I have some advice for authors looking to include LGBTQ+ characters. (for reference, I’m biromantic, asexual, and cisgender)
Do
- Give your characters diverse gender expressions. Gender expression relates to how you present yourself on a spectrum from masculine to feminine. Anyone, regardless of their gender identity, can be masculine, feminine, or androgynous. Some gay men fit the stereotype of being feminine and some lesbians fit the stereotype of being masculine, but you shouldn’t restrict your characters to fitting or contradicting the stereotype. Non-binary characters do not have to be androgynous. Accepting that your identity deviates from the cis-heteronormative standard often empowers people to embrace their individuality. LGBTQ+ look any and every way.
- Let your LGBTQ+ characters have LGBTQ+ friends. It can be lonely being the only LGBTQ+ person in a group full of cishet people. Community is really important to a lot of LGBTQ+ people, even lifesaving. Plus, including other LGBTQ+ people allows you to show our diversity.
- Use humor. Being LGBTQ+ can be a big part of our lives and we have a lot of memes. Proceed with caution if you are cishet or if the character making the joke is cishet, but if an LGBTQ+ person said I looked gay and I was wearing an outfit like this:
I’d probably say thank you.
- Include us no matter the time period. LGBTQ+ people existed before the late 20th century. You aren’t obligated to write our stories, but you shouldn’t use history as an excuse. There are many Greek myths with LGBTQ+ characters (ie Apollo and Hyacinth). Alan Hart was a physician who devoted his life to researching tuberculosis detection and in 1918, was one of the first trans men to undergo a hysterectomy in the US.
Don’t
- Deadname trans characters. After your trans or nonbinary character comes out to people who knew them before they realized they are trans, there is no need to use their birth name or the wrong pronouns.
- Infantilize asexual characters or make other LGBTQ+ characters overly flirty. Orientation does not determine personality. Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, but we did go to health class. Our boundaries are our own. It’s an extremely harmful stereotype that LGBTQ+ people are predatory and trying to force our identities on other people, so avoid these kinds of characters. Some LGBTQ+ people are flirty, but if they’re the only flirt or the only LGBTQ+ character, reconsider.
- Call your character’s identity a preference or lifestyle. Words like “preference” or “lifestyle” imply that being LGBTQ+ is a choice. It’s not. LGBTQ+ people cannot become cishet and denying that identity can be extremely damaging to mental health. Use instead words like “identity” or “orientation.”
-
Use the word “queer” carelessly. Queer is a controversial term within the community. It has been used as a slur, particularly when “queer” is used as a noun. Some academics, activists, and individuals like “queer” because it’s edgy and open-ended. I recommend Philosophy Tube’s video essay “Queer
” for an in-depth look at the issue. - Assume straight-passing is the same as straight. Even if an LGBTQ+ person ends up in a “straight” relationship, they’re still LGBTQ+. They don’t have to go back into the closet. Identities don’t depend on relationship status and erasure of that identity is hurtful.
- Assume all homophobes are gay. Internalized homophobia is real, but LGBTQ+ people did not wake up one day and decide to oppress themselves. Homophobia is a problem created and perpetuated mostly by straight people. Straight and cis people need to work on being allies, not dismiss bigotry as someone else’s problem.