria are you prepared?
Aria: Of course my queen puffs out chest
Queen Auriana: puts her hand on Aria’s shoulders say to Aria: have a safe trip aria.
Aria: I will be safe, my queen.
Aria came down to earth and she appeared halfway to the castle and saw some evil person around the castle.
Then she went to a jewel shop then she saw this beautiful and powerful necklace . She enter in the shop
Aria : hello miss could I see that necklace please?
The woman seller : here the necklace .
Aria : how much is it miss ?
The woman seller : it’s 10 dollars
Aria : I will take it miss , here the money miss .
The woman seller : have a nice day .
Aria went to the castle to be a guard so she could still do her mission .
Aria : excuse me sir I would like to see her majesty the queen .
The knight : follow me miss , by the way what is your name miss ?
Aria : my name is Aria sir , what is your name sir ?
The knight : my name is Thomas miss , wait here miss Aria .
Aria waits in the crown room for the queen .
Queen Anastasia : hello miss Aria , u wanted to see me ?
Aria: I was wondering if I could be one of the personal guards of the prince , my queen ?
Queen Anastasia : sure ,Aria
Aria : thank u my queen , where is the prince my queen ?
Queen Anastasia : He is doing sword practicing miss Aria .
Aria went to her room to change herself into a dress with armor and took her sword then she joined the prince for the sword practice .

Prince kirito : hello miss who are you ?
Aria : I’m your knew personal guard sir .
Prince kirito : okay , let’s start that training miss .
Aria : yes, sir
After the training Aria went to her room where she put her necklace and went to sleep while she was sleeping she was having a dream .

Help me for what will happen next in the book

So here’s the thing, we can give you suggestions but at the end of the day, only you really know your vision and how you want your story to pan out.

Straying away from what you asked a lil bit, have you created a rough outline for your whole story? For me, my process is writing down an idea I like and then expanding on it. I highlight the really important events/points in the story from beginning to end and make sure to answer important questions, then I fill in the blanks surrounding it.

Think of it as a house, you put your foundations up (which is your base concept) and the rest of your story works towards shaping the completed house.

The main goal is to advance from one major event to the next major event in a way that progress the story towards your end goal. If you haven’t created a rough outline yet, I’d highly suggest doing this as it may be super beneficial and may even be easier to figure out what should come next in your story. It doesn’t need to be perfectly detailed as long as all of your foundations are laid.

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Well said! Ofc we can help you but you need to do it mostly on your own because we don’t know exactly your vision and how you want it to wrap up!

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I know that I just want an opinion for the ideas I writing down here

After reading this thread, my biggest piece of advice would be to try and shape your characters a bit more in chapter 3. After reading the dialogue you’ve written for chapters 1 & 2, I know absolutely nothing about who they are as a person. Even if you give basic background information about them in a narration bubble, it’s definitely not enough to create a compelling story-line with personable characters.

What I would do in the next chapter, is give some background information about the characters through flashbacks. This will help the reader understand why the characters are doing what they’re doing and how they got there. It will minimize confusion and give your story a bit more substance.

Hope this helps!!


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