I'm bored - I'm open to any recommendations on what to read

Hey, it’s been around a year since I logged into this forum (and Episode). I’m not too sure what to read so I’m open to any recommendations (yes, you can recommend your own story too). Just don’t spam this thread.

You can request I give feedback on your story if you want. But, note that my feedback will attempt to shed light on both positive and points of improvement (in my opinion). If you don’t want that, then just link your story down here. Please explicitly state you want feedback.

Cheers.

LIST FOR FEEDBACK:
Solarflare - Crystal A
Super Wolf Girl
TOC: Against All Odds

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Hiii! Thank you so much for this thread! It would mean the world to me if you read my story and gave me feedback on it :blush:

My story information:
“Through the Dark”

:fire: Description: Delilah, an assassin in a DARK dystopian world, has power but no control. Lucas, the only one who knows control, hates the league she works for. Together can they change the world?
:fire: Episodes: 6, ongoing (and I get them out quickly) episodes are 10-15 mins long
:fire: Genre: Fantasy, Dystopian, Mystery, Romance
:fire: Full CC
:fire: Art scenes (I do all the art myself)
:fire: No gem choices
:fire: My author account is Della if you are interested and I am up for a r4r!

Here is the link:
episodeinteractive.com

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Perfect. I’m going to read this now.

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Thank you for the recommendations! I’ll add them to my list.

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Hey ty for this thread! You can read my story “Destined Hearts” and give feedback! :heart:


Thank you for doing this

Who’s ready?

:rotating_light:TITLE The Last Witness

:rotating_light:Genre: Mystery

:rotating_light:Description: After a devastating fight, You lose your best friend. Now a relentless killer seeks to frame you. Can you expose the true murderer in Time? The clock is ticking…

2LI,NO\CC,CM.

:rotating_light:2LI

:rotating_light:Limited CC

:rotating_light:Choices

:rotating_light:Tappable Mini games/ Minigmes

:rotating_light:No point system

:rotating_light:Advance directing

:rotating_light:Bonus content

:rotating_light:Romance/None Romance

:rotating_light:Three endings

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here’s my story for a recommendation! :blush:

story link!

Hii, my Fabled story here :sweat_smile: I would love and super appreciate feedback, I plan to make edits to some of the earlier episodes.

Solarflare

Solarflare - Crystal A

Episode Writer Portal

Teamed with a mysterious magician, you’re propelled into a mystical world where magic reigns. Will you wield your newfound powers for the greater good or succumb to darker forces?

Here’s one of my stories in case you’re interested :slight_smile:

Title: My Only Temptation
Description: Rosalyn’s job gets her entangled with her best friend’s sinfully hot, mysterious & off-limits cousin - Emeric Wyles. When temptation becomes too much, will they risk it all?
Genre: Romance/drama
Tropes: Best friend’s cousin, forbidden romance, slow burn, small age gap
Available chapters: 8
LINK: Episode Writer Portal
IG: @kerli.writes
THE STORY INCLUDES:
:small_blue_diamond: Advanced directing/limb&body overlays
:small_blue_diamond: Choices matter/point system
:small_blue_diamond: Full CC
:small_blue_diamond: Art scenes
:small_blue_diamond: Only 1 male love interest
:small_blue_diamond: Protective, burn-down-the-world-for-you hero
:small_blue_diamond: 2 seasons
:small_blue_diamond: Multiple endings
:small_blue_diamond: Filters
:small_blue_diamond: Bonus content

Hi. Thanks for this post. Here’s my story below if interested (would love some feedback if you may like):

Title: Super Wolf Girl
Author: Tabitha Williams <3
Style: Limelight
Episodes: 20 (ONGOING)
Genre: Action
Description: Terronica becomes a hero for one night and then suddenly becomes the town of Bluewood’s favorite wolf hero ever. But will she save the town from evil foes?
Link: Episode Writer Portal
Cover is done by @mary_d_sava on instagram.

91E5B8C4-EB47-4120-B88D-943EAD2F1D77

To give feedback, I believe it’ll be fair to read the first 3 episodes to get a good idea of what I’m getting into.

Title: Through the Dark
Episodes: 6, ongoing.
Author: Laina

Summary:

Coding/Direction: 8/10
Visuals: 10/10
Plot: 8/10
Characters: 8/10
Writing: 7/10
Verdict: Will continue reading after the initial three episodes.

Comments:

Coding: Other than a few minor hiccups, the overall experience has been smooth and the immersion of this story isn’t broken. The song choices are on point and the transition from dramatic to lightbeat songs are gradual and not choppy. Any sudden loud sounds are intentional. Some minor hiccups I spotted included in Episode 3 when Aries walks in front of Lars during the family meeting. It could simply be a bug on the Episode portal.

