I'll read you story + Feedback💕 {CLOSED!}

[tosinx]

Hiya @anae, just finished the first episode of your story

Click here to view your feedback!

Okay, so I think you already know that that episode was extremely short so I won’t even bother going into detail about that, just try to make them longer in the future.
Okay, first of all I was literally so confused for that entire episode. You didn’t even introduce the Mc, the only thing I knew was that she was half werewolf. The description gave more information than the episode itself. I feel like it was also very rushed. One minute the MC is telling me how she has been abused and then she’s running away!
I would highly advise you to go over that episode and provide a little more info. Because I was honestly puzzled.
Also, I think that you should use spotlight. This is because you had too much narration and I was staring at a black screen with trees for 2 minutes and that episode was roughly only 4 minutes. Readers want to see the characters and their actions and the only exception I could make for that is if it was a spotlight story ; which it wasn’t.
Your spot directing was kinda messy. The characters would pop up onto the screen occasionally, and they would be idle for a second then they’d be angry.
Overall, I would recommend watching some yt videos for coding. You can also feel free to pm me for help too. Or, you could have a look deeper into the forums as it is extremely helpful for new authors like yourself.
Good luck hun.
-Tosin J .

[episode_katherinee]

Hello @tosinx! Thanks for creating this thread!

Congratulations on writing this far on your story! I will definitely go and check it out today!

Here is my story and it would mean a lot if you could check it out even if it is only one episode…

The Best Stories Are Worth Sharing: Call of Duty

[tosinx]

Hi babe, thank you!
Also, I’ll be updating the waiting list in roughly 45 minutes so I’ll tag you so you know how long it’ll take me to get to you.

[episode_katherinee]

Omg thank you so much for giving my story a chance! You can take as much time as you like! You just made my day!

[tosinx]

Hey @sophiemepisode, just finished the first episode of your story.

Click here to view your feedback!

Feedback : You explained the lifestyle and history of the island really well. You also have the chance for readers to customize the Mc which was pretty good too. Your spot directing was pretty good, along with your directing. For a first episode, you had a generous amount of choices which is great for readers as it makes things more interactive. I also liked all the custom backgrounds which you used throughout that episode.
Improvements : I think that you should have included a little more transitions. Also, some of your zooms were a little messy, for example, the intro zooms. You should have done a zoom reset before panning on the title of the story as it would have made it look neater. Also, towards the end of the episode, I noticed that a speech bubble was above the head of a character. I can’t recall the name, but you might wanna have a look into that. Also, Sage said ‘women’ instead of ‘woman’ when she was expressing her anger because of the client that complained about the umbrella.
Overall, I think that your story has great potential and I will continue to read it in future.
Good job babe.
-Tosin J.

[sophiemepisode]

Thank you!! I already revamped the first three episodes, I’m just waiting for Episode to approve the backgrounds for the intro/outro! also English’s not my first language so that’s why there will be a few spelling mistakes haha but thank you for the feedback!!

[tosinx]

Hey everyone!
I am actually so exhausted, as I completed the waiting list 2 days earlier than I had planned.
(Only one person remaining though )
Anywho, I will now update the waiting list and tag all of those people who have recently requested for feedback.
Updated waiting list!
It’s 12:19 am in the UK rn, so I can’t be bothered to number the list. Just imagine the numbers please, and thanks…

@Starlight.episode
@maree_s
@episode.michellerose
@Aimalohi49
@Travelovex
@Zoe.Z
@Rj.R
@mimixx_episode
@Kira53
@Ni_shee
@Rose.xo_97
@episode.isabelaaa
@KM90
@Jordan0
@episode_katherinee

Please do let me know if I have forgotten to tag you. Also, let me know if you’d like to be removed from the waiting list too.

I like to give quality and detailed feedback, so some people will have to wait more than a day for feedback. Therefore, please don’t rush me as I personally think I try my best to do as many people as I can (I read 12 people’s today.)

Thank you!!!

[Starlight.episode]

GO TO SLEEP

thank you so much for doing this
take all the time you need

[tosinx]

Thank you girl
And my sleeping schedule is so fucked up. But I will happily get myself to bed now. I’ll do yours first thing tomorrow!

[tosinx]

It’s gotten to the point where 12:00 am is now my definition of an early night

[Starlight.episode]

faxs

this is my 7th acc all the rest got suspanded

[Starlight.episode]

dont ask

[tosinx]

Alright babe

[episode_katherinee]

Thank you so much for taking your time to reading all our stories! I appreciate it!!!

[Ni_shee]

Take your time. Thank you for doing this but take care first.

[mt.episode]

Thank you so much for your honest feedback!

[Episode.percenitygf]

Thank you

[Gazza_Episode]

Thank you! I’ll make sure those issues are fixed

[anae]

Thanks for reading! I know that first episode was short and um weird and I’m going to make it again. Now my coding is a lot better than in first episode. But thanks for your opinion it means a lot

[tosinx]

Yeah, it’s usually like that to begin with.
And you’re welcome.