Is this story good?

Hey guys
I have started writting a new story and wanted yall’s opinion
please dont use this in your story without my permissiom

Ivy as Narrator

Have you lost someone you loved most in front of your own eyes

And only to Joined Their group

This is me, Ivy, A ferocious Vampire

Thirsty for Human Blood, eager to kill anyone in my way

I wasn’t always like this, My real name was Ashley, Who I tried to kill when I turned into Ivy

Ashley was A sweet caring girl who hated blood

And Ivy was A monster who survived on blood

I tried to erase every memory of Ashley, But How could I erase someone who was once ME

I wasn’t alive But I wasn’t dead too

My feeling were buried underneath me and all people could see was

Ivy, The girl Who killed innocents and sucked Human blood

The concept seems good so far! but I think the syntax of your narration could be worked on
Other than that, I like it so far

can you help

Sure Through PM?


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