I'm CLOSED to proofread your story! (HONEST FEEDBACK)

Hi! I’m open to do proofreading: I’ll read 2 chapters of your story, and give you detailed and honest feedback on grammar, pace, plot, directing, narration/dialogue, etc.
I’m currently a reviewer too, so I’ve read a lot of episode stories and given feedback before!

What you have to do:

Tell me:

  • Your story title
  • Your author name
  • Tell me things you’d like me to focus on
  • There is NO NEED to put your cover art here!
  • Go follow me on Instagram? I do reviews @ hanaxwrites. This is not mandatory though :slight_smile:

Then, I should post my commentaries of your story on this thread by a day or two!

Thank you for checking out my thread and requesting! I love helping out more people <3

**Remember that I give HONEST feedback on this thread. Which means I try to give you criticism that’s as constructive as possible. Keep in mind that all of this is in the goal to HELP your story improve in a few ways, by stating MY opinion! Every story has potential, and I know every author worked hard! :))

** You can check out my Insta account @ hanaxwrites to request a public review (CLOSED ATM) or request one on our group @ newlydiscovered.episode ! **

4 Likes

Thank you for doing this!:heart:
Title : AW: The stars have colors
By: Shahar
Num of chapters: Three
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5452449138933760

I’d like you to focus on Grammar, directioning and the plot!!:blush:

Thank you for your request!

Story Name: A Fairy Tale Ending
Author Name: SB (IG: @sb_episodes)
Chapters: 3
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5821162079977472

I would love it if you could check grammar, directing, plot and anything else that should be improved. Thank you so much for doing this!

  • Your story title: Dirty Little Secret
  • Your author name: Anongirl
  • The number of chapters you’d like me to check out; 3
  • Tell me things you’d like me to focus on: The plot, grammar, and the uniqueness.
    Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5833300720615424

Hey I would like one

  • Your story title: Torn Apart LL
  • Your author name: SRS
  • The number of chapters you’d like me to check out (max 3): 3 please
  • Tell me things you’d like me to focus on: Plot, Directing, and anything that should be improved
  • Go follow me on Instagram?: Of course! I will do that!

Hi @shaharPie,
Here’s what I thought of your story!

Chapter 1 :

  • I loved your intro and splashes
  • it is made of people that are born with what I call magic eyes”
  • I really liked the backgrounds and the extras who were moving !
  • I would suggest using HARD RAIN for when the MC showers!
  • the speechbubbles during the scene behind the computer were at the wrong place
  • the transition was smooth between the different filters (you gotta teach me !!!)
  • Great chapter length. Directing (zooms and spot) were flawless. The concept is great, and you developed many aspects of the MC’s life!
    I didn’t understand the cliffhanger at first, so maybe zoom longer, or have the mc say something like “Wow is that a color?”

Chapter 2:

  • blanket overlay came a bit later in the “it’s saturday” scene
  • "It should be illegal to let you breathe
  • “He stood in front of me, and when I tried to walk…”
  • “Go ahead, I have money” lol that was funny
  • When she returns home, MC does the walk and the pumpfist animation at the same time. I would use THEN!
  • Wow, that cliffhanger. And I’m sure we’re going to see hottie Hero too!

Chapter 3

  • I was right
  • In the first line of narration: there’s an S after the sentence

OVERALL
I really enjoyed your story!
Your idea is amazing and your pace is good.
I would definitely read the rest!
I loved all of your characters. Especially a certain detective. I’m also curious what the point system will lead to! Good job! <3

Thank you for your request!

Thank you for your request !

1 Like

Thank you for your request!
:slight_smile:

1 Like

Hi! Thanks for requesting!

Chapter 1

  • "In the kingdom of Auriga lived a king and queen
  • “Barric wanted so badly to rule that he had grown impatient”
  • in the fighting scene, I would suggest to place the characters before the transition. And maybe count the punches,because of the new guidelines.
  • I found the first chapter very interesting, but a bit short. However, the narration was great and I would love to see what happens next to all the characters. The plot seems great, and I’m guessing we’re going to play as the young princess.
    Your directing was great, but sometimes characters do weird stuff after they’ve entered. Make sure you use either @ CHAR enters from left to screen center or @ CHAR walks to spot 00000000

Chapter 2

  • "Today is your sixteenth birthday, and for a royal child, it’s a very important day because they are given their royal duties throughout the kingdom.
  • The outfit choices are beautiful but could use some names as it’s easier for the reader to remember after trying them all on lol
  • thanks for letting me use profile avatar. It saves some time/
  • the mother didn’t do the hug animation in the gift scene.
  • Remember to use different animations when the characters are talking.
  • great job on spot directing extras. However, try to make them move more!
  • I love Cassy
  • The mc is facing the wrong direction while Cassy changes into a silver dress
  • I liked the cliffhanger. The pace is great, and I’m starting to know more about the MC’s personality which is great.

