Hiii My name is Achu (Ok that not my name but who cares)
Ok so I am writing my first story and need some
reviews , advise etc.
SO here it is
Author Name : Achu
Story Description : Anchal is a feared assassin on earth.
Due to an accident she teleported to another world.
And now she is trying to find herself and the lost princess within all this craziness
Genre : Fantasy
**The title **: The lost princess
I know the cover is not that good I drew it myself
I really hope you like it and go a little easy on me I am a little new
Do you have an insta account for your story?
Okay, it looks good, but sometimes I was like “what’s going on?” Everything went a little fast. And this may sound a bit harsh, but if you are not really good at English you can ask someone to check the spelling. Sorry if I guessed wrong. You may also want to use a few periods at the end of a sentence. For the rest, I really liked it.
So I read the first 3 chapters, as I was low on tickets and so far it seems a bit fast and I didn’t understand much in the first chapter because of the speed. Also the sizing of the characters were very large, (I was havingthat problem while wirting my first story currently and I would recomend using spot directing) Also the chapters were short, very short so maybe make them longer then 5mins? That’s just my critics on the bad stuff.
So the good parts you seem to have really good characters. Meaning they have a developed personality, style and details such as Anchal. So that’s good you also have good zooms. Also the dialouge was pretty goood but it could be longer so readers can register the information. And the reactons you used were good.
Hope that helps
Thank you for you honest review
And I know my spellings are really bad
I’ll do something about that
And that story was really fast because I was scared that readers will get bored by reading a slow story so I thought I could speed things up to keep readers interested
I love the fact that you were honest. thank you so much
Thank you so much
And this is my very first story and I did not have any help with the direction and all
So I do understand what you are saying
But as you go further my directions become a little better
I am still trying to learn new things
But its a little hard to learn from youtube but I know that is not an excuse
I’ll work on it
thank you for giving me your time
Np and I think you have a really good story based on the plot. Have a good day
I get you! I am also writing a story myself and have decided to make my 1st episode a bit longer than the rest (20 min). It’s best to do this in the first chapter because it’s free (no pass) and people have to decide if they have a good idea what the story is about. That’s why I made some scenes longer so that I can put more information in them. I fully understand the spelling struggle. English is not my first language and I also have dyslexia. But maybe you can revamp the first episode and make it a little longer. This is not necessary, it is just a tip. Good luck with the rest of your story !!!
I totally agree with the good parts…
I can promise you that It’s a crazy story.
You don’t have to make them 20 min btw just a little longer ( I just like 20 min for my story)
No I understand that readers have to give passes to read stories so I don’t want to waste their passes I’ll improve the length of the upcoming chapters
Hi so I read up to a certain chapter I think 6 or 7 and it is stuck at this part and it said “pan to zone 4” I think you meant to put @pan to zone 4?
Oh in that you have to click on the screen and scrool it to zone 4
Like the dressing games
I can’t scroll though, It’s stuck on that screen and won’t pan to the other side. Usually for the dressing game it would pan but it’s not for me. Idk if it’s a android thing or maybe just my phone.
“i need to get outta these heals” haha! love that!
1- Maybe get a proof reader, lovely! without grammer & right spelling the reader could get confused.
2- Also maybe put sh*t instead of the uncenser verison because episode could actually flag that and your story could get removed.
3-You could add a backstory? maybe some details about the MCs past, more info about her so the reader can understand her situation.
4-Zane is hot, good job on that
5-“One of the mafias snitched on me” that doesn’t exactly make any sense since that’s not how the mafia works, maybe do a little bit of research prior?
6- “i ain’t giving you money why should i” yeah… let’s not try & guilt trip the readers.
7-The first chapter defo needs more details added on to it.
Ok so my honest opinion is that i think you have great ideas but not the best diolouge (not sure how to spell that) i would consider getting a proof reader (a proof reader is someone who corrects all mistakes, you can find them on the forums or someone on instagram, or maybe a friend. I think the story is going wayyyy to fast… Anywho, that’s really all. Hope you consider the proof reader situation! all the best of luck in the future. <3