Honestly this is great for your first story, the zooming, spot directing etc. What I like most about your story are your diverse characters. I’m so tired of seeing basic white girls with tiring personalities but that wasn’t the case for your story at all, the guys didn’t all have button noses and the girls didn’t only use the long, straight hairstyle lol. Your characters are well rounded, I love their personalities.
Your writing and grammar is good, the conversations are interesting and you include some humor in the story which I love. The usage of sound and music is also great, for me personally it enhances the reading experience and you added the sound effects at just the right time and had fitting music to every scene.
In the beginning where Alicia, Barbara and Ulyses talks, make sure that they’re facing the person they’re talking to. Alicia stands in the center in both the campus scene and the coffee shop scene, it would look much better if you made her face the person she’s talking to since she’s both talking to Barbara and Ulyses - does this make sense?
Um alright so the first chapter was rather short but I really like the plot, you created a great cliffhanger in the end. Overall great story, especially for being your first story, good luck with writing in the future!