Thanks for the review!
Summary
Hi! Here’s what I thought of your story:
Chapter 1:
- the fighting scene was cool. It looked like you knew what you were talking about. However, count the punches. The new episode guidelines only allow 5 punches/scene
- “to breathe again”
- when the master enters the scene, he becomes smaller. Spot him off scene horizontally to his position onscreen and make him walk to his position.
- the mini game glitched for me?
- this chapter was kind of short for me, however, the idea and the pace were pretty great. I love the characters and the fighting scenes were really well described!
Chapter 2
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woah the father’s plot twist
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in the scene where the dad slaps the mom, put the dad at a higher layer (for example, mom moves to layer 2 and dad moves to layer 3) so that he’s in front of her when he hits her. Also, maybe remove the Cup?
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They were so cute together!
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I didn’t understand exactly the dialogue between noah and Roy at the restaurant. Were they going at the friend’s house or were they staying in, exactly?
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When Roy and Noah stepped out of the car, where did their car go?
Overall I really enjoyed the plot of this story. :))
1 Like
Thank you very much
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