I need beta readers for ma storyyy


#1

heyyy I need a beta reader my story flaws btw I haven’t finished the first episode yet so I swear to god if someone says it’s to short
here is da linkkk
FLAWSS


#2

ooff did anybody read itt


#3

The flashback was TOOOOO fast and the police or whatever were pretty dumb.


#4

And when the younger girl gives off the table spot her on the floor then do stand_up then have her run.


#5

The unknown dude did nothing to help midnight like at all like tf? The dude could have helped her.


#6

Then after she runs after the unknown have her exit the shop then run up on the street for it to be smooth.


#7

tysmmm
first I know the flashback was pretty short only because it the first episode and i’m not done yet
also a part of the dude not helping her is because at first I was thinking that midnight was going to be walking then she get’s pulled over to the side and the dude is kinda surprised by all the magic type things going on and asks midnight what is she like what kind of fanasy person is she and midnight is tired or whatever because she used a lot of magic idk and she was going to faint and Elijah(aka unknown)
was going to bring her back to his place or whatever

butt instead I deceided to have her go on there territory or whatever and then she is going to faint and Antonio show’s up and takes her back to the gang hideout type thing


#8

also if I fixed some things here and there would u read it


#9

Oh ok!


#10

That’s good.


#11

And when you say it’s your first story it doesn’t change much really and some layer problems


#14

Hmm ok.


#15

ooff did anybody else read it also i did a LOT of work on it today


#16

BUMPP
i updated