Visuals: Viewer discretion warnings, the home screen as well as the overall aesthetics of the story communicate a certain dark intrigue, which I appreciate. Extra points for the originality. For example, during the first scene, our protagonist is clearly gagged up in some underground chamber, so I appreciate how the lighting conveys this. The use of overlays such as blood were believable as well. I only have a minor criticism regarding certain overlays, which is the lack of cohesion between the overlay and the setting. This can be improved with appropriate lighting. Below is an example.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

If you want to use the edited overlay, here’s the file:

camera

Plot: I like how this story takes the time for us to get to know our protagonist and love interest separately before delving into their eventual romance. That way, we are able to understand them as individual people. I have a lot of questions regarding the power system that I’m excited to know more about, such as: What are the powers of all the other colors other than Red and Purple? What makes Red and Purple so much more powerful than the other colors? Does that mean that the power you happen to have matters more than the application of said power? How did these beings come into existence? How are they seen by the general human society? My only criticism is that I understand the League as supposed to be an extremely imposing entity, but I don’t feel to my core that they’re extremely formidable. Perhaps this is because we only see the League is composed of our protagonist only. If the scale or power of the League is shown earlier, this would help with the immersion.

Characters: The first three episodes readily establishes our protagonist’s motivations and her identity. The love interest also has a veil of mystique as to who he is and why he despises the League so much. I appreciate that the author takes her time to flesh out the dynamic of the family. Despite being from the same family, we have a window to each person’s struggles: Aries, who strives to be a mediator because of him valuing family above all. Lars, who is stringently overprotective of his sister. Sam, who attempts to suppress and hides his powers. The older brother who has a lot to hide. Our main character who is loyal, the one who takes action, but also the one who tends to kickstart most of the conflict. What can be improved on is specified in the “Writing” section.

Writing: Generally, the descriptive elements makes for an extremely vivid read. I enjoyed how you described the searing pain the main character felt when she was kidnapped. Occasionally, some grammar mistakes like missing full stops and comma splices are sprinkled here and there, but nothing egregious.

Some examples:

(Episode 1, during the confrontation between our MC and Echoagent1) “As if he could sense that I was trying to restrain, the gun started to slide up my spine. It made its way to my neck and stopped, lifting my chin.” This reads weirdly since the gun didn’t lift the MC’s chin, the guy lifted her chin with a gun. I would suggest rewording it, something like: “As if he could sense my restraint, he started to slide the gun up my spine, making his way to my neck before tipping my chin.”)

Other minor examples include: “His smile dissipated as soon as he saw the look in my eyes, his lips twitched and face lost its color as he fiddled for something in his pocket.” Instead, “His lips twitched as soon as he saw the look in my eyes, his face drained of its color as he fiddled his pocket.” These are suggestions only.

Another point I would like to bring up is the timeline is a little confusing. We start the story going eight hours earlier. After that, we jump all the way to three weeks earlier. I’m not too sure where the story takes place. While the descriptive elements are awesome, the voice is (personally) a bit confusing. I understand the our MC is a narrator, someone who is narrating in retrospect (narrating past events with knowledge of the future). However, sometimes the way she describes the past events almost seems like she is in the present, which is why it confuses me.

While I love the diversity in each member’s motivation, a lot of what we know has been told to us through narration, which isn’t inherently terrible but I think it’ll be a lot more memorable if some parts are shown. Some of the narration can be cut out too, like when our MC tells us Aries values family above all. I think it’s apparent enough through their exchange.

Other comments: I appreciate the viewer discretion in front. Perhaps for the flashing scene, there’s a choice of viewing the scene without the the flashing lights, since the author acknowledged that this scene may be triggering to anyone who is photosensitive.

All in all, this was an extremely enjoyable read. Strong start for the first episode story I read in a year.

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Hello!
Thank you so much for doing this. I wrote my very first story and I am super excited to share it.
ToC: Against all odds
Ellie is just a side character in an episode game who is in love with the main character. But what happens when she finds out that she has a doom ending? Can she change her fate?

Please try it out and feel free to leave any type of feedback. Since it’s my first story I would like to get people’s perspective to improve upon it. Thank you!


Against All Odds

Title: Destined Hearts
Episodes: 3, ongoing
Author: cam_episode

Coding/Direction: 6/10
Visuals: 7/10
Plot: 6/10
Characters: 6/10
Writing: 5/10

Comments:

Coding: Generally, there are few coding errors, although sometimes the awkward stares can be mistaken as coding bugs because the implementation doesn’t seem intentional. For example, in Episode 1 when Maria is meeting the principal, her classmate (the one with the curly brown hair, not her roommate) stares at her awkwardly, presumably to height up the tension with meeting the principal. The animation doesn’t seem to reflect that. I think maybe a prolonged think animation can communicate that a) she’s staring at Maria for a long time and awkwardly, b) that something is on her mind that neither the reader nor Maria is privy to. Smaller things include layering Maria to be a layer in front of the person he punches (also Episode 1). It’s small and a little nitpicky, but these things contribute to the overall experience.

