This is the link to my story, Court of High Tide. I’ve put a lot of work into these first three episodes, and would like feedback and criticism to make them perfect. Anything from grammar to story line, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Hiya! I can do this for you! 
That would be wonderful, thank you!
Great! I’ll pm you when I’ve read it all
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I can share a little feedback too!
Perfect, thank you so much!
Hello everyone! I have officially finished the first three episodes of my story, and am almost ready to publish. I would just love it if someone could read the first three episodes and, being as harsh as possible, let me know what you think! The fourth episode is still heavily under construction, so don’t read it if you’re not willing to put up with a lot of errors. Thank you so much!
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I’ll read it for you! I’m a little busy at the moment, but I’ll be sure to check it out later.
Could you tell me what your story is about?
Woah why would you wish for others to be as harsh as possible?
That would be so great! It’s about a girl named Cas who gets transported to a different world back in time where magic exists. I have a lot of plans for things to come, and don’t worry about getting to it immediately, I am in absolutely no rush. <3
I just want my story to be as perfect as I can make it, and if people are worried about hurting my feelings, I’m not going to get totally honest reviews. I absolutely LOVE your profile picture by the way!
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constructive criticism, love.
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it sounds awesome, I’ll check it out as soon as possible.
Thank you 
Oh I get it now.
This Definitely made me curious. I’d check out your story and get back to you. You don’t have to worry much because I’m not a picky reader 
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Hey, I just started reading your story, it’s in ink?
Hey, I’ve just finished reading what you’ve written so far. Your story was truly very interesting, and I had fun reading it.
However, I would like to point out a few things that I’ve noticed. Your biggest problem would be the use of commas, Oxford commas, and things like exclamation marks, question marks, and periods. Although you’ve put in the periods in place, there were some places where you’ve missed out. This isn’t really an issue as it is barely noticeable, but I know some people would get mad at it.
Another thing I’d like to mention is when Cas gets released from being behind bars and gets put into a room by Fei. She says “I fell asleep before Fei could come back with food” or something along those lines. But I believe she didn’t know Fei’s name at that point. I could be wrong and might’ve missed the mention of her name, but I just thought I should let you know.
A few other places I’ve noticed mistakes are:
The first picture is from the fourth episode, and I’m aware that you said it’s still heavily under construction, but I just wanted to let you know.
In the second picture, you’re usually supposed to add an oxford comma after the word “fat”.
The third picture, you have to put a comma after the sentence: “when we played in the ocean”.
In the fourth picture, you have to add another comma after “Harrisburg”.
In the fifth one, you should add a comma after “Park”.
The sixth picture is added because I personally don’t understand what it says.
And the last picture, I believe you forgot to add “I” after “if”
There were a few other grammar mistakes here and there, so I suggest you use this link where that person explains what to do: Dear Authors: Struggling with grammar? Can't find proof readers?
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But all that aside, your story was very interesting and I’m looking forward to what happens next.
I can do it. though I have to finish an r4r first. so I can check it in a couple of hours , maybe before depend on how long the chapters are
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Really great feedback, I hadn’t noticed those errors. Thank you so much!
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ur welcome!