I'll read you story + Feedback💕 {CLOSED!}

Community Promote Your Story
246

You’re welcome. Glad I could help. :heartbeat:

1 Like
247

Hey, @Katherine_Gray just finished your first episode.
By the way, you should also be really proud of what you have produced! Another fab first episode :clap::heartbeat:.
Feedback : Your transitions were amazing! Each scene flowed perfectly and the transitions made that even better. I also loved the custom backgrounds that you used throughout that episode as well. Your dialogue was funny and really engaging. I also loved the build up of tension which you created too. The way this episode was structured was really clever. As a reader, I obviously want to know what happened between kelsey and hannah. I also want to know who sent those messages to her. Your plot build up was great and I’m eager to continue to read.
Your narration was also so amazing, and I love detailed narration in episodes so you definitely caught my eye with your narrating skills.
Improvements: Instead of the character walking the screen left, pan to your desired zone while the character walks to the spot; you could place the character in a spot of your choice (making sure that they are the same size as they are at the starting spot and the ending spot) and pan to the zone in the same period of time the character walks to the spot. What you’ve done is fine, but if you try to do what I said the character won’t have to walk slightly upwards, then walk to the zone #.
In the Joe’s bar scene, I couldn’t tell what side each pair was sitting on. Mainly because for example, kelsey would face right but her other best friend would face right too as if she wasn’t a talking to her. Maybe go back and check the face directions of them during that particular scene babe?
Also this one was small, but I’m the queen of observation so I spotted it.
‘nobody didn’t save her, so now shes trying to save everybody else’ (sorry if this isn’t the exact line of dialogue) anyway, hannah says this when kelsey approaches her for bullying that poor guy again. Instead, it should say ‘nobody saved her, so now she takes it upon herself to save everybody else.’
Overall, I absolutely loved that episode and I will 100% continue to read!
Amazing job babe, you should be pleased with yourself. :two_hearts::two_hearts:

1 Like
248

thank you so much hun :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: i’ll fix it and i’m glad you like my story so far
hope you like the next chapters

1 Like
249

You’re welcome babe. :heartbeat:

250

Hi! Would love to get your feedback :grinning:
Tittle: Taken II: SOLO
Author: xoRoséxo
Genre: Action/Drama
Chapters: 3
Description: After running away, Sophia hide from the mafia world to protect her secret. 7 years later, her past life starts to show up. Will she fight or flight from it this time?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5202809227247616
Instagram: xoroses.episode
Taken_Going_SOLO_posterThumb_dlBLHpXFKU

1 Like
251

Hiya, @Gazza_Episode I just finished reading the first episode of your story.

Click to view your feedback!

Feedback: You provided the reader with an opportunity to customise the mc, along with allowing them to put their own name too. I also really liked the overlays which you used throughout that episode and your spot directing was generally good too.
Also, I liked the way which you did your introduction. Making it seem like the MC’S suggestions were ‘impossible and out of this world’ yet they teleport somewhere. It was rather ironic and you nailed it.
Improvenents: At the begining, some of the speech bubbles were above Charlie’s head so you might wanna go ahead and fix that. Also, when he walked to another spot, he wasn’t facing the right direction when talking to her. It kinda fixed after CC but I would still advise you to have a look. Some characters had no shoes on even though they were outside. Also, there were quite a few issues with the layering of the characters. When those group of boys walked towards the area where the police were investigating the rock, they were walking at layer 0 (assuming the police were at layer 2), and then when they had walked to their spots they popped up to layer 5. Make sure that you layer them correctly before they walk to a spot.
Finally, I think you should use more transitions because when Charlie came back and said he was fired, there were no transitions used from when the Mc walked to the kitchen to when that scene happened which was a little confusing.
Overall, I found your story to be quite unique and I’ll definitely continue reading!
Well done babe.
-Tosin :clap::two_hearts:

1 Like
252

Hey hun, you may have to wait a day or 2 for some feedback.
Also I loved your description but I think you meant to say ‘hid’ or ‘hides’. Either one would fit the sentence. :two_hearts:

253

Hey @Callme_80, just finished the first episode of your by the way, insanely advanced directed story.
You should be really proud of what you’ve produced. That directing was just
 Whew. :sob:
Okay, now on to the feedback!
I thought it was so much effort having to scroll up just to find everyone’s own feedback so I’ll be doing it like this now. :sweat_smile:

Click to view your feedback!