Chapter 3

  • "Chapter 3 Whose kingdom?
  • The spot directing Arnold entered was a bit glitchy. Try to spot direct him off scene and then make him @ARNOLD walks to 000000 instead of entering.
  • great overlay animation from when the guards fell down
  • I wouldn’t suggest using the “exit” command, but rather spot direct the characters off scene and make them walk towards there, because they’re bigger as they exit.
  • Again, the cliffhanger was interesting!
    I can’t wait to read more. Your story has a lot of potential!

Thank you so much!

Thanks for the thread!

Here’s mine…

Title: Shado
Author: Roy
Description: After tragedy, Roy returns to civilization a changed women. She begins her crusade, determined to put things right, with the help of her trusted people,waging a one-woman on crime
Instagram : roy_episode
Style: Ink
Chapters: 6 and ongoing
You can review 3
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5108744574074880

Shado_S9_posterThumb_cEh8zzozgE

A read would be appreciated :heart:
Title: Cinderfella
Author: Missflameo
Genre: Action/Romance
Style: Limelight and Spotlight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4783816492515328
Summary: He was raised to be a thief, resenting his upbringing for as long as he can remember. One night, when a con goes wrong a strange woman is there to save him. Can he trust her?
Chapters: 3 Published (More to come)

image

My title: You’re my sunshine
Author: Faith Rose
Genre: Drama/Comedy/Romance
Style: INK
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4514012789538816

Summary: About girl named Samantha Woods who has a learning disability struggles with it Until She meets Nick her Sunshine CC is limited
Chapter: 2 Unpublished (more in progress of making)

Thank you so much!!! I’m pretty glad my grammar mistakes are mostly typos/small errors because English isn’t my first language and I was sooo afraid. :sweat_smile: thank you for the honest review I really appreciate that!!

Moved to Share Feedback. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics, and feel to PM me if there are any questions. :wink:

Hey! I would love for you to review 3 episodes of my story! :blush: Thank you so much and I hope you like it! :black_heart:
Here’s my story:
Name: Where the Shadows Belong
Author: Dani
Instagram: daniepisodewriter
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
Episodes: 8 (More coming soon…)
Description: Alexia has known the demon world for as long as she remembers, but still, her life was simple until she decided to join supernatural hunters. And you? Are you willing to join them?
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5012355304456192

Title: Storm Shield: Destiny Discovery
Author: Ray Edwin
Description: Kayla, an advanced homeschooler, just wants a normal life. After acceptance into a prestigious school, will she finally discover normality or is abnormality her fated destiny?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5486703935291392
Chapters to review? Three, please.
Areas of focus: Chapter length, reader retention, clarity. (anything you feel is noteworthy!)
Notes: My cover has not been approved yet, so you will not see it in the app. I have attached the covers here until they are approved.

Summary

Hi! Here’s what I thought of your story:

Chapter 1:

The dialogue was funny and I liked her “teenager’sl thoughts.

However, you could use more zooms In the first scenes because otherwise the long dialogue scenes can get boring, as the visual doesn’t change much.

I love how the Mac stands up to Blaire lol

I love the pace and how the story is turning out. It doesn’t feel rushed or anything!

Maybe try not to use repeated animations as it’s kind of awkward.

The first episode was overall funny, the cliffhanger was interesting. The pace is good too. I’m excited for what happens next. I’m guessing the mom is either murdered, in depression or with someone else.

Chapter 2:

The speech she gave made my heart tighten a little, although I feel like she’s being unfair. Man, I’m rlly getting invested in your characters.

The fall animation at the train tracks scene was glitchy. I would suggest making her stand up or roll instead of falling because she’s already lying down.

This episode felt a bit shorter than the previous one. I’d also maybe like making more choices ? But it was a great episode nonetheless.

I really liked your first chapters. I’d love to read more about the characters, who were in my opinion very interesting.

1 Like