No problem honey. You have nothing to be ashamed of. So, let them be fake and talk whatever trash makes them feel better. I do think there’s a place for emotions in life, I just also think that there should be a balance. When my best friend of 12 years died in a car wreck, I cried like a child… when my grandfather died, I didn’t cry because I was not close to him.
Just remember that you are you and however you choose to show emotions/grieve/not grieve is perfectly okay. 