I need honest opinions on how my story is going so far

So what I was thinking of for the first episode is that the MC and LI meet in the first episode. How do you feel about that so far? It starts with the LI and the side character moving into their dorm (It’s a college story) and the side character invites him over to have coffee with his girlfriend. The next scene is with the MC and the other side character and it is the same as the other scene. Should I add/delete anything in my script? Is there anything you dislike/like? Please tell me. :slightly_smiling_face:

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I think it’s a good start :slight_smile:
Maybe you could also elaborate a bit? :sweat_smile: The description is pretty vague.

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Yes! It would be great if you could be more specific with the story so we can help you out more :blush:

Sorry, what I was trying to say was the story begins with Aaron (the love interest) and his roommate, Jake (a side character), moving into their dorm. Jake invites Aaron to have coffee with his girlfriend, Grace. In the next scene, Calista (the main character) and Grace (another side character) are also moving into their dorm under similar circumstances. Does that help? Sorry if not😅

I did understand your first explaination. What I meant is that it’s pretty vague/short to really be able to form an opinion about it :sweat_smile: I like it so far, but I think it’s similar to how many college stories start.

Ohh okay. Is there a way I could adjust it?

Is this better?

I think what @/Nora20 and I mean is, we would need more details like for example some background information about the characters: where are they from? what’s their story? What are the circumstances? And with that maybe some more details on the first episode.
Here’s an example:

MC and Grace have been bestfriends since middle school. MC has always dreamed of becoming a famous singer while Grace wanted to pursue her passion in science.
MC mother died when she was 12, so it’s been just her and her dad. He never really supported her music. He says it’s just a hobby, not something you could actually live of so he made her go to college to get a real degree. But she still plans on joing a band and making it big some day.

LI grew up with strict parents. His father was a famous football player and is now a couch at his (now) old high school. He pressured his son to pursue the same career.

MC arrives at the university with her father driving. She sees her best friend in the distance and runs immadiately to her. They are both very excited to start this new chapter in their lives. They bring their stuff to the dorm room and say goodbye to their parents.
Meanwhile the LI arrives by bus with his best friend. His mom/dad calls him to make sure they arrived safely. They are also very excited, Jake jokes about LI and how he should now be able to finally find a girlfriend for himself. Speaking of which Jake’s girlfriend texts him and invites them for coffe.
After they’ve settled in their rooms, LI goes to the deans office to talk about his spot on the sports team. To his surprise his application never arrived. He tries arguing but nothing can be done. He leaves the office and kicks the door open out of frustration. He realises he hit someone with the door, the MC. She gets angry and starts yelling at him, he tries to apologize. Her nose is bleeding, he offers her his hand to help her get up. She tells him to back off and walks away.

See what I mean? This is actual plot. What you wrote was a short description/idea. So it’s hard to really rate it :sweat_smile:

That makes sense, sorry for the incomprehension. Do you mind if I use this? With credit of course.

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Sure! I’m glad I could help :blush:

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Sounds good so far. I can’t give a full opinion since I do not know the story as well as you but it sounds like a charming meet cute. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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will you make an update when the story is published?

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Thank you!!!:grin:

Yes I can :slight_smile:

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It might take a while though :sweat:

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that’s fine

the story is not published yet, but i have half of a first episode if you wanna proof read it :slight_smile:

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I’d love to proof read it! :slightly_smiling_face:

how do you share the story?

At the bottom of the screen there should be a link to share your story.