Thanks for the feedback…
Hey there, @natalie81400! Thank you for creating this thread. I’d love a review! I’d also love to read your story! Here are my story details:
Title: Silhouettes
Author: aprilish
Genre: Fantasy/Romance
Style: Ink
Blurb: Arion’s ready to risk it all to make her dreams come true. Leslie sees him every day, yet fails to recognize who he is. Watch them fall in love…without ever meeting each other.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6116658762874880 1
My Instagram: @aprilish.episode
Thank you so much! Looking forward to hearing your feedback! 
I hope you’ll like it
Hi, I would love a review of my story. I just published it!
Title: 12 nights
Author: Ameerah
Genre: Comedy
Style: limelight
Description: Things get messy when Viola, a private investigator, is assigned to go undercover at college for 12 nights.
link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5175675516747776
instagram: ameerah_reads
I hope you like it!
I’ll give your story a read as well.
Title: Struggles of Life
Author: Sakshi
Number of Episodes: 15
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5913318221676544
Moved to Share Feedback section as that’s where review threads live! 
About: Time travel
Genre: Mystery, Horror, Fantasy
Episodes completed: 2
Author age: 14
. Please read this small child’s first story 
LINK: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6177474080014336
1 Like
Grammar: 3
Directing: 3.8
Plot: 3.7
Length: 4
Cover: 4
Overall: 18.5/25= 74%
I like how you introduce the whole family, it makes it seems more realistic and dynamic. I do wish that you showed Sandy’s story about her pregnancy through a flash back to know how traumatic it was. Normally I don’t like the "woke up late to school? entrance but since it’s about a struggling mother it makes sense for this plot. Also in episode 2 the phrase should be, "He doesn’t deserve you."How you wrote it made it backwards lol. I love that choices actually make an impact, even after multiple episodes, that was really well done!
1 Like
Grammar: 3.5 (capitalize your “I’s” in a sentence)
Directing: 4
Plot: 3.8
Length: 4.1
Cover: 4
Overall: 19.4/25= 77.6%
I like that the reader is left in some suspense over what is going on with Avery and her past, especially during her reaction to her friend Lisa about her father. Noah’s behavior is a little awkward in the beginning, since he just sort of pops up and is there when it’s convenient like at the park. During their first introduction I’d put more detail in his character for more suspense to get the reader interested in what’s hiding behind him like a reason why he finds Avery so attractive. In episode 2 Avery is left on the (talk_angry) and it’s awkward when Laura is talking but Avery is still ‘talking’, I’d put an “@ AVERY starts idle_armscrossed_angry_loop” to make it a bit cleaner. Overall it’s good, but I would put more emphasis on Noah’s motives, put more backstory into the mystery by leaving “bread crumbs” for the readers.
1 Like
Grammar: 4
Directing: 3.8
Plot: 3.9
Length: 3.2
Cover: 4.2
Overall: 19.1/25= 76.4%
I like in the beginning it starts with a lot of action and suspense. When she moves to NY, I recommend instead of explaining in dialogue how her boss is and the responsibilities that through actions it’s explained. Like having her boss show Serena around. The episode was a bit short, you could have definitely emphasized Serena and Gideon’s first interaction more to make it more dramatic and important for the reader. Same thing in episode, drag out the dancing scene a lot more to make it more interesting. Overall the story line is good, you just need to make sure you SHOW and not tell, especially in the beginning when it’s the reader’s first impression of the character dynamic and that’s when they get their opinions on whether it’s worth it to be invested in the story or not.
1 Like
Thank you so much for your feedback.
Hey! Thanks for reading it!
I didn’t want to add too much scenes about her past because I want to focus on the present and the impacts but I’ll try (its a good idea)
For the entrance, it was a way to introduce the characters. Like shes a single mother who has to take care of her kids and its so stressing that she forget to do some stuffs like school. But I understand what you mean!
And, sorry for the grammar haha! I’m French Canadian lol but I’ll fix that!
Thank you very much for your time for writing this review, I highly appreciate it! You have been very helpful and your comments are straight to the point, thank you very much!
I have also started reading your story and I must say that I am really enjoying it!
Topic closed due to one month of inactivity.