I'm Reading First Chapters! *CLOSED FOR NOW* (check out Discord for grammar help)


#1

First chapters are super important! They’re the ‘pilot’ - the chapter where you’re supposed to capture the audience. People are much happier to read that chapter because it’s pass-free and then choose if they want to continue reading your story if it grabs their attention. It’s kinda like a free sample in an ice cream shop! That’s why it is essential to make sure that you get the first chapter spot on!

What I’m offering:

  1. Spelling, Punctuation and Grammar (SPaG) notes.
  2. Some basic direction notes.
  3. Feedback on if the dialogue sounds interesting, natural and useful.
  4. Feedback on if the first chapter grabs my attention
  5. An honest opinion of the plot (based on your summary), what I liked about it and what I think needs work.
  6. Information on whether I think you’re meeting diversity standards, if you’re sensitively representing minorities and how I believe you can improve. This one is a little harder for me. I have experience with ethnic minority representation, religious representation and representation of homosexuality (or bisexuality), but I am not an expert in transgender representation, so I can only say the basic things here.
  7. General notes on what I think worked and didn’t work.

*It is important to note that I will be working on the premise that I like most of your story. You will be getting more criticisms than good points because I want to help you improve. I will tell you what I loved, but I will spend a lot of time telling you what I think you could improve on. I hope this doesn’t make you feel put out!

If you want me to have a look at your first chapter, please do the following things:

  1. Give me the name of the story.
  2. Provide a summary of the plot of the story as a whole. This can be as long or as short as you would like it to be. The more detailed this is, the better I can tell you whether I think if it worked and gave the correct impression from Chapter One.
  3. Optional: one or two sentences on what you think worked and didn’t in your story. If you have a few things you know don’t work and want info on how to improve them, I can help.
  4. A link to the story.
  5. Tell me what you would like me to focus on out of the list of things I can do. If there isn’t something in particular, I’ll do all of them. Also, tell me if there’s something you don’t want me to talk about.

I look forward to working with you!


#2

Hey!! I would love some advice !!! I’m brand new to this and have only put up 6 episodes so far! I’m open to ALL FEEDBACK, good and bad!!

Story name: Blaze of Glory
Style: Limelight
I feel like I don’t have a ton of movement in my story!
I believe in my story 100% I’m just worried that my story may get boring because characters are not moving around a ton!
link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5793617582620672

Thank you


#3

I sent you a reply in your messages! I hope that’s helped :smiley:


#4

Good thread! I’d love to here what you think.

[DEMON GOD]
Author: E.Z.
Genre: Fantasy
Style: Ink
Chapters: 8 (on going)
Instagram: @e.z.episode
Description: He starved himself for three hundred years in order to abide by a woman’s promise. Everyone in Devildom is waiting for him to die.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/46786733136936961

I’d like a thorough review, please. Thank you in advance.


#5

Hello! I’m also a new writer. I’d love ]for you to read my story and give me any critique you may have.

Here’s my first story
Title: {With No Regrets}
Author: Abigail McQueen
Genre: Drama
Style: Ink
Chapters: 9 (published, more to come)
Instagram: abigailmcqueen.episodes
Description: Isabel life spirals out of control after her brothers death. Her family moves her across country to start anew. She finds new friends and a new look on life. One night she meets Jasper who’s determined to have her in his world.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6185969355194368


#6

Title of the story : Trail Of Tears
Name of the author : Cindy
Story genre : Drama/Romance
Description : A girl who goes through a lot in her life. Some days are good and some days are bad she wants to just be a normal girl that does not have to run away from her problems. CC
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5548954080247808
Style : Ink
Episodes : 15


#7

Hey, I just posted my first story. It would be amazing if you can take a look! Thanks!

