I did this before with the last story I was working on and I got constructive feedback and was hoping for some help again
Some key features are that it has a male MC, CC, choices matter - multiple endings, also it’s a comedy
Comedies are quite subjective and I was wondering if someone could read the first half of the first episode and tell me if they actually find it funny and if it is intriguing enough so that they would continue reading, not just because they have to.
I would also like to hear you thoughts on the plot as I have tried to think of something that isn’t overdone.
The plot: Male MC is Rowan and works two jobs as a stripper and care home worker with aims of becoming a firefighter. Throughout the story there is going to be choices which will gain firefighter points and this will determine if Rowan becomes a firefighter in the end or not. Some things that I am going to include throughout the story to keep things interesting is an LI (optional) and that he hasn’t told his family the complete truth of his job. I also intend to explore Rowan’s past of bullying and some sort of major life event that made him want to become a firefighter.
Again this is suppose to be a comedy with some aspects of drama and I intend for it to be a short story as there is only so much I can do with the plot ( however if you think of any suggestions, I’d like to hear it ). A final thing I would also like to know is if I am trying too hard to funny yk, then it’s just cringe.
In return for feed back, I will be willing to read your story if you have one.
If you’re interested reply with your opinion on the plot and I will send the link to my story before the end of the day