I need someones honest opinion


#1

Hey everybody!
Recently, my sister and I have decided to create a story called Private Eyes.
We’re only on episode one but I just wanted some feedback on whether or not this story plot was wayyy too cliche or not.

This is portrayed through two people.
Lorena & Iris DiMaggio.
17 year old seniors in high school.
(They have both been home schooled their whole lives.)

Salvatore DiMaggio, the worlds most famous and successful business man in history, owner of the DiMaggio Enterprise. (Located in Seattle Washington)
The CFO of the DiMaggio Enterprise (Jackson Garcia), is out to get Salvatore and his wife Natalia killed, so Jackson can become the CEO of the company.
Jackson’s desire is to steal all of Salvatore’s fame, money, and glory.

Jackson Garcia has successful convinced Salvatore’s bodyguard to plot against him.
When the time comes to attack his manor, one of the bodyguards is filled of guilt…
Thirty minutes prior to the assassination, the guilt filled bodyguard proceeds to call Salvatore and warn him about everything that will happen.

What Jackson Garcia & the world didn’t know was that, Salvatore has two fraternal twin daughters he has kept confined from the social world, for safety reasons.

Long story short, Salvatore warns his daughters about the situation the family is in and they flee from Seattle, Washington, to sunny Miami Florida.

They traveled to Miami Florida under “witness protection”, the United States government has approved for the DiMaggio’s to live in secrecy, (due to the constant death threats).
Thus, Salvatore transfers the ownership of the DiMaggio Enterprise to his best friend Travis Kosta.
To make sure his company is regulating well, the DiMaggio’s relocate to Miami, Florida.
Upon arrival to Miami, Florida.
The DiMaggio’s want to invest into a private property, for the time being they have decided to live with the Kostas.
What Iris and Lorena didn’t know was that not only would they finally be able to attend a normal high school.
Travis Kosta has two sons that the girls find a mixture of emotions towards.

To sum everything up, Salvatore wants his daughters to live safely, and happily.
He feels that if he retires and his daughters keep the promise that they will never expose who their parents are to the public eye…
He would’ve succeeded as a business man, as well as a father.
Iris & Lorena will find themselves facing many obstacles when it comes to dealing with these two brothers!


#2

Sounds very interesting !