Hi everyone! I know there are four or five… hundred… threads shamelessly shaming mafia story writers and, I do admit, I’m guilty of it… but I wanted to try something new. From what I get from reading post… after post… after post… of them, I’m getting that the major problem is the lack of variety and romanticizing the mafia.
So, here’s what I was thinking:
My story would have an LI in the mafia. But, before he met the MC, he was trying to leave, but his father asked why he wanted to, and he didn’t know, so he just stayed because he didn’t have anything better to do, and he felt he had commitments to his family. When he meets the MC, he starts to like her (it’s a slow burn story) and he finally finds a reason to leave. Now, the rest of the story, after he leaves, has nothing to do with it.
The mafia portion has absolutely no bearing on the romance part for the MC, just a reason for the LI to leave it. Would that be considered romanticizing the mafia? I don’t know, I kind of feel like it is, but I’m not sure… Opinions? Advice?
I think that the main part that people hate about mafia stories is that the girl is always powerless and it’s really rude so maybe give the girl a bit more power and no offense but you seem a little unsure about the plot, maybe get a better idea and more information?
So, the reason there’s not a lot of information is because I don’t want anyone stealing my idea, which one of my friends had a problem with, and I didn’t want anyone to steal it.
Anyways, she is very powerful, but she’s not like the “tough girl, doesn’t care about anyone else,” she’s powerful, but is very caring, without being super shy or weak. She can hold her ground, of course, but tends to be a bit on the softer side.
I didn’t develop the plot as much as I have with other stories because I didn’t want all the planning to go to waste if it would be considered romanticizing the mafia. It’s easier to restart an idea than to constantly revise it
an example of what i think romanticizing the mafia is when the MC is kidnapped and “sold” to the mafia boss and she falls in love with him (??sorry what??) OR when the MC’s mom or dad is killed by the mafia men, they find her as “collateral damage” and take her to the boss and also again falls in love with him (sis-).
I think romanticizing mafia is when we treat those criminals (yes they are criminals, bad bad criminals) as people with actual good hearts and if they didn’t have their “emotional baggage” they wouldn’t murder innocent ppl (in some stories they kind of put the whole of police force in bad light…which is not good). They also take being kidnapped and “sold”, which are some major traumatic experiences just as a way for the MC and LI to meet.
back to your story (which the whole topic was about lol sorry for the above passage)
i don’t think you are necessarily romanticizing the mafia. If the MC falls in love with a guy who HAD been a part of the mafia in the past…then I don’t think this is romanticizing the mafia, no.
The LI has still not left Mafia. He’s just thinking about it but don’t have enough motivation to leave them. So he still fit your Bad criminal category.
Back to OP, Are u asking for feedback from readers even before writing the said story🤨 ?
Mafia stories aren’t my cup of tea to begin with; but if you really want to attempt to rewrite the common themes we see on Episode, then I think minimizing the mafia’s impact is not the way to go about it. For people working within organized crime, escaping is not as simple as “Okay, I found love; I’m outie.” It’s insidious, and it kills, and it bars you ever being able to obtain a normal life. I think it would be more realistic if you made it so that the LI tried to leave with all their might but couldn’t, if anything.
If you’re set on having the LI “escape,” at least be sure to show the negative mental health effects of pursuing (or in your case; being born into) that lifestyle and maybe even include some consequences for anyone that helped them get out.
I think one of the best things you can do for a mafia story is have heavy consequences, not just for villains but for innocent people too (ex: kill the LI or the MC; the cycle of violence isn’t over because you’re over it). If you simply want to write a romance story and you’re only using the mafia as a plot device to drive the MC and LI together, cut the mafia entirely.
To answer your question, yes, I think it’s romanticizing the mafia. But that’s always going to happen when you combine “romance” and “mafia.” I’m still trying to understand how the trend came about because truly there’s very little romance when gangs are involved. Lust and violent misogyny? Sure. Romance?
good idea, but you dont just leave the mafia, when your in its for good. or a fight to get out. so if he just left with out anything it wont be so ralistick.
Leaving the mafis isn’t exactly that easy; you’re bound by the crimes that you’ve committed, and the crimes you know your fellow members committed. You’ll never be free, unless your entire Familia collapses or gets busted.
Actually, that does give me an idea. How about, this LI tries to get out while the Familia is at the break of collapse? At first, he tries to stay and preserve what he’s lived with, but getting to know the MC makes him realize that he should pursue a more modest, law-abiding life? Of course in the manner of a slow burn.
There’s absolutely cases of former mafia men living such lives today that went through exactly this, after all.
I wouldn’t think so. The LI is actively trying to leave the mafia. I don’t think that’s seen as romanticizing it if he’s trying to escape from the lifestyle.
Thanks for the tag!
I don’t know what to say except that I think it’s a good idea; you’re really portraying the right things about the mafia and it’s not at all cliche… good luck writing/coding your story!
To be honest, the one part that bothers me about this is here:
The problem is that leaving the mafia life is extremely hard and dangerous. They have a code of silence and of honor for a reason. In theory, according to their ‘philosophy’, the only way out of the mafia is death. Granted, there were cases of people leaving the mafia and collaborating with the authorities (because let’s be real, if you were a part of a criminal organization all along, the police and justice won’t leave you alone just like that). However, neither does the mafia. If you do make it out alive, you’re hunted down for the rest of your life. People who got out (and not only them, but also people who actively fight against the mafia) needed bodyguards at all times.
So all this to say, LI can’t just get out and the rest of the story never touches upon this theme ever again.
Another reason is that it becomes a reason for clout. I expressed this in another ~ancient~ thread (granted I was kinda mad then and the case was a bit different to yours, but here it is):
I hope you understand what I mean by this. The fact that LI wants to get out is great and positive. But don’t even bother to mention it, or anything about the mafia world, if it’s not in your intentions to elaborate later on in the story. Topics like this are too sensitive to be handled so lightly.
Portrayal of them accurately (to me, anyway) is very important and quite often not done, they’re bad criminals who conduct despicable crimes on both innocent and guilty people.
As for the LI, I think it’s more likely that if he was someone who wanted to leave that lifestyle, he’d be frowned upon by his family and perhaps even punished for it. He might be viewed as weak, unworthy, useless, the runt or the let down of the family etc unless he conceals it well but even then, it’s also probably likely that he’d be asked to conduct horrid crimes either way (if he conceals it well, he’d just be fulfilling his family’s ‘duties,’ if he appears weak and wants out, he could still be asked to perform them as a way to punish him or he might even receive torture or death). Perhaps they’d threaten to hurt or kill MC as leverage over him and a way to control him if they found out about her.
To avoid romanticization of the mafia in my opinion, he’d either have to be young enough to be innocent of his family’s crimes or was truly remorseful of any crimes he had committed (perhaps even became damaged) and knew his family + that lifestyle was dangerous, unlawful and in no way should ever be condoned or performed or even turn himself in (and/or his family) to face the consequences of the law, provided the officers, lawyers, barristers etc aren’t on their payroll already.
He’d still be putting himself and MC at risk whether he chooses to stay or leave (more so if he chooses to leave, especially for MC) and they’d likely require a protection program if he didn’t want to go to prison.
I’m still trying to understand how the trend came about because truly there’s very little romance when gangs are involved. Lust and violent misogyny? Sure. Romance? 
