Yeah I agree!
There are a few errors with punctuation, as well as spelling. Maybe you can try fixing those.
posseidon : Hey Aria her magisty the queen need to talk to you in the crown room .
Aria: did the queen told you why she have to talk to me ?
Posseidon : i have no idée why she want to talk to u have a nice day Aria .
Queen Auriana : hey Aria I have a mission for u , I know that you are the best person to fulfill this mission .
Aria : What is this mission queen auriana ?
Queen Auriana : the mission is that you have to be the guardian of a young men that named by kirito , and you have to watch him from a far distance , and you can’t be seen by him .
Aria : when do I start this mission my queen ?
Queen Auriana : you will start it Tomorrow have a rest Aria , see uou tomorrow Aria .
Aria : see you tomorrow my queen .
Aria went to her house and she relaxed in her bed wile she was relaxing she was having dream of kirito and she felt in love of kirito in her dream , then she woke up and changed her clothes then she join the queen at the gate that is near the human realm .
So what do u think of the dialog
theres quite a lot of spelling errors, i’d maybe consider getting yourself a proofreader angel <33
i would also stop leaving a space before a period :))
sorry for the random comment, i just wanted to help
U could be my proof writer if u want
i don’t have time, sorry!!
but there are a lot of people on here who would do it!! maybe u could make a thread asking for a proofreader?
Or be my co-writer ?
Well, like @hollywood.episode said, there are a lot of spelling errors as well as grammar errors. Plus, the punctuation needs a bit of work and overall pacing of the dialogue, one minute she’s talking to someone, then the next she’s talking to the queen, then the next she’s falling in love. It needs to be smoother.
So be my co-writer
Hey! Try working on punctuation. (Using capital letters at the start of the sentences, etc). Also fix the spelling errors.
Help me to write it please
Me? Sorry, I don’t have lots of free time. I have my own stories I’m working on.
You can using grammarly and make a thread for proofreading