Is This A Good Desc If Not, Any Suggestions?

[Epiiuser_Queen]

*TILE: Divine Darkness

DESC: Rose, a child of darkness has came to the surface world for the first time in thousands of years, her mission; “go live a mortal life” as her father said to her.

CC

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[IsabelleV]

I like it! Grammar corrections:

has come
years. Her mission
“Go live a mortal life.”
add comma after “a child of darkness”.

[Epiiuser_Queen]

ty…

how am I passing English doe!?

[IsabelleV]

A suggestion:
Rose, a child of darkness, has come to the surface world for the first time in thousands of years. Her mind is set on one mission: to live a mortal life. But wherever Rose goes, her darkness follows.

[Epiiuser_Queen]

Oouuu