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Story Name: Death’s Game (EP 3 not complete yet!)
Author: Sana Mansoor
Genre: Fantasy
Summary: “Death has been a long feared aspect of life but what happens when people suddenly stop dying and you find yourself in another realm. Could you be the key to breaking this curse?”
Review, Critique, or both: Both please
Cover:
Anything else I should know?: I accidentally published the story, the first two episode are complete but I’m still working on the third one, also, currently the cover is in review.
Side note: Thank you sooo much for your time. Your review will be greatly appreciated!
My story Title: The AvenTeens Author: stormwolf Style: Limelight Genre: comedy/action Chapters: 3 (not out yet, wanted review before !) Description: You’ve just recently learned that you have to share your room with two alien allies as well as training to be the next superhero of your planet to save the earth. CC* Instagram: stormwolf.epi Review, critique, or both: Both, please Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5334761423110144 Cover:
In EXT. CAR CRASH - DAY, the scene where the you show a bunch of superheroes, there’s a person in zone 2 I think that’s very small and in the distance but is layered over someone bigger and closer to the front of the screen.
Before going to INT. ISLAND BEDROOM - DAY zoom reset.
I’d add the overlay to the background so that it doesn’t the transition from the last scene to the next looks smoother, it should look like this:
INT. ISLAND BEDROOM - DAY with ALARM SCALE SHIFT SHIFT
@[NAME] spot ZYC in zone 1 AND [NAME] faces right
When the MC Is changing I’d zoom in on her.
In the scene where we see all the new recruits, Daniel is a layer below blake. I think he should be a layer above.
Overall I think that the main problem is proportions, in certain scenes, some people are tremendously bigger than others.
Your story is very nice, and I’m glad you’re putting the costumes episode made to a creative use.
Story Name: My perfect man Author: Kayiee Genre: Comedy Summary: Your character has a bestie named Lei, Daughter of the CEO of Chua company, while YOU, Are the missing daughter of the largest company held in the country and second in worldwide. Entered an Elite university. No exceptions. And then you met this guy who was almost perfect. Except the attitude. And made a circle of friends, when Lei’s dad called her for an important reason. Lian knew all the time but he is afraid to tell the truth because of You. It’s an arranged marriage. Meanwhile, Lei has no idea that you are falling for Lian and invited you to the Engagement party, and you had no choice. What is going to happen to their friendship?
(This summary is last minute btw) Review, Critique, or both: Both Cover:
Story Name: Between me and the sea Author: Bertha Genre: Mystery Summary: This story narrates how Ana’s little brother Matthew was drowned to death during their parent’s wedding. Even though everybody was present in the crime scene, nobody saw anything. The police closed the case considering it a suicide or just an accident. Ana dosen’t buy it, so she’ll try to find clues by herself. Things get complicated when Ana becomes the first suspects of a private investigator her parents hired. Fin love, find clues, and, find the responsible. Review, Critique, or both: Both Cover: Anything else I should know: Tap slowly please, I use overlays and advanced directing. And I also use music and sounds in case you want a deeper experience. Oh, and delicate subjects are treated (death).
Your story is honestly pretty original, and it’s nice to find a fresh Idea when there are so many stories on Episode today.
In EXT. GRAVEYARD - DAY, you can change the opacity as the tear is falling down so it’s disappearing as it falls down.
IE: &overlay TEAR opacity 0 in 3 @overlay TEAR shifts to XYZ in 3
In EXT. KARAOKE ROOFTOP - NIGHT you could zoom in a little faster. Also to the right of the character you zoomed in on, there are people kissing that aren’t layered over each other.
The scene where the woman is running it’d be better to use a looping background so it looks like she’s moving.
Make sure you’re transitioning in and not out in the scene where the woman is holding the baby,
The zoom-in could be faster in the scene where we see Violet.
The scene at the airport, I’d remove the people behind violet as they look like they are floating.
Also Maybe have Violet facing right so she doesn’t look like she is walking backward.
When Violet helps the crying kid you could zoom in on where Violet is walking to so you don’t see her walking over the chairs.
When Violet is in her Office make the table bigger so it’s more the proportions are more accurate.
When Riri walks into the Office and Violet walks up to her, have violet walk off-screen to the right. Then move her a layer above the table, make her bigger and have her walk back on screen.
In the scene after the office, I’d make sure all the characters are placed before coding any commands or anything so that they don’t pop up slightly after you go to that scene.
