You ever have this feeling like you’re at war with yourself deciding whether u want to spend time with a family member or not…and your like i dont know.
“They haven’t called nor check on me”, etc.
At the end of the day, how long you haven’t spoke to each other, or see each other or spend time with each other, we’re still a family. I really get stress when someone talk to me like im just a nobody like, when your a kid, they help you mom raised you and when your older its like yr ignoring them and they are ignoring you for not checking on each other, visiting, etc.
Yeah and I know it happens a lot especially when the family is arguing and splitting up, but like I just want time to myself to process, I’ll visit, I’ll send flowers, call and check to see how your doing, this year is a year of change.
Ikr, and since my childhood, things have been rough for me, I’ve always been bullied, humiliated, feeling shy around people, scared, afraid, and even like just feeling empty. I think different, my speech is so idk, I guess I was born to be different, and experience these things. God, it is so stressful and its painful…its…why am I here? Why?
It’s hard for me to explain, like right now how I just said tht, “It’s hard for me to explain” , it’s hard for me to think. What to say to people, how to say it clearly. What do to do when your an adult now? What do u need to do when your family member passes and yr like all alone and dont know what to do. Certain things like these have me thinking a lot and just…well u know.
And now your starting to think that you can do this by yourself, you dont need no one, plan what u need to do, like for example bills, get a job, work to pay rent, etc have food for yourself, make house improvements, go out and eat, and maybe socialize a bit, etc. Damn…all of this to take in…