Hello! I will be reviewing stories and giving tips on how to improve your story.
Format:
[Name of your story] [Author]
How many chapters:
Approximate lenght of each episode:
I will be reviewing the first 3 episodes only.
Waiting list: Aykay; Under the Stars MTB; Gold Leaf High Grottino; the Read Curtain Licorice; Blackbird Victoriaecs; Pathway To Reality TamiRose; Dare To Kiss! kahotshot; Dance Party Avarose456; Magicka: Rain Rebecca Isabel; The Color Raven Writes; Magicka: Witches Aren’t Real mcsaylesjoc; A Certain Love Madhu; Necromancers Anjita D; Master of elements Lili Star; Forbidden Love
WARNING:The reviews that I do are based on my opinion and are constructive criticisms. If you disagree with those, it’s fine. But they are both different opinions. Please do not take them with offence.
[Name of you story] Gold Leaf High [Author] MTB
How many chapters: 3 chapters out (4th is locked and being revamped)
Approximate lenght of each episode: ehhhh not sure 5-8 minutes, maybe less maybe more
·Music & sounds.
I, personally, think that the music and sound is a big step to make your story more elaborate and interesting. To add music to your story write this in your script;
music (sound)| to add music (loop)
music off | stop playing the music
sound (sound)| to add sound (non loop)
sound off | stop playing the sound
·Spots.
For example, in chapter one, Jasmine is supposed to be reading while she’s sitting on the table. She looks like she’s a giant. This happened multiple times and I think that fixing the spots would make the story seem more professional.
·Tought bubble.
Jasmine talks her toughts. I would use a tought bubble. To add a tought bubble you only need to put the text with parenthesis. E.G: JASMINE
(Text.)
·Repeated animations too many times.
Try to use more animations than the basic ones.
·When a character exits a scene running, the animation doesn’t match with the time.
I would do; @CHAR exits (side) in (time) AND CHAR is run_athletic_neutral_loop
Things that I liked:
·I loved the idea of adding a Q&A for Jasmine, it is very original and it makes you get to know the main character better.
·Also loved that the main character is not the typicall American chick. I love how she’s from a foreign country and she’s proud of it, since she has mentioned it multiple times through out the story.
·You let the reader choose Jasmine’s outfits.
That costs time that you could use to keep directing and it’s mainly for make the reader have a more pleasant experience. I think it’s a nice detail.
This is a review made by me, lena. If you disagree with the things mentioned above, it’s fine. This is a constructive criticism based on my opinions.
·Extras
The extras in the Principal’s speech scene are too many and makes the story very laggy. I would try making the extras as overlays and zoom more to the main characters so the readers focus on there. Also, if you zoom to the main characters of the scene, you wouldn’t have to use many extras. (In CH1)
· *The “This story uses music & sound” background.
I would put Will closer to the camera and use another background that suits better.
·In the break, that it lets you choose Beverly’s uniform, the background is black.
Using a locker room as background would make it look better. (In CH2)
· Text Effects.
I would add more text effects to your story. They give more life to the story and it doesn’t bore you while reading the story.
Things that I liked
·Your story has music & sounds
Everyone loves stories that have music and sounds, it makes them more enjoyable.
·You didn’t use much Episode Original backgrounds
I love Beverly’s room!
·The introduction.
OMG I LOVED IT SO DAMN MUCH! It is such an original idea and it gives a lot of professionalism to the story. It makes the story seem a lot more advanced.
·The students files.
It makes you know the main and secondary characters a lot! It is also a very original idea.
I think that your story has a lot of potential and I would love to see more people liking it!
This is a review made by me, lena. If you disagree with the things mentioned above, it’s fine. This is a constructive criticism based on my opinions.
I’d like one: Also, I know I have some overlay misplacements in the second episode.
Story: Dare to Kiss!
Author TamiRose
Genre Romance/Comedy
Description Neoni, independently strong, confident and all about her business. But, that all changes when a nosy spy unnecessarily enters her life. Will she get rid of him or fall in love?
·In the CC, whenever you put “Done” the music resets.
When you are choosing the MC’s (for example) mouth and you press the choice “done”, the music plays from the start. This is a common error that is made because you might preview your story without sound and you don’t notice this mistake. It is bothering for the ones that love music & sound in the stories!
To fix this, I would put the label of the CC after putting the music.
·The “This story uses music & sound” warning
It would look nicer if you make a background instead of putting a character listening music with a normal background.
·Unnecessary choices
Things I liked
·The CC
Like I said with a previous review, those kind of things like letting the reader customize your character, choose your outfit, etc. make the story more enjoyable and professional. It takes your time that you could use for writing. It is a detail that I always appreciate as a reader.
·Music & Sounds
Everyone loves when a story uses sounds & music! It doesn’t bore you and it gives more energy to the story.
·Male MC
In Episode, there aren’t many stories with male MC. This gives your story an unique touch. It is very awesome to have more stories with male MC.
·Let readers choose the MC’s outfit.
·The scenes inside the MC’s mind
This is a review made by me, lena. If you disagree with the things mentioned above, it’s fine. This is a constructive criticism based on my opinions.
Hello! This is a message for everyone that’s on the waiting list. I’m out of passes so I won’t be reviewing until tomorrow. Thank you for your patience!
Name of your story: The Color
Author: Rebecca Isabel
Number of chapters: 3
Approximate length of each chapter: 10 minutes (depending on which chapter you read )
Of course! Actually, my reviews are more based on the directing more than the story itself since I believe that every story is unique in its own way. However, I review both. But of course I can review only the directing for your story!
Description: They said your mother was crazy. But they were wrong. She was the only one who saw them coming. The witches are here and they are on a hunt…
Yes please then! I know some of the things are hanky-- but it’s really difficult! My story is called A Certain Love. I have Instagram for it: @jo_episodestoryteller Could you let me know when you will do it? I saw your waitlist. And thank you for deciding to do this.
I’d appreciate your help
)