I'm in need of a honest review

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Please give me an HONEST review if you have time. THANK YOU
Hey! I just started a new story…
YOU CAN CONTACT ME ON IG: @emilyj.episode
Author: Emily j

Title: Make Up Your Mind

Genre: Romance

Description: When Jade is given the choice of her first love, a mafia king, or his partner in crime will she make up her mind? She will need your help to deal w/ the drama coming up. (LL) (CC)(LGBT OPTION)

CHOICES MATTER

Episodes: 1-6 out now! More coming soon…

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Oky so here’s the review of your first chapter–

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  • The description/teaser looks a bit odd in contrast to the story. Maybe ya can replace it with " When Jade is given the choice of her first love, a mafia king, or his partner in crime. Will she ever make up her mind? Find out in the upcoming chapters of Make Up Your Mind. (LL) (CC)(LGBT OPTION)"

  • In the first scene, I cannot see any motion or panning to the right while she narrates which makes the part a bit boring.

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  • In this scene, in my opinion the MC shall be saying, " Fine…Just keep in mind, that I hate you ", instead of " Fine, Just know that I hate you ".

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  • Here you made a sudden scene change I see. Maybe try previewing this scene yourself and make out the errors.

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So that’s all for the first chapter. I also liked the motion parts in the story such as the one in the bar. If you like this review, I’d try to get you a review for the other chapters too soon.

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Thank you so so much! I just went and fixed everything you mentioned. This was very helpful, btw for the bar scene you mentioned I was still trying to figure out how to make them walk to spot so I would just fade out lol (it doesn’t happen again later in the story). If you can I would love if you could review my other episodes. Again, thank you so much!:heartbeat:

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Sure, It would be completed by 1st February or sooner.

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Moved to Share Feedback since you’re asking for reviews. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions. :wink:

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Oh okay, thank you so much I had no idea.

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