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Liar

I curled into myself. The feeling of my knees pressed against my chest seemed like a good idea before. Now it just serves as a reminder of the soul crushing loneliness that clawed at my heart. A sigh rings out and echoes into the loud chamber. For a moment it doesn’t sound like my own. The reverberation sounds hollow, it tells a story without words, gasping pathetically for air. Then I realize it is my own. That’s my voice gasping for air, sounding hollow. It is mine. I know that to be true because I’m alone.

Everything was fine just yesterday morning. I cooked breakfast and the kids ran downstairs. My husband greeting me at my side, planting a soft tender kiss on my forehead. Then night fell. Like an actor on stage my perfect reality had morphed: an argument. Screaming, broken glass, lies.

As he tore them away from me, as they fled from me, as the rain cascading down consumed them. I had said everything would be fine. They’d be back. The scene would reset and we would all redo it, maybe this time with more emotion.

They didn’t come back. The stage never reset. I’m not fine. However, I the show won’t stop, I will put on my mask dutifully and smile when I say my lines. Yet I’m overcome with a wave of despair, my breathing won’t stabilize. Tears cloud my vision and I’m choking on some invisible lump.

Oh, if only I hadn’t lied…

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