Title: Secretly In Love
Author: Veronica Black
Style: Limelight
Genre: Romance/Drama
Episodes: 3(ongoing)
Description: Your life turned upside down in a blink of an eye. Will you be a good friend and stay loyal to your best friend? Or follow your heart and let the bad side in you take over control?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6615900639330304


#8

Thank you in advance for your dedication to improving user stories! Here is mine with the information you requested.

Story Title: Illegal Alien
Summary: Stella befriends a stranger who stops her from committing suicide. Follow her life as she uncovers secrets of the mystery man and her own mortality.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6005998233452544
Specific things to look out for: Does the first chapter grab your attention? Honest opinion on plot?
Illegal_Alien_posterThumb_75ologZFS3


#9

Hey, I would love to hear some feedback on my story. And if you have any suggestions on how to improve it or make the story more captivating, please do let me know.

Title: Dangerous Love
Author: DarkPrincess
Genre: Romance
Style: Ink
Description: A mafia leader on the run holds you captive. Can you keep your heart from being tangled up in his messed up world?
Episodes: 3 (more to come)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4945431087022080

I’d really appreciate all the feedback I can get. Thanks! :blush:


#10

Moved to Share Feedback section as that’s where review threads live. Carry on! :v:t2:


#11

Awesome! I’m gonna start reading it now! Keep your eyes peeled for a message! :smiley:


#12

For some reason, the link isn’t working :frowning:

I’ll definitely read it if I can access it!


#13

Hello! Having a look at your first chapter now!


#14

I’m sorry but tbh I don’t know why. Please try again this time.


#15

Hey there. I am open to any feedback on my new story!

Title - The FireDraco’s Destiny: Rhea’s Arc
Author - AbbyB
Genre - Fantasy
Episodes - 4 (ongoing)
Description- After Talina’s Arc, Rhea is the legacy to destroy evil. Being a Dragon in the supernatural world is more than troublesome. Will you finish what your ancestors started?
Focus - Just the introduction episodes as a whole and if it is an effective opening chapter.

Link - http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6247706304053248
Instagram - official.abbyb.episode
Thanks again and any feedback is appreciated.


#16

Hey! I’ve just spent weeks revamping all the chapters After getting the hang of the coding and I would love any feedback you could give xx

Story Title : The Art of The Deal

Author : GraceX
Style : Ink
Episodes : 10 ongoing

Genre: Action/Comedy/ Romance

Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4622710791208960

Story: Isobel lives a secret life but is captured by Dark Chaos, a gang with a twist. Fighting for the greater good! But have there lives crossed before?


#17

Hi I would love feedback on my new story :heart:

Here’s my story:
Title: Prominent Gift
Author: Gia Morina
Genre: Fantasy/Werewolf/Drama
Description: Kidnapped at 16, Piper finally escapes after three years. She finds herself in the home of the soon to be Alpha King. What happens when her kidnappers come looking for her? How long can the Alpha King keep her protected?
Number of Episodes: 4 (Ongoing)
Instagram: gia.writes
Link to Story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5263005260054528


#18

1.) The Bet
2.) All hell breaks loose when Emily is enrolled in an all magic school and Emily’s mysterious parents show up in her life after making a bet with one another.
3.) http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5029584623501312
4.) Please focus on grammar and directing/the plot…


#19

_Hey, can you please read my story? _

Title: Romantic Cruise
Author: Lawful Evil
Style: Ink
Genre: Romance, Drama
Episodes: 4 [Completed] 2 endings
Description: You break up with your cheating boyfriend and go on a cruise. What will happen if you meet a mysterious dangerous man? Customize Characters
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4697971707478016

Pleafeedback: e some feedback :slight_smile:


#20

NAME: Mr Bad Boy and Mrs Bad Girl
DESCRIPTION: Your the most powerful gang leader. Your going on an undercover mission to kill your BIGGEST rival. Will love get in your way? (Character Customisation)
CHAPTERS: 4 and to be continued
GENRE: Action
STYLE: Ink
LINK: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6255237127602176
INSTAGRAM: hx.episode

be sure to send fan mail and tag me on screenshots