Visuals: The dorm background aesthetic is pretty cute. The flashback scene could use the Black and White filter in order to differentiate the events from the present. Generally, the scenes are easy on the eyes. The use of overlays for the food is also an awesome touch (it’s 8am and I haven’t ate breakfast yet, you’re making me hungry).

Plot: The idea of the plot is actually pretty neat, though the execution of the pacing could definitely be improved on. Points of improvement will be detailed in the “Writing” section.

Characters: Maria is the character we’re meant to get close to, but unfortunately I can’t say I have gotten to know her or developed a form of attachment to her. Beyond her history with Luis and her good girl traits, I don’t really know who she is. Even though I wanted to root for her, Episode 1 jumps from her previous school to her boarding school. The entire plot hinges on us rooting for her as she is unjustly plunged into boarding school and has to navigate her new school life. There is very little context as to who she is before boarding school as well as the series of events that led to the straw that broke the camel’s back. I think Episode 1 would be wholly dedicated to simply her life before being sent off to boarding school, which serves as the inciting incident and gives readers incentive to click on Episode 2.

Also, on Episode 2 when she drinks until she’s wasted feels out of the left field for me. Where did that jealousy come from? Yes, she did meet Luis but it was just a few cursory glances and a brief encounter. She remarks that he is familiar but beyond that he’s probably just a stranger. She may be curious, a bit uncomfortable, but I don’t think those encounters alone would justify something so out of her good girl character.

Writing: I would recommend you get a proofreader, or ask someone from the forums to proofread. The mistakes aren’t too distracting, but they aren’t far and few between. Some that I think are more important to correct is when Ms. King from Episode 1 yells, “Ladies office, now!” instead of “Ladies! Office. Now.” or “Ladies! My office. Now!” The lack of punctuation in the correct spots changes the meaning entirely. In the initial version, “Ladies office, now!” means that there is an office especially for the ladies. It isn’t clear who the sentence would be directed towards since we only know the subject is being told to go to the “ladies office.”

Generally, there are missing commas, “your” versus “you’re” mistakes, random capitalization errors to look out for. The same goes for the summary of your story as well, since the summary serves as a reader’s first impression of what you story contains. Some people openly state that the grammatical errors are distracting.

Beyond pacing, I believe the main thing that breaks my immersion is how seemingly archetypical all the characters are. At the moment, I can easily categorize Maria as “the good girl” and her roommate as the “outgoing, party girl” and Luis as the “heartbreaker bad boy.” There’s nothing wrong with using these archetypes but I think what helps differentiate one story from the other is the ability to have characters beyond their simple archetypes, which can be helped if more time is dedicated to a character individually. For example, why is Maria the “good girl”? Is it just her upbringing or something more? Then Episode 1 would be perfect for exploring that.

I know I haven’t commented much on Episode 3, mainly because I feel the event is only there for Maria to have another encounter with Luis. The key is while every event ultimately would serve the in moving the plot forward, the reader shouldn’t think that the scene is simply there to move the plot forward. It has to be rooted in that world’s logic, or a natural progression of events.

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Awww, :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciate it. The timing is definitely a little confusing the more I look at it, so I will revise and make edits! I hope you enjoyed! :fire: :blush:

i would LOVE any feedback you have- i’m open to constructive criticism!
if anyone could take the time to read this story, i would be so grateful, as i have poured a lot of blood sweat and tears into it!

Title: A Christmas Wish
Description: Alyssa Clarke has it all, until one Christmas turns her whole life upside down. She’s never been one of those small-town girls, until she becomes stranded in Snowy Ridge…
Chapters: 3 (ongoing)
Cover:

Thank you for the thread :heart:

Title: ANIMOSITY
Genre: Dark Fantasy
Chapters: 3 (Ongoing)
Description: An immortal mage, a rebellious teen, and a vampire framed for murder. It’s only a matter of time before they realize that everywhere they go marks a trail of fear and chaos.
Link: Episode Writer Portal
Instagram: @jcwhisper.writes

:heart::heart: I appreciate your review and your opinions! I’ll make edits to my story and hopefully it will run more smoother :sweat_smile:

Thanks for this thread! Here’s my story info if anyone’s interested!

Title: Partner and Crime

Author Episode.percenitygf

Instagram @Episode.percenitygf

GenreRomance

Only gem choice is to support the author at the end

Style Limelight

Episodes 6&7 out now (8-9coming soon)

Description
Kira, finally reunited with her family after being taken away at the age of 7, wonders what will happen when the past of her parent’s past comes back into the picture.

Link

episodeinteractive.com
Partner_and_crime_aw_posterThumb_91asL4nnjb

Hi, all. Reminder that, unless explicitly stated otherwise, I won’t provide feedback for your story.

For anyone who wants feedback, I will only read the first three episodes because of time constraints.

That being said, I’ll still read the story of those who took the time to share their stories here. Thank you <3

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