Feeeback: Your directing was breathtaking. Usually authors would put that advanced directing warning, only to find out that the only advanced thing they did was @CHARACTER enters from right to screen center. You in the other hand, really did mean it! The zooms were on point! The spot directing was perfectly accurate too. The fact that you gave the opportunity for readers to read it in black and white to match the storyline or in color, was fantastic! You are clearly amazing at coding and I really hope that if this story hasn’t been continued, that you continue to update. I was literally laughing throughout that episode. Peace is so funny :sob:.
Improvements: There was only one as this story was far too advanced to be reviewed however, I like to be observant and point out even the tiniest things.
Okay, so, I noticed that there would be a speech bubble of dialogue insinuating that the character was supposed to be speaking. But you used the flirt_liftchin_receive_shy animation for it. Maybe try use a similar animation that makes the character appear to be speaking, to make it more realistic.
Overall, I absolutely loved that episode. It was humorous and well written and directed.
I hope that you’re pleased with your work because it was amazing and deserves more recognition.
Well done babe!
-Tosin J. :two_hearts::clap::heartbeat:

1 Like
254

Hi! I appreciate you for creating this thread, please check out my first story called Quarantine Lovers!! :>

Title: Quarantine Lovers
Author: Isabela Katrina
Genre (s): Romance, mystery and comedy
Description: It all began with a dating app. You fall in love and you think you’re settled for life. Or are you? With a mysterious online stalker, can you free yourself? (CC+LL+M/F)
Link to my story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4854998971383808
Instagram handle: @episode.isabela

There are 3 episodes so far, but episode 4 is coming very very soon! I hope you enjoy reading it <3

1 Like
255

Gawd you’ll make me cry! :sob::sob::sob::sob:
-I get what you mean by the animation thing and I honestly wish there were more but for now I just have to use these :persevere:.

U lit. Made my day, maybe even my week! TYSFM :blob_hearts: And yess new episodes coming out ASAP

Edit: Feel free to check up my updates on @episode_80 /@epi_80 as well as #SmokeThenLollipopsEpisode :wink:

1 Like
256

I’ll definitely check those out when published!!
And yeah, they really should make more of those kinda animations for talking.
And you’re welcome! That story was hilarious :joy:.

1 Like
257

Okay I’ll follow you on ig then :kissing_heart:.

1 Like
258

Hai!
Just popping up and let you guys know about my new story!
It’s available in both INK and Limelight.

Title : Dark shades
Author : KM
Genre : Thriller/Drama
Chapters : 6 (more coming soon)
Style : Limelight+Ink
Description : It all started with a rumor when her life took a turn. Love, games and heartache in return. Some are destined being together others not. Like they say, I dare you.
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5757919755960320
http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4794746842316800

Dark_shades_INK_posterThumb_lFSDUEJ3LA

1 Like
259

Hey @charlottestories, just finished the first episode of your story.
Also, there seems to be so many great stories today! Yours was one on them. You should be extremely proud of what you have produced babe. :heartbeat:
Anyway, feedback time.

Click here to view your feedback!

Feedback : I absolutely loved each and every overlay used in this episode. The way you coded each one was amazing. I know for a fact I wouldn’t have had the determination to be able to animate and code those overlays the way you did that’s for sure!
Your spot directing was amazing. I also liked how you eased in the customization into the story so we could see how you had envisioned Scarlet. Your narration was so nicely detailed and I gathered so much information from that episode.
I liked how you started your episode with the history of the realm of magic, it made me understand the concept of the story.
I’ve barely read any fantasy stories but this was probably my fave fantasy story I’ve read.
Improvements : This episode was so amazing, so the only thing I could think of is maybe some background history of Scarlets parents when you did the flashback of how her current mother found her. (If one of the magic Queens that died were her parents, then I do apologise :sweat_smile:)
Overall, this episode was absolutely fantastic and you should be extremely impressed with your work!
Well done hun.
-Tosin J. :heartbeat::two_hearts::clap:

1 Like
260

Hiya, your story will be read and reviewed in a day or 2 as I have a long waiting list atm. :two_hearts:

1 Like
261

Wow! Thank you for your feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed it! I will be revealing more information about her parents in a much later episode but I’ll definitely try to make it more clear :revolving_hearts: thanks for taking the time to read and write this review! I appreciate it a lot :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like
262

That’s great to hear! And, you’re welcome! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like
263

Hey @mt.episode, just finished the first episode of your story :heartbeat:.

Click here to view your feedback!

Feedback: I liked the way that you structured your customization. I thought it was smart for you to use that method to save the reader the trouble of customising the MC’S twin.
You used transitions which some people forget to do, which made your scenes look generally smooth.
You also gave the reader the chance to CC their family.
Improvements: I know you’re a new author but that episode was far too short for me. I don’t usually continue stories of the author has only given me a 2 to 4 minute episode. You’d probably get away with doing that as you created a good sense of suspense and tension during that episode, so I will continue reading merely because of that. Also, the speech bubbles were on the wrong characters during the intro scene of shooting. I didn’t spot any spelling errors but do remember to put full stops at the end of your sentences. I also did notice that in the next day scene, the guy at the front desk popped into the scene instead of already being present like the o Yr hers. You might wanna go back and make sure that you used the & command for his spot placement.
Overall, for a new writer you’re doing pretty good. I’m sure You’ll improve with time.
Well done babe.
-Tosin J. :heartbeat::heartbeat:

1 Like
264

Hey thanks for doing this : )

Title: My Last Three Days
Author: Jordan
writes
Genre: Romance
Episodes: 3 (completed)
Style: Ink
Description: With three days left to live Ruby meets Alana and together they learn what it feels like to live. Female MC Female LI choices matter
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5609101705019392

1 Like
265

No prob honey.
I’m updating the waiting list in an hour so I’ll tag you so you can be aware of when I’ll get to you. :heartbeat:

1 Like