There’s a woman in the first zone of the scene who is doing the animation walk_worried_loop and I think it’d look better to have her do idle_armscrossed_awkward_loop.
In that same scene, there’s a woman looks to be standing on a couch I’d out her somewhere so she looked like she was standing on the floor.
When Violet gets home and hugs her mom, her mom isn’t facing the right way.
At the party, there’s a person covering Violet.
Overall you could zoom when there a conversation going on between two characters.
These are mere opinions that are meant to be taken with a grain of salt, fixing these things in your story isn’t mandatory and your story is fine without them.
From what I gather the story isn’t meant to be taken too seriously and it makes it makes critiquing it more obscure, as far as I can tell the story is good, but some things that I felt could be fixed is.
When [NAME] is at EXT. ABANDONED HOME - NIGHT zoom in on her when she says she’s lost.
I’d add the overlay to the Background so it doesn’t delay when it shows up.
IE: INT. BLACK with OVERLAY to SCALE SHIFT SHIFT
From what I’ve seen your story is very good, I like that you use advanced zooming and directing as well as the use of overlays.
In EXT. CITY HIGHWAY LOOP - DAY You could zoom in on Camila and Izzy as they as they talk in the car.
In INT. EURO HOTEL ROOM FLIPPED - NIGHT the hair tappable overlay isn’t working I’m not sure if it isn’t supposed to but in case you didn’t know I figured it’d be best to tell you.
These are minor things that don’t really affect the overall quality if the story.
Hi, thank you so much for this thread!
I just published my second story and I’d really like a review.
Name: Behind the Scenes
Genre: Romance
Author: Amelia
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5147207544274944
Plot: After years of being a struggling actress, you finally get a role that is going to change your life. Will your infamous co-star, Alec Pierce, be able to change your views on love?
Review, Critique, or both: Both
Number of episodes: 3
Instagram: Ameliamason.episode
In EXT. DUTCH COLONIAL HOME - DAY instead of doing: @CHARACTER1 starts animation @CHARACTER2 starts animation
You can do: @CHARACTER1 starts animation AND CHARATCER2 starts animation
When Karina exits the screen drag her to the right of the screen until she isn’t showing, copy that code and add walks to and change the time to 3 so it’d be like: @KARINA spot 123 345 in 0
Then make it: @KARINA walks to spot 123 345 in 3.
Make Karina and Mark bigger.
if do INT. MUSIC AGENT OFFICE DESK OL - DAY with INT. MUSIC AGENT OFFICE DESK OL - DAY, you can move the desk. Put Abby a layer below the desk and Karina a layer above it.
When Mark walks into the room, zoom in on Karina.
You said you were a beginner I think these resources quite useful:
Your story is very good so far, and I like that the plot is clear.
At INT. PHILADELPHIA BEDROOM - DAY, when you go to the customization, have the MC walks to the middle of the screen instead of gliding.
In the same scene when the MC walks away from the scene after the customization, have her walk to that spot while doing walk_neutral_rear then doing the think_neutral animation.
IE: @YOU walks to spot ABC ZYC in 3 AND YOU does it while walk_neutral_rear AND YOU faces right THEN YOU faces left
YOU
Now I should change clothes.
In INT. DINING ROOM RESIDENTIAL - DAY when the MC hugs her mom she should be shifted slightly more to the right.
Looking at your story, it’s got a fresh look to it, and it’s honestly very interesting. I like that you use overlays subtly to give it a more realistic look like when the MC is sitting with her mom and Cindy and there’s a coffee table overlay, and very subtle but it shows how much work you put into making your story the best it can be.
In EXT. DAD’S HOUSE - DAY when the dad gets up, have him walk to the spot while doing do transition_squat_to_stand_neutral.
IE: @DAD walks to spot XYZ AB in 1 AND DAD does it while transition_squat_to_stand_neutral
In INT. LA APARTMENT - NIGHT have Cindy sit slightly higher.
In INT. LA APARTMENT - DAY make everyone a little smaller.
After looking at your story, I don’t really see anything wrong with this story and it’s coding. There’s only one minor thing that would change although it’s not necessary, and it won’t really change the overall quality of the story.
In EXT. JULES HOUSE - DAY when Ray walks to the step of the house that part could be a little slower.
You story is very good, and I can see that you put time into it.
