First I want to explain that English is not my original language, and I’m not in the highest of levels, so it may be hard for me to write my thoughts about the description of the story in a way that seems original and interesting without any mistakes.
1.About the ‘‘that no other has’’ phrase: I was actually planning on not keeping that in the story, but since the description is the first thing you read I might as well change it.
2.I really don’t know what to answer first in comment number 2 so I sould just explain the situation… (I’m not revealing much, if you want further explanations I would love to discuss it at the private message section). So first things first, about what the power is, the cover of the story will give a hint, a slight one, at least if it is reffereng to physical, mind, or other kinds of power. I’m not far into the story so I don’t even know what is happening with the power management and if she’s gonna be able to control it after all. About your question “is her life on the line?” maybe it’s not her actual life as a human being, but her life as a teenager, maybe her friends or family are on the line, her highschool, her future as what we call “a normal human being”. And in general I’m really having second thought about how interesting is that power and if I could spice it up a beat so the description is definitely not the final one. Also I can’t say what happens if her power isn’t under control or if her life is on the line in the description, it’s just two lines long and besides that I can’t mention every interesting question I find. Of course I’ll have to improve the content with something more interesting but there isn’t musch space for me to “explain” and make the reader wonder, so it’s hard. “Conquer her inner world”: I and some voters of the old description in a previous topic thought that it’s a nice phrase to add. You’re right about the connection between the power and her inner world, it doesn’t connect as much.
3. I also can’t mention why the power should remain a secret in the description, you’ll have to read the story to learn that. (In general I think that you’re asking a little bit for too much information in the description and I simply can’t do that even if I change it entirely, since it is only two lines long. Of course I can make it more interesting but I can’t fit everything you’re asking for.
Also the old one may make more sence in your head but it doesn’t connect with the word “secret” of the title. There is not one mention in the old one. There will certainly be something that’s keeping her from controling her power but even I haven’t figured that out yet. Like I said I’m not far into the story, in fact I’m just at the first episode and the story will definitely not be released any time soon.
It’s ok that you changed the vote count, it isn’t made to be perfect, it’s made for opinions.
Lastly thank you for taking the time to explain everything that you didn’t like and thank you for giving it so much thought. I would love to discuss it further in the private messages, but I also think that I have to make it, so that the majority of the readers understand without further axplanations and there are questions forming in their heads, just from reading the description, because I can’t explain to everyone, they’re gonna judge the story from cover and description.