The Opposites
I had heard once that pacing helped relive stress, however, I still can’t focus properly. Sweat has started to touch the edges of my hairline and my legs feel weighed down. My hand rakes through my short hair, threatening to take out a strand here and there. It’s been two hours. Two hours since classes ended. Still, I remain walking in circles both physically and mentally. Why hasn’t he called?
A harsh tug of my hair tears at my scalp, my vision becoming watery and distorted. I grasp the phone and curl up on the bed. The heat from the screen was burning yet oddly consoling. I quickly turn it on, opening the contacts list.
Anaya! What is wrong with you!?
You dared me into this ball pit and you sure as hell better get me out! I get distracted from the moment, laughing insanely. The image of him getting pulled out of the ball pit and the sole ball attached to his pant leg flashed in my head.
Hey, Anaya.
I-I’m really sorry about earlier- I just- I- His voice is cracking and he fumbles with his words. I smile lightly remembering how stupid we both looked. I love you. And I-I don’t want t-to lose you
Anaya, I’m going to college.
I bit my lip and start to tear up again, I fully remembered this message. He was leaving. No, he has. Still I can’t stop myself from playing, just to hear his voice one last time.
It’s a different college. Different state, different people.
That’s right. He’s left for something different, I’m just part of the past he wants to bury. He wants different but I can only give him me. A fit of tears bursts out and the heaviness weighing on my chest doubles. I can barely breathe choking on my own sobs. Five hours. He hasn’t called because he wants to erase part of his life. The part I loved, yet now I’m forced to watch us break.
I throw the phone against the wall tired of hearing his voice. But it sets off the voicemail again and before I can turn it off, I hear his melodic voice ring out.
It’s all different. Everything. Except you. You’re like the sun and I’m the Earth. A familiar low grumble comes out and while my eyes are puffy and itchy my heart is light as a feather. Or was it the other way around? Anyways, just know I love you. Okay?
I smile and wipe my tears.
Maybe it will be okay.